Rebirth
by bunny girl1
Summary: CHAPTER 15 IS UP (YAY)... Sequel to Angel Wings. The world has been torn apart by Paul, and now the final hope for the universe lies in the hands of two individuals. But Suze and Jesse will also have to face the darkness in their own hearts...
1. Hope so Fleeting

A/N: I'm true to my word, and I have written the first chapter in record time!!!! (also record length...I do not know how it came out that long) K, just a few WARNINGS...this is rated R for a reason, so if you're planning on flaming me because you think some things in the story are "inapproriate", save yourself the trouble and push the Back button, cuz I've got lots of "inappropriate" things planned. And, for those of you who didn't really like the new, darker Jesse towards the end of Angel Wings, you'll REALLY hate him here.  
  
Enough of my babbling. Hope you enjoy!  
  
Rebirth-Chapter 1  
  
The only sounds in the tiny cell were the incessant drip-drip of leaking water, and the clank-clank of pipes long neglected. The only light was from a single candle, burning itself steadily away, wax dripping onto the wooden table upon which it stood…the only thing that furnished the small stone prison.   
  
There was, however, a single pipe that ran across the ceiling. Not intentionally placed there for my use, of course. Nothing was placed anywhere for my convenience. However, by sheer coincidence, the pipe chose to run through my humble home, and so I made use of it in my spare time. Something to keep my idle mind occupied. They couldn't figure out why my muscle mass, rather than diminishing from disuse, instead kept growing. Growing to the point where they nailed boards across the wooden door for fear that I would just stampede right through it.   
  
They knew if that ever happened, they'd all be dead. It was this cell and its god-forsaken "energy suppression" technology that kept me down. But for all its technology, it still looked like a ####### dungeon from the medieval times.  
  
Currently, I was making use of the pipe, which I had dubbed "The Terminator" (some old movie I saw back when I was still a ghost). My legs were hooked over the pipe, subsequently leaving me hanging down. With my arms crossed over my chest, I timed my crunches to match the drip-drip of the water. I was already on crunch number fifty-two, and still going strong. I did the crunches automatically, without much thought, so as I counted mentally, I closed my eyes and meditated.  
  
And the first thought that found its way into his mind was the memory of the wedding ceremony, if you could even call it that.  
  
"Dammit," I muttered.   
  
It wasn't that the memory hurt. It used to, a long time ago. It used to hurt me to the point of physical pain. To the point of not being able to breathe. To the point of my heart stopping once.  
  
Now, the only thing I feel is the old anger. The helpless rage, the idea of knowing there's nothing I could do.  
  
I wanted revenge. I wanted revenge for what had been done to me.  
  
The poor girl by now had probably been used and abused so many times by now that she didn't care about me anymore. Only revenge. Just like me. We were kindred spirits. Miles apart, tied no longer by love, but by hate.  
  
Hate.  
  
I sped up the pace of my crunches, leaving the drip-drip far behind. Anger fueled my strength. In that moment, I knew I could easily barrel through the door, despite the boards nailed across it. Nothing could stop me now…except a huge mazelike castle and infinite numbers of demons bent on destroying me.  
  
Besides, I was due to die any day now. At least, that's what the little bastard had been telling me once every week for the last-what's it been?-five years? Six? But every time he comes to kill me, he says instead that I've got too high an entertainment factor to kill yet.  
  
Little bastard. Yeah, really little. About a foot shorter than me, with puny muscles. And I'll bet he's smaller in other areas, too.  
  
I grinned at the thought of my utter perfection over him, and slowed the pace of my crunches to once again match the drip-drip.  
  
He would never conquer me. Never break my spirit. You can't break Hate.  
  
Hate is eternal.  
  
I sighed, and stopped the crunching, hanging down from the pipe, feeling the blood rush to my head. Listening to the drip-drip. Listening to the clank-clank.  
  
Just when I was about to pass out, I reached up and grabbed the pipe. Tucking my legs into my chest and away from the pipe, I brought them down, and for a moment just hung there. A stray thought passed through my head, completely out of the blue.  
  
How would she feel if she could see me now?  
  
I'm no idiot. I'm fully aware of my good looks. I knew from the moment I met her that she was in love with my face, however much she denied it. And my abs. I saw her trying to sneak looks at them so many times that I actually felt a subconscious need to work out to keep them that way, even though, being a ghost, I didn't need to.  
  
How would she feel if she could see me now, hanging from this pipe completely nude, muscles even further defined than before, glistening with sweat, doing these strenuous exercises? She'd force herself on me…against the wall.  
  
With a chuckle, I began doing pull-ups. God, I was arrogant. I knew it, and I encouraged it. I knew I was better than everyone else in this stinking place. I knew I was the one who should be the king, not the little bastard. Me!  
  
King Hector the Third.  
  
I threw in "the Third" just because it sounds better.  
  
And then of course her pet name for me would be Jesse…and she would be the only one allowed to call me that…everyone else, "Your Majesty, King Hector."  
  
And the little bastard would be reduced to spending all day doing pull ups in a little room in the basement.  
  
Drip-drip.  
  
Clank-clank.  
  
Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three…  
  
Maybe…maybe I will escape…  
  
It shouldn't be too hard…one of the monks comes by with food, I make like I'm having a seizure or something, he rushes in, I grab him, shatter his stupid porcelain mask to kill him, grab his clothes, and walk out of here with his big, heavy leather cloak thing, so people can't tell it's me.  
  
Then I'll have to find my way out of here. How? The Keepers don't ask for directions. They just glide around like ghosts and try to scare you by looking at you through the bars in the cell door with their creepy masks and doing some Darth Vader breathing noises.  
  
And then the most interesting idea came to my mind, and I smirked at my own genius.  
  
***************************************  
  
I miss the rain. The way it would patter against the window, slowly sliding down… I used to watch him, looking out the window. He had this thing about the rain. He would just stare out at it, like it was the most incredible thing ever. I would lie belly-down on my bed, pretending to read the latest issue of Vogue, but really just watching him, sitting on that bay window, Spike on his lap, just watching the rain…  
  
Then he would notice me watching him, and he would look at me and smile. And my heart would skip a beat.  
  
That never happened anymore.   
  
There wasn't any bay window, no Spike, no rain, no Jesse…  
  
There was this windowless, stone prison.  
  
Sure, it was lavish enough. The sheets were silk, the walls were covered in exquisite paintings. My dresses were any girl's dream, though I really hated having to wear them all the time.   
  
Everyone who sees me goes, "Good day, your Highness," and does anything I tell them to. Does anything I tell them to, but hates me anyway. Because I'm the only angel in the castle. The only one with white wings. And they hold me responsible for that.  
  
No windows, so I can't see the rain…or the sun, or the snow, or the trees. I haven't seen the light of day since my wedding. Trapped in the castle. It's hard to feel trapped sometimes though, since the place is HUGE, and even though it's been seven years, I still get lost.  
  
But times like this, I remember that I'm trapped. Times like this, when I'm sitting in our stadium-sized bedchamber, sitting on our bed, feeling so tiny, feeling so lost in that wide expanse of satin. Shivering in the cold. Naked, waiting for one of the servants to bring a dress for dinner with my husband tonight. Rolling the tiny band between my fingers over and over again, staring at the little stone on it…golden-red, glowing despite the darkness, shimmering mysteriously, reminding me of a time when everything was perfect, when everything was wonderful…  
  
Jesse was dead. Paul had killed him shortly after the wedding, then, in an act of unforeseen sympathy, had let me stay away from him for as long as I wanted, dressing in black, avoiding him, sleeping in separate rooms. Then a month later, I started getting sick, probably from malnourishment, since I wasn't eating, and Paul came to help… Oh, how I hated him. How I still do…the kind of deep-seated hatred that never goes away, always burning quietly, stubbornly, just below the surface.  
  
What he did that night so long ago could have easily passed for rape…if it weren't for the fact that we were married.  
  
But when Rose was born, he didn't force himself on me anymore. Only asked respectfully, and most of the time I would say no. But sometimes, I would just need him. Need him the way any woman with no one to talk to, no one to listen, needs love. And these times, Paul was so gentle, so loving, that it was so easy to close my eyes and pretend he was someone else.  
  
I could never love Paul. Never. I will always be in love with a dead man. And love can't be broken.  
  
Love is eternal.  
  
I just wish…that I could take a walk outside. Paul must have done awful things to humanity, to not even let me look outside. Things he didn't want me or Rose to see. I could only begin to imagine.  
  
The earth was probably now only a great ball of flame, burning brightly forever, Hellish screams throughout. Earth was Hell by now.   
  
I miss my family, and my friends, so much…  
  
But I came to terms with my loss long ago. And now, seven years later, I need to be a pillar of strength, for myself…for my daughter.  
  
"Mommy! Mommy! MOMMY!"  
  
The door banged open, and Rose bounded in happily, her little cherub face lit excitedly, brown hair swaying as she ran as quickly as her stockinged feet would allow. I braced myself, tightened the sheets around my body, and caught her as she lunged at me. Quickly, while she was too busy giggling to look and start asking questions, I thrust the engagement ring under a pillow.  
  
Maybe someday I would tell her about Jesse. But today was not that day.  
  
"Rose," I said in disapproval, "I told you to stop doing that. Here I am waiting for the servants so I can get dressed, and you come in here to bother me. Can you at least wait until I can defend myself?"  
  
But it was so hard to stay mad at her as she gazed down at me with so much love. There was something so comforting and familiar about her dark, kind eyes. Like coming home.  
  
I never would have seen myself as a mother like this. Personally, I never really liked kids. But Rose here…she was the only one I could tolerate. More than tolerate.   
  
Be happy with.  
  
But his royal-pain-in-the-ass wanted a male heir. Too bad. He wasn't getting one. Rose was the only kid I could ever have eyes for.  
  
"Mommy, Mommy, guess what! Guess, guess!"  
  
I sat up with my daughter in my lap, and rocked her slowly back and forth, fingering a loose curl. "Well, can I have a hint before I go off guessing with no leads?"  
  
I relished the bell-like giggle. "Nope, you have to guess all by yourself!"  
  
I pretended to frown at her. "Ummm…aliens? You found aliens in your closet?"  
  
She shook her head so fiercely I thought her head would fall off. She was so fragile looking in her little blue dress and white stockings. Like a glass doll, and I was afraid if I dropped her she would break. But I knew, somewhere in there was great strength. I saw it every time the child-demons wouldn't let her play with them, just because her wings had flecks of white in them. She would never cry, never be hurt in any way. She would shrug, and remind them that she was their princess. And they would mumble some insults, but do whatever she said.  
  
"You found the lost treasure of Lucifer?"  
  
She shook her head again. Why Paul considers tales of Lucifer and his killing and plundering good bedtime stories is WAY beyond me.  
  
"Do you give up, Mommy?" she said, with an almost evil little chuckle at the end.  
  
"Well, I don't think I'm smart enough to think of what it is…"  
  
She crawled out of my arms, and stood over me imperiously. "Darn straight!"   
  
I smiled sweetly at her. "So, what's so exciting?"  
  
"I made a new friend today, down in the dungeons," she said, falling onto the bed, into a sitting position.  
  
A darkness overshadowed my happiness at seeing her. "The…dungeons? I told you to stay out of there, Rose. Why were you there?"  
  
Rose looked down, nervously twiddling her thumbs. "Well…you wouldn't believe me."  
  
"Try me," I said, tightening the sheets again against the sudden chill that seemed to have settled over the room.  
  
Rose looked up, but still avoided my eyes. "…he called me."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"The man. The dark man in the prison. He was calling my name, so I followed his voice down to the dungeon, and…"  
  
"Rose, you spoke to a prisoner?" I said, hands tightening convulsively on the sheets. "There are very dangerous people in there! Why did you go there?"  
  
Rose winced at my shouting. "But-but Mommy! He was very nice! He said he knew you!"  
  
I tried to calm down, taking deep breaths. The last thing I needed was some psycho demon molesting my daughter's mind…well, besides Paul, but he didn't molest Rose's mind. Other people's minds, probably. My mind.   
  
"Okay, Rose," I said, trying to talk normally, though there seemed to be a ball of cotton stuck in my throat. "I want you to tell me the man's name so we can get him away from you."  
  
Hurt instantly washed over her eyes. "You can't take him away, Mommy."  
  
"What was his name, Rose?"  
  
"He…didn't tell me his name."  
  
"You're lying."  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
I looked into her eyes…but I knew what they looked like when she was lying. I knew the defensive slant when she was trying to hide something. Now, there was nothing but open and reluctant truthfulness.  
  
"Then what did he look like?"  
  
Rose looked down, suddenly looking like she was about to cry. "Mommy, he said he wanted to be my friend…"  
  
"Bad people can say a lot of things, Rose," I told her, and I reached a hand out under her chin, and lifted her eyes up to mine. "Now…what did he look like, Rose? You're not in trouble. I just want to keep you safe."  
  
She pulled away from me. I hated to take away her happiness like this, but I needed protect her, no matter what the cost.  
  
"I couldn't see him, Mom. It was dark in the cell."  
  
Mom. That was what she called me when she emotionally detached herself from a situation. Her voice and her eyes were suddenly equally cold, seeming much too old for her seven years.  
  
I matched her coldness to a tee. And suddenly, we weren't mother and daughter. We were wary strangers, speaking in cool and calculating terms.  
  
"What did he say?"  
  
"He…asked me about life at the castle. Wished me a happy birthday…"  
  
She was holding back. I could tell.  
  
"He was very nice. I could see his eyes." She smiled suddenly, almost like a schoolgirl with a crush. "He had very nice eyes."  
  
"Rose…I need to know everything he said."  
  
"He…he…called me…a word I don't understand. I think it was an old human language he said it in…"  
  
"What was the word?"  
  
For some reason, the hairs on the back of my neck were prickling.  
  
"It was…" she was ######## her face cutely, trying to remember. "It was…kedilla. Kedilla. That's it. He called me Kedilla."  
  
The anxiety went away quickly, and I let out the breath I had been holding. Why had I been so anxious?  
  
Suddenly Rose went ramrod still, looking up, fingers curling. Like she was receiving some kind of signal. I reached out for her instinctively, but her next words made my blood run cold.   
  
"Querida," she said quietly. "It was…querida. And…and he said…he said, 'Querida, please tell your mother that I will see her soon.' That's what he said, Mommy. I remember. And…he laughed when he said that."   
  
She shivered ever so slightly. So did I.  
  
The anxiety was back. My heart was in my throat.  
  
He was dead. So many demons could know that word. It was just a word.   
  
Just a word.  
  
"What…" I swallowed, trying to control my trembling voice. "What did he say about knowing me?"  
  
"Nothing," Rose said with a shrug. "Um…just that you were old friends…" She looked up at me, her eyes seeming to see into my mind. "You knew a man who called you querida." She squinted at me, and I suddenly remembered that Paul had begun teaching her to read minds. I threw up a mental defense, but she only squinted harder, and I could feel her mind, like tiny hands, poking through the barrier, trying to get glimpses of a life that was long dead.  
  
"Stop that," I whispered hoarsely.   
  
But she suddenly stopped squinting, and her eyes went wide, like she suddenly understood the secrets of the world. "Ohhhhhh…" she said. "The man in the prison was-"  
  
The door burst open in the crucial moment, and Bonnie came bustling in, her arms full of a bundle of fabric. "Your Highness, I'm so sorry! Paul has come, and he is angry that you are not there! I'm so late…" She trailed off as she spotted Rose sitting on the bed beside me.  
  
It was a little known fact that Rose and Bonnie were mortal enemies, ever since Bonnie had put blue dye in the washing machines as a practical joke, causing nearly every towel in the castle to turn, well, blue.   
  
"Princess Rose," she said stiffly, curtseying. "It's a pleasure to see you."  
  
Rose jumped off the bed and curtseyed gracefully before Bonnie. "Likewise, my underling," she said wisely. "I must be going, however, to meet my father. Please dress my mother nicely…not like that disaster you made her into last night."  
  
Bonnie's teeth clamped together, holding her tongue in her mouth, and I could barely stifle a laugh.  
  
"I'll…do my…best," Bonnie said carefully.  
  
With one last wave to me, Rose left the room quietly, as if she were a dignified queen.  
  
***************************************  
  
Well, Bonnie really had done a good job, dressing me in a sleek, skin-tight black gown that flared at the bottom. She had done my hair up in little braids, wrapping them all over my head until I looked like Medusa…I looked gorgeous. And I hated it.  
  
Dinner with Paul was usually a quiet thing. We sat at opposite ends of the twenty foot table, ate quietly, paid respects, and left. I hardly had any interaction with him at all outside the bedroom…and I'm talking about actual conversation there, not what you people are thinking. After getting to know him…well, I couldn't help but care a little. Never love, of course, and still always hate for what he made me into (a decoration to dangle on his arm at feasts and balls and royal crap like that), but care…just a little.  
  
Sometimes, though, he chose to strike a conversation at dinnertime. And, unfortunately, he chose today to talk…today, when my mind was already a storm of thought about…something else.  
  
"So," he said, his handsome tan face wearing a welcoming smile, "why were you so late today?"  
  
"Bonnie had problems with the washing," I lied easily, without looking up from my dinner. Paul knew I was lying, of course, since my mental barriers were no match for his capabilities.  
  
"Did she?" he said, and I could hear the amusement in his voice.  
  
I glared up at him. "Yes, she did."  
  
He held his hands up in 'backing off' gesture. "Ok, ok, problems with the washing, then."  
  
"And don't even think about reading my mind, or I swear I won't ever talk to you again."  
  
Ahhh…we're such a happy couple, aren't we?  
  
"Well, I'd just like to remind you that I killed Rico Suave six years and eleven months ago."  
  
I nearly choked on my caviar (which is nasty stuff, thank you very much).  
  
Paul didn't look amused any more. "Would you like me to recount how his body was mutilated?"  
  
"I hate you," I said boldly, giving him the iciest glare I possibly could.  
  
"And how many times have I told you to get rid of that ring?"  
  
"I'll never get rid of it, Paul. If you take it from me, I'll kill myself."  
  
That wasn't a bluff. Paul already knew that I was suicidal.  
  
"What a loving mother," he said dryly.  
  
"Just as loving as her father," I replied.  
  
For a long moment, we glared at each other across the table, exchanging silent challenges and promises of revenge. Then Paul spoke again, and the icy indifference was gone, replaced by something more familiar.  
  
"You're my wife now, Suze. I'm just trying to do the best thing for our family."  
  
"We're not a family," I reminded him, picking at my food sullenly. "We'll never be a family."  
  
"Sure we are," Paul said warmly. "Husband, wife, daughter."  
  
"Husband and wife by contract only." I looked up at him. "Forced contract."  
  
"Suze, how many times do I have to remind you how much I love you before-"  
  
"Goddammit Paul!" I yelled, pushing my chair back and standing up shakily. "I wish I never met you! I wish you were never born!"  
  
For a moment Paul looked hurt. Then he recovered and said, "You say that but you don't mean it."  
  
"I mean it with every fiber of my being," I said quietly, and I threw my napkin on the table and stormed out of the room. I couldn't take all his damn cockiness anymore. He has himself convinced that it's only a matter of time before I love him. But he has it all wrong.   
  
It's a matter of time before a come to hate every single aspect of him that I don't already.  
  
As I ran down the hall, furiously knocking people out of my way, I heard Paul calling out from somewhere behind me. Ignoring him, I ran to the only place where I truly ever felt at home.  
  
***************************************  
  
When I entered the nursery, I thought at first it was empty. The lights were off, and everything was eerily quiet, lending all the cute teddy bears and dollhouses therein a quality of malice. I was about to close the door quietly and leave as quickly as I could to look for Rose somewhere else when I was stopped by a quiet voice.  
  
"Mommy?"  
  
I opened the door all the way and looked around. "Rose? Where are you? It's too dark in here…"  
  
I fumbled around for the lights, but I heard a crash to my left and jumped in surprise. It was a priceless porcelain doll, which had fallen from a dresser. Another crash somewhere to my right. I couldn't see what it was, but I could tell it had been worth another million or so.  
  
"Don't turn on the lights, Mommy…"  
  
Another crash.  
  
Okay, I was getting worried now.  
  
"Rose, come out. And stop breaking all your dolls."  
  
The was movement in the corner of the room, and Rose came tumbling out of a pile of pillows. "Mommy!" she cried pitifully as she looked around, dazed.  
  
"Rose," I said quietly, walking forward and picking her up. She latched onto me like she was afraid of something. "What the matter?"  
  
She was shivering. "…Mommy…"  
  
"Rose, what happened?" I rocked her back and forth gently. "Please tell me."  
  
"He was…calling me again…"  
  
That cold feeling came over me again. That fear. That anxiety. Surrounded by the jeering teddies and smashed dolls, the feeling was worse than before. A foreboding feeling of things to come.   
  
Reality suddenly seemed so fleeting.  
  
It would be easy just to tell Rose to take me to him. Just follow her down into the dungeons, right to the cell. But…I couldn't do that. I was scared of what I would see. Amazing…I always thought that given any hope of his life, I would be filled with happiness.  
  
Not this unspeakable dread.  
  
"Querida, querida…" Rose moaned out, her eyes wide and terrified. "Querida, querida…Rosie, Rosie, ring around the Rosie…"  
  
"Rose," I whispered, panic rising. "Rose! Rose, snap out of it!"  
  
She wasn't even aware of me being there anymore. Tears were trembling in her eyes, and she let out a cry of agony. "Black Rose, little black Rose, black like your dear mommy…querida, querida…he won't stop, Mommy, he won't stop--!"  
  
Then she put her hands on her ears and screamed. So loud, so terrifying that I nearly dropped her. But instead I squeezed her to my chest and ran from the forsaken room. Down the hall, towards the medical wing, where the doctors might be able to help. Still screaming, getting steadily louder, running as fast as I could…and then I stopped.  
  
We were alone in the hall. I had never been here before. Never. Somehow, somehow my feet had carried me here, and I knew.  
  
I was standing in front of the door to the dungeons.   
  
I shivered. The doorknob seemed so inviting. I was hearing it now. So faint and far away. So near and dear to my heart. So…horrible…  
  
"Now the big one hears me too…oh, you evil, evil black Rose, you…querida…" Mocking me.   
  
Rose had stopped screaming. Now she was perfectly still in my arms, her ragged breathing not nearly as heavy as my own.  
  
"Why?" I whispered, and I realized just how many things I was asking in that one word.  
  
"Because you're mine, Susannah…"  
  
I wheeled away from the door in horror and turned to run, but I bumped headlong into someone and fell backwards, taking Rose with me. Rose looked up, and screamed. "Mommy, it's him! It's the dark man! Help me, he's going to hurt us! Mommy!"  
  
The figure was tall, covered in shadows, wings outstretched boldly…  
  
And suddenly the shadows melted away, revealing…Bonnie. She was running down the hallway towards us as quickly as she could, carrying a lantern.  
  
"Your Highnesses!" she huffed, coming to a stop in front of us, her servant dress and bonnet in disarray.  
  
"That was him, Mommy," Rose whispered to me. "He was there in front of us, and then he disappeared…"  
  
She was right. I knew she was. I bumped into him. I couldn't have bumped into Bonnie, she was running to us from the other end of the hall.  
  
Why had he scared us like that? What was wrong with him?  
  
"Your Highnesses," she said again. Looking extremely distraught. "I've been looking everywhere for you-"  
  
She bent down and pulled Rose and I to our feet. Then, holding each of our hands, lantern forgotten by the tall, wooden door, she began running again, pulling us along behind her.   
  
"Bonnie!" I said, trying to keep up. She was surprisingly fast. "What's going on!"  
  
"I must get both of you safely into the bed chamber! The King will not be able to join you tonight-" she took a deep breath, "-and he ordered me to get both of you to your bed chamber, and he will post Keepers at your door to guard you."  
  
"Why!" I shouted, already getting tired. Poor Rose was tripping over her feet, not being able to keep up with this pace at all.  
  
Bonnie slowed somewhat, and turned left so we were out of the dungeon hallway. She looked around the deserted hall, making sure it was empty, then she leaned towards me and Rose.  
  
"I'm not supposed to tell you this…but a very dangerous prisoner has escaped from the dungeons. The castle is on high alert. The man is loose in the castle right now, and the King is leading a search for him. Do you understand? We need to get you safely to your bedchambers…he could be anywhere!"  
  
Bonnie then grabbed our hands again and started running again, now at an almost frantic pace.  
  
He was alive…after all these years, he was finally alive…and I was running away from him.  
  
I had never been this scared before in my life.  
  
A/N: K, gave it my best shot, and I worked ####### it. Some of you may be shocked at seeing the bad guy win like that, and seeing Suze with a daughter. But trust me, Suze is not as helpless as she may seem in this first chapter.  
  
And...um...do you see what I mean about Jesse being...different? Well, don't worry too much about that. We'll fix him, lol lol, *cough*...um...anyways...REVIEW, I need opinions here...  
  
TTFN 


	2. Darkness in the Castle

A/N: Hmmm...I got mixed reviews on the first chappy. Well, I do realize that I am trying things out that nobody else has tried yet. And...well, if you stick around long enough, you'll see that I have things planned that Meg Cabot never would have imagined from our wicked little Jesse...*grins evilly*...um, yeah.  
  
Rebirth-Chapter 2  
  
There was an odd murmur, almost like a prayer, hanging in the air. Millions of voices repeating, chanting, in a strange rhythm. I couldn't make out the words to the strange song. I could only see blackness, a cold blackness that surrounded me, seeping into my very core. I was falling through the darkness, arms flailing, trying to catch onto something, wings completely useless. I could see the ground, approaching quickly, coming up to meet my face-  
  
And suddenly, I was just standing there, not falling anymore. The chanting was louder now, accompanied by something else…an eerie choir. Way weird. The chanting was coming from in front of me, and I looked up, and was struck with a horrible déjà vu.  
  
I felt eyes on me. Thousands of eyes. Millions of eyes. An infinite number of eyes. The multitude before me was covered in a shroud of shadow, so I couldn't make out their faces. But I could hear their chanting, and it was making me nervous.  
  
Suddenly, the choir's background singing took the forefront: their voices rose to a glorious pitch, then separated and contorted, sounding like the kind of music you'd get in a horror flick. Reality seemed to warp along with the voices, and I looked behind me, vision blurring. Millions of them, arms raised, praising, cursing, white wings outstretched, looking so terrible and ethereal in an angry, heavenly light.  
  
Light behind me, shadow before me.  
  
I looked away from the sight, back into the shadow. I sucked in a breath of air as I saw the figure that was now leading the multitudes of chanting dark creatures.  
  
Jesse. Jesse, dressed in his old cowboy clothes. The sight almost made me smile, except then I noticed the chains he was dragging along with him…those thick, black chains that looked like they weighed a ton. Walking so slowly, arms outstretched towards me, like a zombie, chanting along with the dark ones, leading the way towards me, the demons following him like a great, black snake. A sickness hit me in the stomach when I looked into Jesse's eyes, and they weren't the expressionless, haunted ones I remembered.   
  
They were angry.  
  
Full of hate, ready to kill, reaching for me, dragging those chains. Chanting getting louder, closer, the angelic choir pulsing in time to the odd rhythm. I backed away slowly, but they pushed me from behind, right into zombie-Jesse's arms.   
  
At first, the arms were stiff, cold, unmoving, then they wrapped around me, pressing me to his chest, and I closed my eyes, thinking, "This is a dream, this isn't real,"…but his arms around me, after so long, felt too real to just be my imagination. I snuggled into his embrace, felt those arms so protective, that warm, solid chest so familiar…  
  
The chanting, the singing was suddenly so sweet and romantic sounding, so welcoming. I lifted my head from his chest, fully intending to give him a kiss filled with all the lost love and passion, but when I opened my eyes, it felt like I had suddenly been plunged into an icy cold bath.  
  
I tried to pull away, but he didn't even seem to feel my efforts, keeping me tight against him. I gave a desperate cry, the voices were warping again, sounding so wicked, the chanting becoming loud again, pumping in my blood…  
  
Jesse was grinning at me, his teeth fang-like, his eyes maliciously leering at me, telling me stories of what he wanted to do to me, pains and tortures he wanted to inflict upon me…he was so darkly beautiful, terrifyingly beautiful, and I was lured towards him at the same time that I was repelled from him.  
  
His hands began moving, touching me softly, sensuously, skimming over my skin and leaving fiery trails where they went. I shivered, suddenly so cold and hot at the same time. Jesse's grin only widened, watching what his touch did to me, his eyes lighting up with excitement, like he was turned on by fear.  
  
I was trapped in the arms of a stranger, with nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.   
  
His hips started moving ever so slightly against mine, thrusting suggestively, in time to the chanting. I swallowed, hard, trying to figure out whether I was afraid, entranced, angry, turned on, or everything at once. Like some strange, sexy dance, moving his body against mine, grinning, eyes sparkling in not-so-innocent joy.  
  
I blinked the tears away from my eyes. "What is it, Jesse?" I said. "Why are you here? What are you…what are you doing?"  
  
Jesse's beautiful, wicked face, came right in front of my face, his nose barely skimming against mine. His eyes that close, his hot breath fluttering over my throat, wings outstretched boldly, in an almost sexual way, swaying, touching…  
  
Then he chuckled. A dark, evil little chuckle, that sent shivers down my spine. So cold, so deep and satanic.  
  
"I'm here for you, querida. You're mine. You always have been…" He closed his eyes, rubbing his face against the crook of my neck, and I leaned my head back and let out a little moan. His scent was so masculine, so powerful… Another dark chuckle.  
  
Then he said it. What the demons were chanting. He said the words clearly, and there was no mistaking them.  
  
"The Queen of Light will fall to the Darkness in her Heart."  
  
My eyes snapped open. Above me, spinning around us like a great tornado, the beings of light were looking down at us, singing, serenading the forsaken lovers below them.  
  
"You are strong, querida," Jesse said, his voice a low, husky rumble. "…but you cannot resist the darkness." He lifted his head again, and looked down into my eyes. Still so dark and wicked, still so beautiful and irresistible. Voice interlaced with another, deeper growl, "You can't resist me."  
  
As he said this, the angelic choir's pitch suddenly rose to an alarming wail, and they grabbed at me, pulling painfully on my hair, my arms, tugging me away from Jesse, and I struggled against them, trying to grab onto Jesse, but he chose that moment to let go of me, and I was sent careening into the darkness of his eyes, his cruel laughter ringing in my ears.  
  
An exotic dance, such as only demons could dance, the chanting, the graceful screeching, falling into oblivion… He was leading them, leading them in the *erotic dance that made me burn with need. Still being carried so far away, and yet I could see them, the shadows, his every suggestive move, swaying, rocking, thrusting in time to the chanting, smiling, smiling…  
  
"The Queen of Light will fall the Darkness in her Heart."  
  
And suddenly, the angels weren't singing, but screaming. Screaming in my ears, so painfully close, and I grabbed my head between my hands and screamed, too…everything blinking in and out of focus, black and white, light and shadow, intermixing, melting, winking…and those eyes, those dark eyes, promising a painful death, hypnotizing-  
  
The screaming…the screaming…!  
  
The screaming-  
  
Someone shaking me. "Your Highness! Your Highness!"  
  
"Mommy! Wake up, Mommy!"  
  
The screaming stopped. And suddenly I was washed with the pale light of a lantern in my darkened bedchambers. Above me, two faces were hovering, peering at me like I could explode at any moment. Rose and Bonnie.  
  
"Queen Susannah…" Bonnnie murmured, and she touched a cool hand to my forehead, which was slick with sweat. I shivered, my entire body feeling cold and clammy in the chilly air of the castle.   
  
I sat up, trembling, looking around to make sure the shadow beings and the screaming angels were gone. Breathing heavily, heart thumping. Shaking.  
  
"Mommy, you were screaming…"  
  
I looked at Rose. The sight of my daughter's face seemed to take away some of the feverish symptoms. Like a light in the darkness, I found the way.  
  
"Rose," I rasped out. "Where was he-"  
  
"I can show you," Rose whispered. "I can take you to him…he's in the deepest part of the cellar, in a tiny room, all by himself…"  
  
"Bonnie," I said, my voice breaking. "Go-get me a glass of water."  
  
Bonnie looked at me dubiously. "Your Highness, I don't want to leave you like this. I'll send one of the Keepers-"  
  
"GO! NOW!" I screamed in her face. Bonnie flew off the bed in shock.  
  
"I…I…" Not knowing what to say, she nodded numbly, and ran from the room.  
  
I turned to Rose. "Take me to him, Rose. I need to know…"  
  
"I know, Mommy," she said, her face serious. "I…I know how you feel about him. I know what happened between the two of you. I…know what Father did to you."  
  
I nodded, and I stretched out across the bed, reaching under a pillow, sixth one from the left, and pulled out the ring. I looked at it for a moment, watching it's mysterious sparkle, its wise glint, as if it held all the answers. Then I slowly slipped it onto the ring finger of my left hand.  
  
In seven years, I had never put it on. I took it off after learning that he was dead, and I never put it back on. Never dared. Always looked at it, admired it, watched it's pulsing glow, remembered happier times, but never put it on.  
  
The donning of the ring was like the ultimate proof that the man I cried for nearly every night…was indeed alive.  
  
Changed, for the worse…but alive nonetheless.  
  
Rose slowly slipped off the bed, and walked towards the door. With her hand on the knob, she looked back at me. "Mommy, how will we get rid of the Keepers?"  
  
I looked up from the ring on my finger, up at my daughter. The fierce determination in her eyes mirrored my own.  
  
"The only way we can, Rose."  
  
I stood up, and walked to the door. "Open it, Rose. I'll take care of everything."  
  
She nodded, and swung open the door.   
  
The two Keepers that had been standing guard turned around to face us, smiling porcelain faces glinting in the light from the torches lining the hallway.  
  
"Your Highnesses," they both said, their snaky, slithering rasps evoking nightmarish memories. "You shouldn't-"  
  
"Shut the *fuck up," I said coldly, and I pulled back both my hands, curled them into fists, and smashed them into their unsuspecting masks, shattering them both, reveling in the feeling I got in kicking bad-guy butt. The shards of glass hung in midair for a moment, then vanished like they were never there, leaving black holes where the horrors of humanity should have been. Then the heavy leather cloaks, which hung suspended in the air, began to collapse, falling slowly, issuing foul-smelling air as they melted into piles of smoking fabric, just like the wicked witch of the west. Before the smell could get unbearable, I grabbed Rose's hand, and ran, tugging her along behind me.  
  
"Wow, Mommy!" Rose gasped out as we ran. "I didn't know you were so cool!"  
  
"Yeah, don't tell your father," I said, and slowed to a stop, looking around. The halls were eerily quiet, not their usual bustling traffic routes.  
  
"Teach me how to punch like that, Mommy!" Rose said, eyes lit up with wonder.  
  
I bent over until I was eye level with her. "Rose, this isn't a game. This is very real, and very dangerous."  
  
Rose's smile vanished slowly, and she nodded.  
  
"Now, Rose…please take me to him."  
  
Rose took my hand in hers, and I gave her tiny hand an encouraging squeeze. "Follow me," she said, and began walking slowly, looking around as she went, remembering landmarks, making turns and going more quickly when she would remember something.  
  
"It's harder when he's not calling me," she informed me as we went. "Cause now I have to remember the way."  
  
I knew what she meant. I remembered how my legs had carried me to the dungeon without me even realizing it.  
  
Rose's memory proved good enough, though, since we soon found ourselves in front of that same door as before, the one that had represented so much to me before, but which now just looked like…a door.  
  
"Rose, it might be dangerous in there…you don't have to come…"   
  
Rose's grip on my hand tightened. "I'm coming, Mommy. Besides, I don't want to be alone in this creepy hallway. I don't even think I can find my way back…"  
  
I put my hand on the knob, and took a deep breath. "I'll protect you," I said, and I turned the knob. The door swung open easily, revealing complete blackness. Like the open mouth of a dragon.  
  
"I know the way," Rose said quietly. "I remember. Don't worry. Just follow me."  
  
Holding my hand tightly, she walked into the darkness, and I followed just behind her. Slowly, as we went, a faint light permeated the air, and I could see that we were in a very narrow passage. The stone walls were slick and grimy-looking, and the ground was covered in what I hoped was just water. Rose began walk quicker, and I jogged to keep up with her. She seemed to glow just in front of me, almost like the light was coming from her.  
  
All this weird symbolism about "light and shadow" was starting to make my head spin.  
  
Then we came into a huge room. The ceiling was so high that I couldn't make it out. The walls were covered in heavy-looking wooden doors, each one of them locked with a heavy padlock, tiny barred slits in each. For a moment, we paused and just stood there, looking around. It didn't look like there was anywhere else to go.  
  
"This isn't where he was," Rose said, her voice echoing in the room. An eerie silence followed her statement. Then there was a low chuckle right behind us. I whirled around, but there was no one there. Only wooden, locked doors.   
  
From somewhere across the room came a catcall.  
  
"Rose, where is it? Hurry, we need to get out of here…"  
  
"Oh, look!" came a loud croak, almost like a toad's voice. "The Queen and the Princess have come to visit us!"  
  
"The little one's seeexy," came a young sounding purr to our left.  
  
"Help me! Someone, please! I'm innocent!" came frantic cries from somewhere else.  
  
"Rose…" I started to pull her out of the room of perverted prisoners, but she was suddenly walking forward, and I had no choice but to follow her.  
  
"Hey, sugar," came a sadistic woman's voice, "Kill him in his sleep and take his money, that's what I did."  
  
Someone cackled evilly from above us.  
  
Suddenly the room was alive with the cruel laughter, whoops, and whistles of seemingly thousands of prisoners. I realized that the doors must have continued to rise up along the walls, going for miles upward, stretching the length of an entire tower, spiraling upwards…  
  
Rose seemed unaffected my some of the truly gruesome things the prisoners were calling out. She was on her knees, fumbling along the floor, looking for something. Then she smiled triumphantly, and grabbed something: a handle. She pulled upward. A trapdoor creaked upwards, a few inches, and she struggled to pull it up the rest of the way. I rushed over, grabbing the handle and pulled along with her. With a groan, it swung open.  
  
"It was already open last time I came here," Rose said, swinging her legs over the opening confidently, and starting to climb down a ladder that was nearly invisible in the darkness. I peered down at the blackness, into which Rose was fast disappearing.   
  
"Hurry up, Mommy," she said, her voice sounding metallic. I looked around, shivered, and lowered myself into the hole. The ladder felt slippery and cold, hard to hold onto. I looked up one last time, and flipped the bird to the prisoners angrily. When I did so, the entire place roared to life in laughter.  
  
"Jerks," I muttered, and started feeling my way down the rungs of the ladder. The moment my head cleared the trapdoor, it swung abruptly shut with a VERY loud bang, like a shot gun, throwing us into utter and inky blackness, and I heard someone below me cry out in panic and slip.  
  
"Rose!" I called out in panic. "Are you ok?"  
  
"I'm fine, Mommy!" she called out. Her voice sounded miles away. "I'm at the bottom! Hurry up!"  
  
I started going down, slipping occasionally, but going as fast as I could. I didn't want to have Rose all alone down there. I should have gone down first. But I stupidly let her go before me.  
  
The farther I went, the more I could see. A warm, yellow light became visible, and I could suddenly see Rose's innocent and worried face, peering up at me. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, my feet touched down on solid ground. Not just solid, but dry and firm. I looked around. We were in a tiny room, lit by torches all around, much more welcoming than the cold, dark room above.  
  
A single door stood ajar. A wooden door, like the ones above.  
  
The door to his cell.  
  
I swallowed, and looked around more closely. The room we were standing in now had some weird furniture in it…a chair with…straps on it…a table, with…tools on it…  
  
The coldness swept over me again. I saw those thick chains again, the anger in his eyes…  
  
I slowly walked towards the chair. Nothing too special about it…cold metal, covered in chains…  
  
Then I looked at the table. Almost like an operating table. One of the tools looked like a headset, except it had what looked like nails sticking out of it…another was a long, odd shaped needle thing…various knives of all shapes and sizes…  
  
I didn't need to look any closer to know that the reddish stains on them weren't rust.  
  
I backed away in disgust. Suddenly I could hear his screams in my head…  
  
Rose was behind me, watching me sadly. "Did you know about all of this?" I said.  
  
She nodded slowly. "I read his mind. That was when I was in my room…it was scary. I could see Father, hear him laughing, the things he said…and I felt his pain, and I…I hated you just like him. I love you, Mommy, but…I felt his hate."  
  
I nodded, not knowing what to say. My bones felt so cold. Had he been right here all along? While I was up there in that gorgeous and lavish castle, being catered to and served, had he been down here in this hell within Hell? In this world of pain and loneliness?  
  
I took a deep breath, and approached the open door to his cell. Rose took a step to follow, but I stopped her. "You stay here, Rose."   
  
She nodded, and I went to the door, and looked in.   
  
It was a tiny room. Almost like a walk-in closet. How could anyone live here? There was nothing…except a small wooden table that looked like it was on its last legs. On the table was a candle, still burning steadily. Other than that, nothing. No bed, sink, toilet…just a pipe that hung from the ceiling, and ran from one side of the room to another.  
  
I slowly stepped over the threshold, and immediately the warm dryness of the floor was gone. The ground was wet and cold. I took another step in, and I was in the middle of the room. The walls seemed to be caving in on me. This was such an awful place.  
  
Clank-clank.  
  
Drip-drip.  
  
Since there was nowhere else to go, I went to the wooden table. The wax from the candle was oozing all over the table, and the flame would burn out soon. But there was still enough light to tell that the table was covered in carvings.  
  
I picked the candle off the table with some effort, since it was sticking to the surface, then started scraping the excess wax off the wood. When I had gotten most of it off, I leaned over until I was an inch from the table, struggling to make out the carvings in the dim light. The table was a mess…lines and scratch marks everywhere, but I could just make out one word…  
  
SUSANNAH  
  
That was it…my name, written over and over again, all over the tabletop, scratched into it with a fingernail or a small rock.   
  
Then gouged and scratched away by huge, angry claw marks, as if by an animal.   
  
I backed away from the table quickly, and swallowed, rubbing the ring on my finger subconsciously. The candle did nothing to ward away the dark and the cold. Then I began noticing all the little details, almost like someone was pointing them out to me…the way the pipe was all dented in the middle, the way the walls had so many spots where they were crumbling away, like someone had punched them in…the way the door looked so banged up, the boards that had held it shut scattered across the floor…  
  
"Mommy?" Rose said from the entrance.  
  
I turned to look at her, and the tears that had been threatening to come, finally fell out. "He was here. Right here…the whole time."  
  
Rose was silent.  
  
"Oh…oh, I'm gonna kill Paul. I'm gonna rend him limb from limb…strap him to this chair, and do all those awful things to him that he did to Jesse…" My hands were balled fists at my sides, and I was struggling with this incredible denial that was wracking my body. "I hate him…every aspect of him…took away my life once, and now he's done it again…"  
  
I stormed passed Rose, back to ladder. "Come on, Rose."  
  
She followed obediently. I wondered briefly how she felt hearing her mother say those things about her father. But I forgot that thought as we started climbing up the ladder.  
  
I was furious. This anger boiling in my blood rivaled anything I had ever before experienced, and that was saying a lot. I felt like I could crush iron in my grip, and you know, maybe I could. I'm not an average human, after all. I'm an angel. And Paul was about to get a dose of my heavenly wrath.  
  
When we got back to the bedchamber, Bonnie was sitting on the bed, bawling her eyes out, holding the two Keepers' cloaks to her chest.  
  
"Bonnie?" I said carefully, and she started, looked at us, blinked in disbelief, and flung herself at our feet with a cry of joy.  
  
"Oh-oh, your Highnesses! I'm so happy! I thought you were gone forever! The King would have killed me-"  
  
Paul. The sadistic bastard.  
  
"We're okay, Bonnie, now get up and quit groveling," I said angrily.   
  
She blinked up at me in surprise. I never used that tone with her. "…huh?"  
  
"You heard me," I said, and I walked around her and sat on the bed. "I want you…to call me Suze."  
  
Her mouth opened in horror. "SUZE?!?! But you are the QUEEN-"  
  
"Yes, and I order you to call me Suze," I said, looking down at the ring. "And quit serving me…so devoutly. I can do things by myself. Like putting my clothes on. I totally do NOT need your help to dress myself, thank you very much-"  
  
Bonnie let out a nervous laugh. "Your Highness-" With an icy glare from me, she quickly corrected herself. "Um-Suze…you are starting to speak like a street demon…queens do not say, 'totally' in that manner…"  
  
"Ah, shut up," I said, and Bonnie was shocked into silence. "I'm sick of being a stupid queen, I'm sick of all this proper grammar crap, and really-is it too much to ask to be able to be BY MYSELF for just one F*CKING MINUTE?!?!?!"  
  
Then I remembered that Rose was there, and she had been hearing things from me all day that seven-year-olds shouldn't hear. But she was smiling proudly at me.  
  
Bonnie stumbled to her knees, jittering nervously. "Yes, your Highness-r-ight away y-your High-ness-" And she flew out of the room like a chicken on fire.  
  
"Darn straight!" Rose said.  
  
I smiled at her. "Rose dear…it's not 'darn straight'…it's 'damn straight'."  
  
We exchanged conspiratorial looks.  
  
"So what now, Mommy? Do we run away and join a circus?"   
  
Well, at least one of us was enjoying herself.  
  
"No, Rose…I'm not sure what to do." I sank back onto the bed. "Maybe we should find Jesse first…"  
  
"How?" Rose said. "Where do we start?"  
  
"Well," I wondered aloud, "He's loose in the castle, sooo…well, he's still here, at least. But I don't know where we should start…"  
  
"I'll check my room!" Rose said excitedly, running towards the door. "Then I'll check the west towers, and the art rooms, and-"  
  
"You're not going anywhere by yourself, Rose," I said, standing up quickly.  
  
She groaned, looking at me with puppy-dog eyes. "Mommy!" she whined. "Please? I can take care of myself! And besides, if I find him, he won't hurt me!"  
  
"How do you know?" I said, hands on my hips, the spitting image of an annoying mother.  
  
Rose sighed with exasperation. "Because, Mommy-I saw his thoughts, remember? He has no intentions of hurting either of us. He just wants…"  
  
"What?" I encouraged. "He wants what?"  
  
"Well, he kind of just…needs someone to talk to," she said, turning back towards the door. "He'd prefer you, though, but he doesn't mind me." She giggled. "He thinks I'm cute!"  
  
Then she was out the door, before I could stop her, and it was closing behind her. I had half a mind to follow her out, but then I figured, she's right. If anything, Jesse would protect her, not harm her. He was different, that was true, and who wouldn't be after what Paul did to him…but his core was still the same. He would always be the same person inside. I knew that for a fact, and I trusted him.  
  
So I sat back down on the bed with a sigh, rubbing the ring again. It felt good to be wearing it again. Really good. If I got to see Jesse again, I wanted to show him that I'm wearing it. Just in case he had any ideas that I was, you know, in love with Paul or anything stupid like that. Which I'm not. I'm as far from love as its possible to be. I don't even care anymore, which I did a little before. No, I don't care if Paul is hundreds of times stronger than me…I'm gonna kill him. And anyway, I'm an angel right? I'm an angel, and he's a stupid demon. Angels are stronger than demons. Angels are supposed to be able to kill demons easily.   
  
Right?  
  
Right.  
  
Paul is so totally dead. I'll make him wish he never even looked at me…and all those other times I tried to kill him, they don't count. This time, its not going to be a spur-of-the-moment decision. It will be a carefully planned and thought-out murder. And it will work.   
  
Paul will die.  
  
And then I'll find Jesse, and…and…  
  
And what?  
  
"Dammit, this is so complicated," I murmured. I lifted a hand and ran my fingers through my hair. I had to think of a good way to kill Paul, to reek revenge on him for both me and Jesse…  
  
That was when I heard it.  
  
That heavy Darth Vader breathing.  
  
I sat up quickly. I knew the Keepers were here to protect me, but they were still just so…creepy. Besides, I just killed two of them…this could easily be one of their brothers or something, here to get revenge.  
  
The Keeper was in the shadows, cloak wrapped tightly around him. He was an odd one though…he was the only one I had ever seen who kept his cloak pulled down over his face. Every one of them I'd ever seen before had there masks out in the open, adding further creepiness, but this one…for some reason, not seeing the mask was further unsettling.  
  
"Yes?" I said.   
  
The Keep just stood there, breathing heavily. The breathing seemed weird, too…more exaggerated, like it was trying to be scary on purpose. And it was exactly as cold and chilling as it usually seemed. It just wasn't scraping at the inside of my head the way it normally does…  
  
"Hello, anyone home?" I said nervously. "Yoo-hoo? Can I help you?"  
  
Nothing. Except…the breathing got heavier.  
  
I stood up, getting angry. "Okay, mister, this isn't funny. What the hell are you doing here?"  
  
The breathing got heavier and more ragged, like it was turned on by fear.  
  
Then I remembered the dream…no. No way.  
  
I smiled coyly at the Keeper, trying to mask my fear, and probably failing miserably. "Hey, mister evil-Kepper-thingy, guess what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna kill your king! That's right, I'm gonna murder him in cold blood, because I really hate him! Now, run along, and go tell your buddies."  
  
Still the same heavy breathing. Except it made an odd hiccupping sound, almost like it was trying not to laugh.  
  
"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" I was starting to get pissed off. This was someone's idea of a practical joke. I hadn't even heard the door open or close. The freak was just…here.  
  
I took a bold step forward. The maybe-Keeper just kept breathing. Another step, a little less boldly.  
  
"Okay, if this is a some kind of joke, really, it's just not funny anymore."  
  
The Keeper-thing just stood there, facing me, the place where its face should be a dark, gaping hole, like a giant mouth, I thought with a shudder.  
  
"K, this is so totally not cool," I muttered, and, summoning all my courage, I walked right up to the Keeper, right up to its face, glaring boldly into the black hole in the cloak. Afraid to pull it down. Afraid of what I might see.  
  
"Show yourself," I hissed at it. But of course, my only answer was the heavy breathing.  
  
It was pretty tall for a Keeper, I thought uneasily.  
  
I don't know what made me do it. A sudden burst of adrenaline, maybe, that just forced my hand to grab the hood and pull it down. All I know, is that when I pulled it down, I found myself face-to-face with those dark, angry eyes and that almost savage grin…the dark, hauntingly beautiful face I had dreamed of for seven years…  
  
A/N: Yippee!!!! The lovers reunited, after seven lonely years!!!! How romantic!!!!! And disturbing!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!  
  
TTFN 


	3. The First Meeting

A/N: I'm glad you guys are enjoying my story!   
  
QUICK NOTE: I think there was a problem with the last chapter. Cuz when I went on it to check it it came out alright, there was an odd part...it skipped from Suze and Rose going down the ladder right to the scene where they've already come back from the dungeons, completely skipping the scene where Suze finds Jesse's cell! I don't know itf anybody else experienced this problem, but I reposted that chapter, so the problem should be fixed if you did. So you may want to check back, cuz you may have missed a big, important section of chapter 2.  
  
Rebirth-Chapter 3  
  
A million different things to say, perfect for this situation, raced through my head. Famous phrases, statements from my heart, tear-jerking recounts of how much I've missed and loved him since his "death". But for some reason, my mouth wasn't functioning properly, and all that came out was, "Oh."  
  
Ok, Susannah Simon, how lame can you get? I mean… Oh. OH! Now what the hell is Jesse thinking?  
  
Jesse nodded, like he was agreeing with me on something. "Oh to you, too."  
  
I could have laughed. I could have cried. I could have leaped into his arms. But I did neither. Because though the grin was gone, his eyes still had that angry look in them. It was disconcerting, to say the least. I took a quick moment to do a once over of his face, since that's all I could see of him right now. He looked…more rugged, somehow. His face more angular, more confident…and the way his gaze was boring into me only added to his dark appeal.  
  
For a moment we just stood there staring at each other. Then Jesse went, "So, is that all you're going to say to me, querida?"  
  
He said 'querida' mockingly, sarcastically. The love was gone from the word.  
  
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Well, what was with that stupid Keeper act? You and your breathing…freaking the hell out of me…" I continued muttering darkly under my breath, until I was interrupted by a very welcome sound.  
  
Jesse let out a bark of laughter, and grabbed me around the waist, pulling me into him. Even through the heavy leather, I could feel his muscles. So hard and masculine.  
  
"Susannah," he said, eyes amused, "I was just playing a little game…" He reached up a hand and gently pushed a stray lock of hair out of my eyes. "…with your mind…"  
  
I shuddered. If he felt it, he gave no sign that he had. Unless you could count tightening his grasp on me as a sign. And not in a comforting way, mind you.  
  
"Why…" I swallowed, breathing quickening beneath his still savage stare. This moment was not going the way I had always seen it. "Why were you messing with Rose's mind? What did she ever do to you, Jesse?" My tone was cold and defiant.  
  
Jesse immediately loosened his grip on me, and scowled at me. "His daughter," he said sullenly.  
  
"Yes, and she can't help that," I said in clipped tones.  
  
"But you could have," Jesse said pointedly.   
  
"How?"  
  
Jesse was silent. He stared at me with blank, dead eyes. Never had his eyes been that way…even when he was "expressionless"…his eyes had never been quite so empty and cold. That, in itself, was an expression of the unfathomable tortures he must have endured.  
  
After a tense moment of each of us daring the other to say something, Jesse's face cracked into a smile. A genuine-looking smile, but who knew.  
  
"We've been separated for a long time, Susannah. Are we going to jumpstart our relationship with a fight?"  
  
Relationship?  
  
"Um-" I managed to get out before Jesse's smile went evil on me again, and he started backing me up, arms tightening around me, towards the bed. Panic rising…not because of what I could only guess he was intending to do with me, but because of the truly angry joy I saw on his face, just like the dream, like he was reveling in my fear.  
  
"What are you-"  
  
But he pushed me roughly onto the bed. Before I could sit up and protest, he was straddling me, holding my wrists down, grinning at me from his superior position. His cloak had fallen open a little near the top, just enough to let me see that he wasn't wearing a shirt, and to reveal a few black feathers near his shoulders, where his wings were tucked tightly at his back. I hoped to God that he was at least wearing something over the lower half of his body. He leaned over until we were nose to nose.   
  
"Why, I'm jumpstarting our relationship, your Highness. Might as well start out with a bang, eh?" He chuckled evilly.  
  
"Jesse, I don't want to do this," I said, not bothering to struggle or anything, but facing him point-blank and telling him bluntly. "…not like this."  
  
"Then how? Against the wall?" And he lifted me by the arms, and slammed me up against the wall. Not painfully, but just enough to jar my senses a little. Still holding my wrists above my head.  
  
Ok…this was scary.  
  
"Jesse, why are you angry at me? What did I do!" I wailed pitifully. I didn't care that I sounded whiny. This was just so totally wrong. So wrong.  
  
"You f*ucked him," Jesse hissed. "And…you enjoyed it."  
  
I shut my eyes, numbly shocked at the bluntness of his words. "I didn't-"  
  
He pushed his body onto mine, so I was completely sandwiched between him and the wall, squeezed uncomfortably.  
  
"Yes, you did," I heard him breathe into my face. His breath was hot and almost burned. Then he nuzzled his nose against my cheek, and whispered quietly, almost lovingly, "*Whore."  
  
I whimpered pathetically, and the tears finally fell from my eyes. I sobbed loudly, trying to hold it in, not wanting to give him the pleasure…but I was bawling my eyes out a second later. Because of what he said…and because of what could have been, and what was.  
  
Jesse pulled me away from the wall, into him, again…let me lean against him, crying and sobbing into his shoulder, not knowing why, since he was the one who made me cry to begin with. I hadn't cried this hard, since…  
  
He was rubbing his hands soothingly over my back, massaging gently through the sheer material. "Shhh…" he said gently. "That's right…cry out the pain…"  
  
Cry out the pain? CRY OUT THE PAIN?????  
  
Then I felt him slowly entering…my mind. Feeling around carefully, poking at memories, examining thoughts. It was like being raped.  
  
I shuddered and pulled away from him angrily, holding my arms around myself to ward away the chill. "You-" I began, but there was a knock at the door.  
  
I gasped, looked around quickly, spotted the walk-in closet, and headed for it, grabbing Jesse's arm and pulling him along. I opened the door, and shoved him in. "Stay still and shut up," I said coldly. "Unless you want to go back to that tiny room," I added for effect.  
  
Jesse didn't say a word, watching me with an inscrutable gaze. I slammed the door in his face.  
  
"Why oh why did I ever fall in love with that guy?" I muttered to myself as I flopped onto the bed, and curled into a ball.  
  
"Come in," I said in a voice heavy with sadness.  
  
I heard the door open, but since I was facing away from it, I didn't know who it was until he spoke.  
  
"Suze?" came Paul's voice.  
  
There was a slight rustle from the closet, but before Paul could think of investigating, I let out a loud sob, and sat up to face him. Paul's eyes widened in concern in seeing my red eyes, so obviously having been crying recently. "Suze…what…"  
  
I ran into his arms, drawing him into a huge bear hug. "Oh, Paul…I was so worried!" I wailed loudly, pouring it on as thick as I could.  
  
"Oh," Paul said with a smile. He wrapped his arms around me protectively…much more lovingly then Jesse had done a minute ago.  
  
For a moment…one horrible moment of burning anger…I thought of turning him in.  
  
Calm down, Suze…the guy hugging you right now? Yeah-he's the one that totally corrupted Jesse. It's all Paul's fault…  
  
"Don't worry, Suze," Paul said gently. "We'll catch him, nothing will happen to you, or…" He lifted his head then, and looked around. "Where's Rose?" he asked.  
  
Thinking quickly… "That's just it, Paul! She didn't know about the dangerous man loose in the castle, and she ran out while I was taking a nap…"  
  
I watched in satisfaction as Paul's eyes widened in panic. "Where's Bonnie?"  
  
"Apparently," I went on, spinning lies quickly in my head, "Rose sent Bonnie out for milk, and that's when she got out. I told her last week about how breaking the Keepers' masks kill them, you know, in case one ever went mad and attacked her or something, so that must be the only explanation as to how she got past them…Bonnie's out looking for her now." I sobbed again. "But-oh, Paul-I'm so scared!"  
  
Paul swept me up, and placed me carefully on the bed. "Don't worry," he said, like a knight in shining armor. "I'll send up two more Keepers. And I will find our daughter."  
  
He kissed me chastely on the forehead, and turned around and left the room. I just lied there on my back for a second. Then I said in monotone, "Come out."  
  
The closet doors burst open, and Jesse came stumbling out, looking annoyed. He muttered something in Spanish that I couldn't quite catch, and couldn't quite care less.  
  
Still staring at the ceiling, I continued in my flat voice, "Get out, Jesse. Get out of my room, and get out of my life. I never want to see you again."  
  
The moment he left, I was going to start crying hysterically.  
  
There was a moment's silence, then footsteps coming towards me. He stood beside the bed, then kneeled on the floor, so we were almost eye-level. But I refused to look at him. I could feel him watching me. Seeing into me.  
  
"He told you I was dead," Jesse said quietly.  
  
"Of course he did," I said tonelessly.  
  
"He raped you," Jesse said, "the night Rose was conceived."  
  
"Thanks for reminding me," I said, not letting the hurt crawl into my voice.  
  
"You cried for me…" There was a long pause. "I might have jumped to conclusions," Jesse said finally.  
  
"You've forgotten, Jesse," I whispered.  
  
"I've forgotten what, Susannah?"  
  
I turned towards him slowly, and I almost cried out as my heart twisted at the absolute indifference in his face.   
  
"You forgotten…" I lifted my left hand, and held it in front of his face. "…us."  
  
Jesse's eyes focused on the ring on my finger. His brows rose in recognition. He stared at it a moment longer, then said coldly, "What a pretty piece of jewelry."  
  
"You know damn well what that is," I said, my voice cracking. I pulled the ring off my finger, picked up Jesse's hand, and pressed it into his palm. "I don't want it anymore," I said icily, and I turned away from him.  
  
If that was really hurt that I had seen play over his face, I didn't care.  
  
"Susannah-" he began.  
  
"I believe I told you to get out, Jesse," I said.  
  
"I refuse to leave until I've said what I came here to say."  
  
"Well, here's what I have to say, you egotistical bastard," I said.  
  
And I sat up, and screamed.   
  
******************************************  
  
I was seconds away…from begging her forgiveness. All this time, I thought she hadn't cared, that she had used me…but then I realized I was just being stupid. I knew Susannah well enough to know she would never be that low. And this was the same girl I once knew…only more matured, and much more beautiful. I had seen into her mind, and she was as tormented as me.  
  
Seconds away from asking her to leave the castle with me, to run away from this awful place, and take her daughter if she wished…  
  
I don't know why I reacted so coldly to the engagement ring. Maybe because it brought back so many bad memories. But I shouldn't make excuses for the way I treated her. There is no excuse.  
  
And maybe I kind of deserved it when she screamed. An ear-splitting sound, full of rage and sadness, reaching into my chest and twisting my heart. For a moment, I was in love with her again. I wanted to take her in my arms, cradle her like a child, comfort her, tell her how I felt, make her forget the darkness in my heart.  
  
But then the door swung open, and my blood ran cold as two tall, robed figures, masks laughing at me, glided in.  
  
I could have destroyed them. It was so easy. I could have shattered both masks with a flick of my wrists, then taken off. But the strength seemed to have left me. It was still there, I just…didn't feel like using it. Didn't feel like living anymore.  
  
I looked back down at Susannah, who was staring at me miserably, looking like she hated herself. I gave her a glare that momentarily paused her shuddering sobs, then I slowly stood up to face the Keepers. The ring was still clutched in my hand, I realized. Should I keep it? Throw it on the floor and spit on it?  
  
That was when I felt her delicate hands around mine. Around the one holding the ring. She was looking at me with so much sorrow, I almost smiled. Almost.  
  
"I-I'm so sorry…" she whispered. "I'm an idiot…"  
  
"Yes you are," I said, and I pulled my hand away from hers. She fell back onto the bed with a sob, where she turned away, curled up in a pathetic little ball.  
  
Good. No remorse.  
  
It was then that I felt the Keeper's strong grips on me. They grabbed each of my arms, pulling me forward roughly, and I followed without struggle. What was the use? If it wasn't them, it would eventually be the little bastard himself. They had their ways, and it wouldn't matter how strong I was when it was me versus millions of demons…like last time.  
  
But…why did I feel so weak? Like I just didn't care about escaping anymore? It had been all I could think about, before I came to this room…now, I can't think of anything.  
  
So empty inside. A void.  
  
Was it because of her? God, I hate her. Next time, if ever, we meet, I swear I'll kill her. And her little brat, too. Well, maybe I'll spare the brat. I won't spare Susannah, though. Or…maybe I'll just maim her. Or, break a bone. Um…ok, how about I settle for just pulling her mind apart, and destroying her emotionally. That wouldn't be hard at all.  
  
As I was thinking this, the Keepers had already pulled me out of the room, and I realized I was still tightly clutching the ring. Oh, well…I guess I'll just hold onto it.  
  
I was dragged through the familiar hallways, to the dungeon door, through the room of howling prisoners (I knew them well…most of them expressed their remorse at my not escaping. They were good people.), and back down the ladder.  
  
It was when we finally touched down on the familiar tiny room that I realized something was definitely wrong.  
  
There was no one here. No one waiting to tranquilize me, and throw me into the prison. The little bastard wasn't here. The guard demons. The High Keepers. Nobody. Just me and these…Keepers?  
  
"What's going on?" I said as they both let go of me.   
  
One of them pulled down their hood, and unceremoniously pulled off the mask. No…no. An illusion. It couldn't be…  
  
"F-Father-Dom-" I stammered out.  
  
He smiled and put a hand on my shoulder. "It's good to see you again, Jesse."  
  
I couldn't believe. I just couldn't. It was like I was in the Twilight Zone. It became even stranger when the other "Keeper" took off the mask. I squinted at the girl. She seemed so familiar…long, blonde, almost white hair…very white skin…bright, purplish eyes…  
  
"You're…Susannah's friend," I said finally.  
  
She grabbed my hand and shook it enthusiastically. "The name's Cee Cee," she said, her face straight and businesslike.   
  
"Oh," I said weakly. I looked from one to another…Father Dominic looking no older than the last time I had seen him, and Susannah's friend looking…quite beautiful, actually…in complete and utter disbelief. "This is a dream," I concluded finally.  
  
Father Dominic chuckled warmly. "No, Jesse…we've been planning to get you out for a while now, ever since we found out you were still alive."  
  
The girl-Cee Cee-had walked to a corner of the room, and was now feeling around on the ground, as if looking for something.  
  
"What's going on? You're…getting me out?"  
  
Father Dominic nodded. "Yes, everything will be explained later. Right now, though, we have to get out of here as quickly as possible."  
  
Cee Cee apparently found what she was looking for, and pulled up, revealing yet another trap door. This one apparently hidden, even from the little bastard.  
  
"All aboard," she said with a smile, and she began climbing down.  
  
Father Dominic gave me a gentle push from behind, towards the door.  
  
"Wait," I said, turning to face him. "You're a priest, and I'm a demon. This doesn't make any sense." I stepped away from him slightly.  
  
Father Dominic's eyes were lit with good humor. "Well, I've come to accept certain things, Jesse. The existence of things that I had previously thought impossible. I've gone through…a transformation, if you will." He looked thoughtful, then said, "I might as well tell you the basics, then…Cee Cee and I are two of the leading officers of a rebel army, called S.H.I.T."  
  
I snorted. "S*hit?"  
  
"It was Cee Cee's idea. It stands for, 'Susannah's Hell-Inspired Tirade'."  
  
"Oh," I said weakly. "…well, then…shouldn't you be freeing Susannah?"  
  
Father Dominic shook his head. "No…she must leave of her own free will. If we were to pull her out, she would die. It has to do with the bond she has with the Dark King."  
  
I slowly started walking towards the trapdoor. "So…"  
  
"There is, however, the little matter of you and Paul being…so closely connected."  
  
"Ah, yes…how unfortunate for me," I said with a scowl, climbing down the ladder, into the darkness below.  
  
"Oh, no…it's actually quite fortunate for you," Father Dominic said, as he began going down the ladder after me.  
  
"How so?"  
  
"Well…you and Paul, sharing a soul…means that you are also bonded to Susannah in much the same way as Paul."  
  
I nearly fell off the ladder.  
  
"In other words," he continued, oblivious of my shock, "She is as much your "wife" as Paul's."  
  
I was suddenly aware of the ring I was still holding in my hand. Very aware.  
  
"And you didn't look like you were treating her very nicely in there…"  
  
"You looked like the biggest jerk in the world!" Cee Cee called up from somewhere below us. "I mean, really…all the crap she's gone through for you, and you go in there and make her cry like that…God, I really hope she gets out of there soon."  
  
"I didn't know…" I said uncertainly, but I was rudely cut off.  
  
"She loves you," Cee Cee said. "If you can't see that, then you're an idiot, and you don't deserve her."  
  
I was mildly surprised by her boldness. But despite the truth of her words, I still resented Susannah…I just wasn't sure why. Anyway, it was much too late to make amends. I doubted I'd ever see her again. I probably scarred her for life.  
  
My feet then touched solid ground. I let go of the ladder, and looked around. It was pitch black, but I could see easily. We were in a long tunnel. Cee Cee was ahead of us, feeling her way down the narrow passage.  
  
Behind me, Father Dominic said quietly, "You shouldn't be angry at Susannah. Don't resent her for things she can't control."  
  
I walked forward as if I couldn't hear him. I was still waiting for the guilt to come, but it just wouldn't. Was I that insensitive? Seven years ago…I would have been any woman's dream of chivalry and lovingness. But now, I was dark and unworthy. I was ashamed of myself.  
  
"I'm done with her. Paul can have her," I said quietly.   
  
Father Dominic said nothing.  
  
This would be the perfect place to drop the ring and forget it. But my hand wouldn't seem to open.  
  
Cee Cee had opened a door near the end of the tunnel. Through it, moonlight was filtering. Real moonlight. From outside.  
  
I was free.  
  
So why did I feel so horrible?  
  
A/N: Well, whoever said their first meeting would be a pleasant one? Well, REVIEW...and tell me if you did get that problem with chapter 2, because it disturbed me that some of my hard work was cut out.  
  
TTFN 


	4. Freedom

A/N: Does anyone besides me think I'm popping these chappies out almost too quickly? Anybody? Well...I'll be slowing down now, because...ha ha, school starting. So expect me to be my old, not-so-quickly updating self soon.  
  
Rebirth-Chapter 4  
  
I trapped again in the dark swirl of light and shadows, of strangely compelling and disturbing demon dances. I was drowning in his eyes. It was the same dream, playing over and over again in my head for the last week, ever since I betrayed him. Only…he hated me so much more. And I hated myself, too.  
  
"The Queen of Light will fall to the Darkness in her Heart."  
  
I was pulled from the nightmare, sweaty and tangled in the satin bed sheets, by a gentle shake.  
  
"Suze," he was whispering through the darkness. "Suze, wake up."  
  
I opened my eyes, and it took a minute to realize that I was back in reality. And that the face hovering in my field of vision was looking at me with concern, not disgust.  
  
"You were having that nightmare again, weren't you?" Paul said, his hand softly massaging my shoulder, trying to relax me a little.  
  
I nodded. Looking past him, at the ceiling.  
  
"Why can't you just tell me what the dream is about, Suze?"  
  
"Why can't you just read my mind and find out?" I whispered back. "…I don't want to talk about it. But feel free to help yourself to my private thoughts."  
  
Paul grimaced. "Suze, I already told you-"  
  
"That you can't read my mind anymore for some reason."  
  
Paul nodded. "It's weird." He fell back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. The sheet slipped off of him the slightest bit. Enough for me to see his bare chest. For some reason, this reminded me of Jesse. Everything reminded me of Jesse. He was haunting me.  
  
"It's like there's a wall around your mind…" Paul said, sounding like he was encountering something strange and new, which he was. "Never…never. I can see everyone else's mind…except yours and Rose's. Like something is shielding you from me…"  
  
He didn't know I knew about Jesse. I never told him. And after Jesse left, that was when he lost his ability to read my particular mind. So I had an idea of what was keeping my mind closed away. But if it was what I thought it was, then Jesse was alive somewhere. And he was way more powerful than Paul. Because to my knowledge, Paul couldn't shield minds from long distances. He did it at diplomatic meetings and stuff, to keep the ambassadors from hearing my…less than complimentary thoughts about him. But he never did it from more than a room away. And I think he's tried.  
  
I was aware of the fact, however, that Jesse had apparently escaped. Paul only referred to him as "a dangerous demon". An escaped "dangerous demon".   
  
Which was way weird…because I had seen those Keepers carry him away.  
  
But I had a feeling that Paul was thinking the same thing. That Jesse was doing it. Only he thought Jesse was doing it just to make him mad. I think he was doing it because…well, not to say that he cares about me, or anything…but because Paul would be very angry with me and Rose it he learned about our encounters with Jesse.  
  
But no, Jesse doesn't care about me. He made that quite clear.  
  
I didn't even feel the tear come out of my eye. But Paul turned to look at me, and he saw it. And there it was, sliding down my cheek. He reached out and wiped it away.  
  
For the first time in seven years, there was no need for me to worry for my thoughts being given away. My mind was my own. At least I could thank Jesse for that much.  
  
So when Paul said, in that loving tone that made me wonder who was really the bad guy whenever he used it, "What's wrong, love?", I was able to lie very confidently.  
  
"Nothing, just…" The legendary liar is about to make her triumphant return here, folks! "…I just got something stuck in my eye."  
  
And without my mind out in the open like a book-a book with a 100 size font-Paul bought my little lie with absolutely no doubts. You have no idea how proud I was of myself.  
  
Hey, it may seem like a stupid victory to you other people. But just think…seven years without being able to get away with even the smallest lie…  
  
So Paul smiled at me, completely oblivious. Just smiled at me in a truly heartwarming way. "I could never cry when I was a kid," he said suddenly, completely out of the blue. "One time, my eyes got wet while I was yawning…you know how that happens sometimes…and my father beat me to within an inch of my life."  
  
Okay…Paul never showed me this side of him. And I really didn't know what to make of it. So I just stared at him in a kind of shocked silence. Then I said, "Um…wow, what a jerk."  
  
Paul's smile was still planted, disturbingly pleasant, on his face, even as he went on. "I never told it to anyone…but I used to cry, anyway. At night…when no one would see me, you know? It was just…just too much sometimes for a little kid. All of it. Being expected to be perfect. Being forced to kill. All part of my training, to rule the universe, to be heartless."  
  
I sensed he kind of just needed to say this, without anyone interrupting, so I restrained myself from telling him that the training must have worked pretty well.   
  
"He made me kill some of my best friends… 'The perfect king has no heart!' he said. Funny…but when I was holding him in my arms, slowly killing him…he cried. He cried for mercy. But he never gave me any mercy."  
  
I felt a surge of pity fill me. Really…I had no idea. Suddenly, the situation seemed very intimate. You know, us lying side by side, facing one another, naked except for the sheets…not meaning that in a sexual way, but more of an emotional way. His hand was still stroking my cheek, and he was still smiling in that odd way. I figured that if I could see into his mind just then, I would see he wasn't really in much a smiling mood.  
  
"Do you still cry?" I said, without even realizing I was about to speak until the words tumbled out of my mouth.  
  
And suddenly, I could see into his mind. And I was right, he wasn't in a smiling mood. He had never opened up to me this way.  
  
I was seeing him, as a little boy, running down a dark hall, fighting tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. There was a dark shadow chasing him. But I doubted it was really there, rather, I think it was the shadow chasing his mind.  
  
It was just…just so sad. A sweeping sea of sadness. That was the only way to describe what it felt like to be inside his mind. A vast, never ending sea, with some cold spots of rage, and other, even rarer spots of happiness. I, of course, was attracted to one of the warm spots…and, unfortunately for me, this spot happened to contain memories of me.   
  
I saw myself, standing there, smiling, looking…beautiful. More than beautiful. Like a goddess. It wasn't what I saw when I looked in the mirror. It was so…perfect. It was the way Paul saw me. I was seeing myself through his eyes.  
  
Then I was overwhelmed with a sense of helpless and unrequited…love. I saw the image of me turn angry. Hating me. Still so beautiful…and I felt myself wanting that beautiful creature that was supposed to be me…to just…care. Just a little. Just to want me back. I felt the horrible love, the pain tightening in my chest…and I couldn't breathe.  
  
I reeled away from the memories of me, wanting to get away, but I was lost in his mind. I wasn't in the bedroom anymore. And without even realizing it, I was sucked into one of the areas of swirling hate.  
  
Like a whirlpool.  
  
In it, I saw Jesse. Simply, just, Jesse. Then I was there, too, and Jesse and I were kissing, lovingly. It was so strange, watching us kiss like that. Then the air turned red with fury, and Jesse opened his eyes and winked mischievously, as if purposely challenging me to stop him. Then he was touching that image of me, and I was subjecting to him. I was watching Jesse make love to me, and all I wanted to do was rip his head off. Then I passed a soft spot, and the air turned icy cold as the image of me, beneath Jesse, turned to me and laughed. Laughed at me.  
  
Then Rose was there. Standing there in her pretty little blue dress, smiling at me.  
  
And I wanted to kill her.  
  
I was screaming, I wanted to get out of this place of haunting memories. I didn't want to love Paul, I didn't want to care about him. I didn't want to think that he had feelings, that he had a heart. I just wanted to see him as an animal…  
  
And then something pushed me out and away, very quickly, so quickly I was slightly dizzy. And then I was staring at Paul's face again. His mind was closed to me.  
  
He was looking at me hard. Eyeing me warily.  
  
I had seen too much.  
  
Then, without a word, he rolled over, away from me.  
  
For a long time, I just stared at his muscular back. Thinking about what I had seen. I reached out a hand, tentatively, and lightly brushed it over his shoulder blade. He didn't even flinch.  
  
"Paul," I said quietly. "Paul, I know you're awake."  
  
Actually, I didn't know. I was just making an educated guess. Which turned out to be right, since he turned back over, so he was lying on his back. Staring at the ceiling again. Looking like a stone statue.  
  
"You've been dreaming of him, haven't you?" Paul said suddenly. "You know more than you let on."  
  
"Paul-"  
  
"You still love him. More than…more than you could ever love me."  
  
He sounded so sad…I guess I just kind of…I don't know. I just, maybe, loved him a little then. I mean, I can't complain too much about the way he's treated me, and after seeing into his mind like that…  
  
So I kind of leaned over, and rested my head on his chest. This surprised him, you know, cause I usually stay on the opposite end of the bed from him. I don't do open affection. Not like this.   
  
So for a whole minute, he was kind of tense, until I slid my right had over his abdomen, in a soothing way. Then his arms came up over my back, and he just held me. I could hear his heart shuddering in his chest. I never heard his heart. Proof that he had one.  
  
Maybe…maybe I didn't need Jesse. Jesse was such a jerk to me…but, Paul made him that way…it was all Paul…and yet…  
  
"Suze," he murmured, sounding on the brink of sleep. "I'm sorry…"  
  
I shut my eyes, trying to hold the tears in, but they slid out anyway, right onto his chest.  
  
"I'm sorry I couldn't have been better for you…and maybe…maybe he is the better man."  
  
My grip tightened around him convulsively, and a choked sob escaped me. Why? Why?! I should be rejoicing! So why did I feel like *shit?  
  
I felt his hand slip under my chin, and he lifted my head up to face him. He was crying, too. And smiling at me so sweetly. His lips trembling, like he was trying to stay strong.  
  
"I'm…" His voice sounded so strange, so weak. "I'm setting you…free, Suze. You can leave the castle…if you want. I…I won't stop you."  
  
I swallowed, and closed my eyes against the pain on his face.  
  
"I can't break the bonds between us, Suze. They will always be there, you understand? Demon marriage is forever…but…but you can still leave."  
  
I nodded. I didn't open my eyes. I had always thought…that he couldn't cry.  
  
"Please-please, look at me."  
  
I opened my eyes, seeing him through a haze of salty tears. His lips still trembling, holding that smile that looked like it would break any second. So fragile.  
  
"I will always love you…" he let out what sounded like a cough, but what I think must have been a sob that he was trying to hold in. "…Suzie…"  
  
Suzie. He had never called me that. Somehow, though…I didn't mind.  
  
"I-I-" What was I supposed to say? Now that I understood… "I-I do-love you…"  
  
That did it.   
  
Paul did another one of those muffled sobs, then grabbed me, pulling me against him almost viciously.   
  
And then…just holding me.   
  
I could feel his tears falling into my hair, but I didn't mind. I just held onto him. I didn't know if maybe that confession made it worse for him. But maybe it didn't. Maybe it was all he ever needed to hear.  
  
But did I love Paul?  
  
Yes…in a different way than Jesse…  
  
Yes, I did.  
  
***************************  
  
It was the strangest thing…finding out that all those people I remembered…were still alive. Father Dominic and Cee Cee…who was married to that Adam fellow…and even those three boys, who Susannah had affectionately named Sleepy, Dopey and Doc. Now of course, grown men. Spike…Spike the cat. Old and fat, but still hanging on, and still remembering me. Her parents…or, rather, her mother and stepfather…had apparently being killed when their house collapsed during an earthquake.  
  
An earthquake caused by Paul.  
  
I had found out a lot, being free for a week. About S.H.I.T (I still have trouble not laughing when someone says that name). It was actually a massive organization, spread over the world, kept secret from the demon police. Millions of humans, angels, and demons alike, all opposed Paul's unjust rule. Constantly growing, constantly recruiting members.  
  
And of I course I, being the strongest being in the world, right next to the little bastard himself, was one of its key members.  
  
Paul had ravaged the world. I was actually shocked into silence when I had first glimpsed his "kingdom". A world of black and red, cracked and barren deserts, and miserable, sparse towns and cities. Few human cities were left. The ones that remained were day by day being destroyed by demons, forcing most of the humans to live the lives of nomads.  
  
It was truly sick, what he had done to this world.  
  
Currently, I was at a bar in the capitol city. The capitol city-known as "Hell Mountain". Known as such because the enormous mountain that rose from its center was actually the castle. The castle where the little bastard and…and she lived. The castle where I had been kept prisoner.  
  
Hell Mountain was the only city left on earth that actually looked like a city. In fact, looking at this one city, you would think the earth was incredibly prosperous. It was sleek and futuristic, most buildings made of a strange metal that resembled glass. The cars seemed to hover above the ground. I was here in what they called an "air bike", basically a motorcycle that…well, that hovered. I still wasn't completely used to the controls.  
  
Hell Mountain was party city. Seriously. The demons held massive raves 24/7. It always seemed to be nighttime…the sky being the scorched red color that it was. The sun seemed like only a distant, slightly discolored beach ball in the sky…it barely gave off any light. Or rather, barely any light got through the atmosphere and reached the ground.  
  
I would have loved to participate in one of the roughly eleven thousand raves taking place right now. They looked so…fun.  
  
But I was here on business. Business that I didn't really want to be on.  
  
What I was supposed to be doing was circling the castle and noting any details that would be helpful in our plans to storm it, namely, alternate entrances (of which there were hundreds) and, hopefully, a window. Of which there were none.   
  
What I actually was doing was sitting in this smoky and crowded bar, drinking myself into oblivion. Oblivion wasn't coming.  
  
I was the only "agent" they would dare to send into Hell Mountain. Basically because I was the only one with a chance of survival if caught. They seemed to have forgotten the fact that I was currently number one on Paul's "Most Wanted" list. But nobody was noticing me. The only attentions I had been getting were from lady demons, who openly expressed their interest in me.  
  
I was thinking about it. Thinking about leaving this bar with one of them. They all wanted the same thing. In fact, they probably wouldn't have minded if I took them all on at the same time. I could have easily handled them.  
  
I took another swig of the drink they had given me, supposedly their strongest, but not strong enough.  
  
Drugs, *sex, and evil. That was what this city was all about. It was a place I could easily get used to…if only I could forget who lived in that castle at its center.  
  
Emptying my fourteenth glass, I said, "Another one."  
  
The bartender eyed me, then said, "Hey, nobody's ever taken more than ten of those without passing out. I don't think-"  
  
He was cut off as I reached out, grabbed his hair, and slammed his face into the countertop, all in one swift motion. "I said, I want another one. You will give me another one."  
  
I spread my wings slightly, knowing full well that they were an impressive sight…much larger than most other demons.  
  
The bar went nearly silent. Maybe it was because of my voice. Things like this were common in bars, after all. But my voice was the way it always was when I was angry. Two different voices, demonically intertwined. The two sides of my soul.  
  
The bartender whimpered pathetically in affirmation, and I let go. Ten seconds later, another drink was in front of me, the contents still sloshing around from the bartender's shaking hands. Aware that the entire room seemed to be focused on me, I spun around on the stool, downed the entire glass at once, then stood up to leave. As I was going through the doorway, I turned, gave a sadistic grin, flashing my fangs, and every single glass of alcohol, soda, water, and ice tea that was sitting on the tables exploded, raining glass and liquids through the room in a fine mist of destruction. I reveled in the unanimous cry of fear that issued as I tucked my wings back into place, jammed my hands into my pockets, and blended into the crowd out on the sidewalk.  
  
It was good to let loose every once in a while.  
  
It was close to midnight when I reached my air bike, having taken a long detour around the city. It was pleasant to walk through the city at night. The loud music blaring from every club, the screams of pain and ecstasy echoing from nearly every house, the women on the corners offering themselves, for a price. Most of them, in a desperate attempt to get me to screw them, told me they would give me a great discount. I got jealous looks from other male demons walking by when they would say this. But of course, I would always politely decline.  
  
They were too disgusting to be enjoyable.   
  
In fact, nearly every woman I spotted seemed…wrong, somehow. Too fat, too skinny, too loose, too prudish. Okay, I'll admit it…I was a horny little bastard. Or big bastard, I should say. But…not for these women. I couldn't seem to find the perfect woman.  
  
Well, I knew one woman I wouldn't mind screwing. But she was unavailable.  
  
As I mounted the air bike, my shirt opened slightly, and the chain around my neck fell out. I looked around quickly, almost embarrassed, like anyone here would really understand what the ring hanging on the chain was.  
  
It was my weakness. I couldn't get rid of the damned thing, so I kept it hidden from sight.  
  
I shoved it roughly back into my shirt, and started the engine. It came to life with an angry roar that was music to my ears, and I took off down the street, ignoring the rules and taking the road the way I wanted. Darting in between hover cars, dodging traffic, and basically breaking every single law.  
  
Ignoring the obscene things that angry drivers were yelling at me, I spread my wings as wide as they would go. I grinned in delight as this silenced most of the drivers. My wingspan nearly encompassed the entire road, which was about five lanes. It was a glorious feeling, casting my dark shadow over all these brainless fools, passing them so easily, going to fast. A strong wind caught my wings, and I was "hover sailing", a game I made up to amuse myself. The air bike leaped and glided right over all the traffic, the wind carrying me through the air as if I were just a feather.  
  
I was having a Hell of a good time!  
  
Then I heard the sirens behind me.  
  
This was my favorite part of the game.  
  
I whirled around to face them, stopping myself in midair. The patrol cars skidded to a stop. Surprised. I guess they weren't used to criminals surrendering so quickly.  
  
As if.  
  
There were two of them. Perfect.  
  
I hiked up the handlebars, pressed the gas, and flapped my powerful wings, once. These three actions sent me thundering directly at the patrols so quickly that they didn't realize what was happening until my wings whipped past them, the subsequent air disturbance sending their cars into out-of-control spins. I slowed down long enough to hear the satisfying crashes, then, with a whoop of pure unadulterated joy, I continued my rampage of the city.  
  
Anything to forget.  
  
****************************  
  
Here I was, exactly one week after Jesse's mysterious escape, getting ready to leave sheltered life I've lived. Getting ready to be free.  
  
Was it because of Jesse? Was I leaving to follow him? I guess, deep down, I still had hope. Hope that…something could change. That something could be like it used to be. Though I doubted it ever would.  
  
I think I could honestly say that I just wanted to get out of this place. Despite my newfound soft spot for Paul, I really couldn't stand this castle anymore. I wanted to breathe fresh air again, to see the sun shining down on me, to feel grass beneath my feet. Maybe someday, after I've been burned yet again by Jesse, I'd come back. Paul would be here. Maybe, amazingly, it would turn out that he was the one all along. Though I cared about him…I seriously hoped it never came to that.  
  
"Where are we going, Mommy?" Rose asked from behind me. Her voice sounded a little sad, but when I turned around to look at her, her face was completely emotionless.  
  
"I'm not sure," I said. "Just…away. Maybe we can find one of my old friends to stay with or something."  
  
I turned back to the suitcase I had been trying to force shut. "Why-won't-this-damn-thing-CLOSE!"  
  
On the word close, I threw all my weight onto it. But it still remained annoyingly wide open.  
  
"Allow me," came Paul's voice.  
  
I whipped around to face him. His face was amazingly cheerful. Without a word, I stepped aside. He pushed the suitcase shut with one hand with what looked like very little effort, and zipped it up with the other.   
  
"Um-thanks," I said awkwardly. Well, it was kind of awkward. If you consider what happened last night.  
  
"No problem," he said, and picked up the suitcase. "Is there anything else I can do? You know-book a hotel somewhere, send guards, give you money, maybe you'd like me to-"  
  
"Paul," is said. "Really…I mean, if I needed your help, I would ask. I have enough money already, believe me. We'll be fine."  
  
He pursed his lips, but said nothing.  
  
He walked us to the main hall. There, we were met by Bonnie, who also had a suitcase packed, and was sporting a very grim expression.  
  
"Bonnie, you're not coming," I said firmly.  
  
"Yes, I am," Bonnie said defiantly.  
  
Paul put my suitcase down, and made a move to smack her for her insolence, but I grabbed his arm and gave him a hard look. He relaxed, but still looked at Bonnie like he would have loved very much to knock her head off her shoulders.  
  
"I won't abandon you and the Princess," Bonnie said simply. "Not because of my duties, but because…because I care about the both of you."  
  
Well, that was shocking. Bonnie had always taken care of us, but she had never given any sign that she saw us as anything other than her income. I eyed her, then said, "Well, as long as you don't start getting too…helpful, or anything. I mean, I want to be independent, you know? I don't want someone spoon feeding me or anything."  
  
Bonnie smiled. "Of course not, your Highness."  
  
"And don't call me "Highness". Especially not in public. Call me Suze."  
  
Paul looked like he was about to say something about this, but I headed him off at the pass. "And no punishment will come to you, because that is a strict order from me. I expect it to be obeyed."  
  
"Yes, Suze," Bonnie said, seemingly comfortable in saying my name. Like she'd been practicing all night…which I didn't doubt.  
  
I grabbed Rose's hand. She looked at me with trust in her eyes, and I smiled at her reassuringly. Then I looked at Paul.  
  
I remembered those tears, that trembling smile. That sea of sadness. The love in his "non-existent" heart.  
  
I reached out a hand, and gently caressed his cheek. "Don't worry, Paul. We'll…see each other again."  
  
Paul looked directly at me, and I saw so many things in his cold eyes. Well…they weren't quite as cold as usual. They held a sort of quiet desperation.  
  
"Maybe," was all he said. He knew I was going to look for Jesse. He knew there was a good chance I would never come back.  
  
There was something else in his eyes, though. Almost like…I was about to find out something that he had been hiding from me. Like he was wondering what I would think of him after I knew. Don't ask me how I knew this. It was just there, as plain as his nose. Maybe it was something I had picked up from his mind.  
  
Paul bowed slightly, looking almost detached from the entire situation, then turned abruptly, and walked away. He walked quickly, efficiently, without looking back. Boots clicking, cape flowing, wings held out slightly, as if trying to protect himself from something. He disappeared into the darkness of the castle, and was gone.  
  
Gone.  
  
Now…why did I feel kind of like crying?  
  
I looked at Rose again, swallowed the grief, knowing that I had to be strong. Bonnie was right behind me. She was following Rose and I simply because she cared. That thought alone gave me some strength. And…and Rose was coming just because she trusted me.  
  
I was ready to step into the real world.  
  
But when the front gate was finally opened, and I took that big, elusive step…I realized what it was Paul had been hiding from me all along.  
  
A/N: Was anybody not expecting that scene with Paul? Me neither. I just looked back at what I wrote and was like, "Whoa, that's weird."  
  
Thanks for reading, and REVIEW!!!  
  
TTFN 


	5. Flying, Part 1

A/N: Well, it's only been a week...  
  
Rebirth-Chapter 5, Part 1 (Yeah, yeah, I had the problem again...my chapter was too long for some reason, so its cut in half)  
  
Do you have any idea how ANNOYING its been, having to wear frilly dresses all the time, and having to have my hair grow out? All to be a "proper queen". I was practically tripping over my hair. Seriously, that's how long it was.  
  
Which is why, the first thing I did, you know, after we'd found a good high-class hotel room to stay at, and we were settled in okay, was cut my hair. That's right, I chopped the whole thing off, until there were only some cute chin-length spikes left. And, I had the whole thing layered, to make it even less of an annoyance. It was actually a good look.  
  
I was currently walking down the sidewalk of this city they called "Hell Mountain", on my way to buy some good ol' fashioned butt-kickin clothes. That's right, I was still wearing a frilly, stuck-up dress, and along with my white wings, I was being badly discriminated against. The city was mostly demons, you see, and they didn't take very kindly to an angel in their midst. It really wasn't very fair.  
  
We had gotten Rose's shopping done yesterday. That's right, no more stockings and stuffy blue dresses for her…she was currently wearing a fashionable pair of size six capris, and a plain old T-shirt. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  
  
Was it wise for me the parade the streets on my own, having left Bonnie and Rose at the hotel room? Was I risking certain death, or, judging by the looks some of the guy demons were giving me (guy demons, for some strange reason, seem to all be inexplicably hot…though not as hot as you-know who), certain other unmentionable fates?  
  
Well, nobody messes with Susannah Simon, so let them try. I was weak and oppressed in the castle, but now, I was going to take care of myself. I wasn't as fragile as I looked.  
  
Which I proved quite well when a particularly vicious-looking guy groped my *ass while I was passing him on a crosswalk.  
  
How?  
  
By lifting him clear off the ground, and slamming him into the windshield of a parked hover-car thingy, of course.  
  
It was amazing how these demons seemed to think I was helpless just because I had white wings. I mean, is the color black the epitome of strength?  
  
So, by the time I had finally reached a reasonable looking store, I had left a decent number of bruised demons behind me.   
  
I managed to pick out a few good outfits, though for some reason most of the clothes seemed to be leather. It was just too hot for leather. What happened to jeans? I managed to scrounge up a few, but they were all a size or two too small. Well, better to flaunt your curves than make everyone think your flabby, or anything.  
  
I really wasn't appreciating my view of the world so far. It looked like a war-zone. I mean, the city was modern enough, but anywhere beyond it was just…a desert. Yeah, how was I supposed to find anybody I knew in a desert? I thought about going back and asking Paul for help…but I decided against it. I wasn't in the mood to ask him for anything.  
  
I had expecting to be able to see the sun, run through grass, smell the flowers, and all that other stuff people do when they're finally freed from a seven-year imprisonment, but it just wasn't happening. There just wasn't any plant life left, other than a few sparse trees. And the sky was so ugly…a swirl of black and red mist, with silent lightning striking randomly. The sun was just a huge, dull ball of red, and the atmosphere was uncomfortably humid. All in all, it just wasn't a great vacationing spot.  
  
Well, what had I expected?  
  
By the time I left the store several hours later, my hands full of bags of clothes, I looked like a gothic painting. Not that I could help that…that just seemed to be the style. I did appreciate the black leather mini…and then there was the black leather tank top (which was hugging uncomfortably tight), black leather knee-high boots, and a spiky black collar I threw in, just because it was a freebee with a purchase of more than $500.  
  
Okay, so it wasn't a "few" outfits I bought. But I did need a new wardrobe, and believe me, I had money to burn. Lots of it.   
  
So you can imagine my utter surprise when I got back to the hotel room…and Rose and Bonnie were gone. Not only that, but the room was a wreck. On the wall, somebody had written, in what looked disturbingly like blood,  
  
DEATH TO ALL ANGELS…IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR FRIENDS COME TO THE ALLEY BEHIND ROGER'S PLACE ALONE  
  
My life is just a bowl of cherries, isn't it?  
  
**************************************  
  
It was easy enough to find them. What with their suspicious, darting eyes overly exaggerated touristy outfits. The agents, I mean. Because that's why I had been sent, yet again, to this city. To locate and identify the characteristics shared by agents, so the information can be used in The Plan. The Plan is what they call the big bang they're planning on inflicting upon Hell Mountain. I have no idea what it involves, nor do I care.  
  
I was just taking a leisurely stroll down the city. It seemed particularly crowded today. It would be a wild night. Parties everywhere. I sighed with longing.  
  
It was gradually turning dark, as it approached nine o'clock. A chill was slowly settling in the air, and I jammed my hands into my pockets, tightening my wings to my back to keep warm. It was always so hot during the day, and cold at night. No change in weather or seasons, it seemed. It kind of reminded me of life a long time ago…and no, not when I was living in Susannah's bedroom. Back when I was alive, a normal human being. It was sort of like this. Hot and humid during the day, cold at night. It brought back memories of those days when I had to work in that sticky weather. They weren't unpleasant memories. They were strangely comforting.  
  
Back then, I never would have guessed in my wildest dreams that a hundred and fifty years later, I would be alive again, and in my prime. Walking through a city of demons. Wishing desperately to have a woman. I was okay when I had returned to the base city, but then they had sent me back here, to this place full of scantily-clad females. And I wanted one…but…I just couldn't find one that I actually…wanted.  
  
It wasn't a sensation I particularly liked. Like…wanting candy, and being surrounded by it, but…just hating all the flavors.  
  
So there I was, going with the flow of the crowd, when I saw her.  
  
She was…perfect. Exactly what I needed. Her body tall and sleek, curvy in just the right places. Beautiful white wings, clashing with the black around her, so reminiscent of the queen I could never have. Extremely well endowed in the chest area, long, lean legs, and a perfect, round, luscious-  
  
Someone pushed me from behind, and I realized I had stopped to stare, stalling the flow of traffic. I moved aside, letting the crowd pass by, then turned back to the woman.  
  
She was a few feet away from me, turned away from me, so I couldn't see her face. With a body that incredible, her face had to be gorgeous as well. Her hair was perfect, too. Short and sporty-looking, kind of a reddish-brown, lifting slightly in the breeze. It didn't help my libido none, the fact that was she was wearing was TIGHT.  
  
She was so perfect, ripe for the picking, and all mine, mine, mine. She had no idea that I was right behind her, drooling over her.   
  
So, I leaned rather nonchalantly against a nearby lamp post, folding my arms over my chest, donned that smile that the girls seemed to go wild for, and said, "It's rather late for a girl like you to be walking around by yourself, wouldn't you agree?"  
  
The girl froze. I mean, completely froze. She had been tapping her toe impatiently, fidgeting uncomfortably, and she just stopped all movement, her toe still lifted in the air. This was odd. I wasn't expecting her to freeze until she turned and actually saw me. Was the sound of my voice really having that much of an effect on her?  
  
"Who are you?" she said suddenly, her voice very high and squeaky sounding. Not the kind of voice that would sound very pleasant screaming my name.   
  
"Why don't you turn around and see?" I countered, smiling a little at her funny behavior.  
  
For a second, I thought she would. But she just stayed the way she was, and then said so quietly, I almost couldn't hear, "Jesse…?"  
  
White wings. WHITE WINGS.  
  
Oh, Jesus.  
  
*****************************************  
  
WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING HERE?!?!?!  
  
I mean, I had enough to worry about with my kidnapped daughter. I couldn't even find this "Roger's Place". Am I supposed to know Roger or something? What kind of criminal has a meeting place called "Roger's Place", anyway?! It was the most idiotic thing ever! How was I supposed to kick their butts if I didn't know where their butts were?  
  
And, yeah, I was going to try and find Jesse. Um, AFTER I rescued Rose and Bonnie. Not now. Not when I was completely lost, and no doubt covered in prominent worry wrinkles. And not when I was in the middle of a failing rescue mission!  
  
For a second, the world seemed to stand still. He was right behind me. RIGHT BEHIND ME. Probably wearing a smug little grin or something. Happy with himself for having caught me off guard. Looking totally hot, wearing God-knows-what, though it would be nice if it were his birthday suit…  
  
And probably planning on humiliating me again. In public, this time.  
  
But instead of biting words, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Without even thinking, I whirled around to face him.  
  
And stopped breathing.  
  
No, seriously, you had to see him. He wasn't grinning or anything, like I thought he would be. He looked just as shocked as me. Weird. But that wasn't what took my breath away.  
  
It was, as you may have guessed, the fact that he looked GOOD.  
  
The sun was sort of setting behind him, giving him what almost looked like a halo, and casting his face into shadow. His wings, a midnight black, seemed much bigger than most other demons, folded neatly behind him, but held out just a little…just enough to give him that don't-mess-with-me look. His face was perfect…too perfect. Dark and mysterious, with those pouty lips and those dark, intense eyes…intense even though they were now widened in great surprise. I noticed the scar in his eyebrow…but rather than marring him, it seemed to make him even more irresistible. Thick, full hair…and I remembered what it felt like to run my hands through it…  
  
Then, of course, I became aware of the fact that he was wearing leather. Just like everyone else. Except he looked way hotter than everyone else. Leather definitely worked with him. Especially sleeveless leather tees, exposing his very strong looking biceps. He looked so…so…  
  
(A/N: YUMMY! ^_^)  
  
I shuddered to think what earth-shattering chemical reactions would take place in my body if his abs were exposed.  
  
So we just stared at each other, until my graceful mouth said words that I just knew would cause Jesse's heart to skip a beat.  
  
"Um, hi."  
  
Why did I always manage to start conversations like this?  
  
But maybe it was the right thing to say, since Jesse's face suddenly broke into a huge smile. It was almost enough to make me forget what happened the last time we met, but not quite.  
  
"Susannah," he said, and I think there was a note of pride in his voice. "You escaped!"  
  
I smiled weakly at him. My knees were sort of wobbling for some reason. "Actually, Paul sort of let me go…"  
  
Ok, and that would be the WRONG thing to say.  
  
The smile just fell from his face, as quickly as it had come…no, like it had never been there in the first place. Leaving behind the Jesse that had harassed me in the castle.  
  
"Oh?" Jesse said, with that cold voice I remembered.  
  
I was just about to tell him that yeah, Paul seemed to have a better heart than he did lately, when I was hit over the head with a pile of bricks.  
  
Ok, not really, but it sure felt like it when I remembered about Rose and Bonnie.  
  
"Oh my God, Jesse you have to help me! I forgot-Rose and Bonnie have been kidnapped by some guy who hates angels and he told me to meet him at Roger's Place but I don't know where Roger's Place is and I'm so scared that he's going to hurt them! Jesse, do you know where Roger's Place is, cause I really need to get there soon, you know, before he decides to kill them or something-"  
  
Jesse grabbed me firmly by the shoulders, looking down at me with what at first I thought was anger, but only turned out to be amusement as he said, "Susannah, could you say all that again, just a little slower, please?"  
  
So, blushing a little, I repeated my story to him, making sure I went slow. I noticed a small smile tugging at his lips as I talked. I think he was trying not to laugh at me, you know, for talking so fast. That smile gave me sort of a warm, fuzzy feeling. That familiar feeling used to get in the old mediating days. Whenever he would smile just like that.  
  
He was still smiling, to my amazement, after I had recounted my tragic situation.  
  
"Well, we'll just have to rescue them," he said, quirking up his eyebrow at me, the one with the scar. I felt my belly do a little dance, but ignored the butterfly feeling.  
  
"How do you suggest we find this "Roger's Place", then, cowboy?" I said, just a little annoyed.  
  
He gave a little laugh. "Why Susannah, it's only the most exclusive dance club in the city."  
  
Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the crowd. I jogged after him. Even though he was only walking, he was going really fast. I could only guess that he was taking me to Roger's Place. And what kind of dance club has the name Roger's Place, anyway? It's a pretty lame name it you ask me…  
  
A/N: ...well, nobody said I have to end part 1 with a cliffhanger!!! Go to part 2!!!!! 


	6. Flying, Part 2

Rebirth--Chapter 5, Part 2  
  
I was still thinking these little thoughts of mine when Jesse gave a final tug, and let go of my hand. We weren't by any dance club, but we were right next to what looked like a motorcycle…sleek, black, and sexy, perfect for Jesse, which is why I assumed it was his. And I was right, since a second later, he was swinging his leg over it and turning the ignition.  
  
"Um," I said. "Shouldn't we have…I dunno…helmets or something?"  
  
Jesse rolled his eyes. "Just get on, or I'll take off without you."  
  
Not wanting to lose my ride, I came up beside the bike and swung my leg over it the way Jesse did. I was seated a few inches behind him, and immediately aware of the closeness, believe me.  
  
"Are there seatbelts on this thing?" I didn't care that I was starting to sound like a spokesperson for the Safety First foundation. I was getting jumpy on this thing. Especially because Jesse kept revving the engine, making it sound like a restless horse or something.  
  
Jesse looked over his shoulder at me…or should I say, leered at me, with this mischievous little smirk on his face. "Susannah, you'll have to get closer to me than that, unless you want to fall off."  
  
I scooted up about an inch, knowing that wasn't what he meant…but you have to understand, I could feel his body heat, and it was causing some interesting reactions to take place, if you know what I mean. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea, after all, of why I was here…   
  
"Susannah…it's not like we can have that kind of fun on an air bike, anyway," he said, his eyes twinkling in amusement.  
  
OH. MY. GOD. He totally knew.  
  
Apparently noticing that I had been rendered speechless, he reached back and pulled me against him. Hard. Hard enough for me to instantly mold to his body, like we were two pieces of a puzzle. A little harder than necessary, I thought.  
  
"Put your arms around me," he commanded, and though I knew what he meant, it still sounded unbelievably like something a guy would say in a romance novel.  
  
So I kind of slid my hands around him, letting them rest loosely at around the place his abs were. Not wanting to hold on too tight, lest I feel his muscles and attack him or something. But this plan of mine was kind of thrown out the moment Jesse punched the gas and we took off, going way faster than every other vehicle, darting in between cars, missing them by inches. What I mean by that, is that I ended up clinging onto him for dear life, pressing against him tightly and feeling his muscles beneath my fingers, but too scared to really care.  
  
Don't get me wrong, Jesse was a good driver. I mean, he knew what he was doing…but he was just a little wild.   
  
"I thought you liked them wild," an evil little voice said inside my head.  
  
I was startled, but it didn't take me too long to figure out where it came from. Glaring at the back of Jesse's head, I thought back to him, "In bed, not on the road."  
  
He chuckled, out loud. "It's just as fun on the road, as it is in a bed," came his mental voice.  
  
I refused to comment. Or rather, I couldn't. He was too much. Like some kind of…die-hard *sex addict.  
  
A few uneventful minutes after that (can I really say uneventful? I mean, I'm hugging myself to his glorious body, and he's dodging all this traffic all over the place…including the traffic going in the opposite direction), we found ourselves stuck in a traffic jam.  
  
Now, I usually stay cool when stuff like this happens, but, you know, my daughter was kidnapped. So can you blame me for spewing that litany of curses that, if I'm not mistaken, seemed to make even Jesse turn a little pink?  
  
When I had finally shut my dirty little mouth, we were still in the exact same spot, and the traffic hadn't parted for me the way I was willing it to. No…the only thing I had done was scar several children for life.  
  
Jesse turned to me, and gave me this really weird look.  
  
"What?" I demanded.  
  
"Nothing," he said, still giving me the weird look.  
  
"Jesse-"  
  
"Spread your wings," he said suddenly.  
  
I blinked. "What?"  
  
"Spread your wings," he repeated. "Like this." And his wings, which were neatly folded a little to the sides so I could hold on, suddenly unfolded, rippling in the wind like silk and spreading slowly to their full majesty.  
  
They were HUGE.   
  
I just stared, and I could tell the drivers around us were doing the same. They were just so…I guess the word would be, glorious. So black, so shiny, so magnificent. I wanted to reach out and touch them, run my fingers along them. They were so glossy they almost appeared to be wet.  
  
"Spread your wings," Jesse said again. "Unless you want to be stuck in this traffic all night."  
  
Still kind of staring at those incredible wings of his, I spread my own as far as they would go, kind of clumsily and absent-mindedly. They weren't nearly as big as his, and when I looked at them clashing so obviously with his, they seemed to be swallowed up by the darkness. The darkness of his wings, of the sky, of the world around me. But, strangely…it seemed…right. I mean, the feathery whiteness of my wings against the sharp blackness of his. Oddly beautiful.  
  
The thing is, it just wasn't getting me through the traffic any faster. The moment I decided to voice this fact to Jesse, he had the nerve to shush me.  
  
"Just wait for it."  
  
"Wait for what?" I said in a whiny voice.  
  
"You'll see," was his enigmatic answer.  
  
Ah, more warm fuzzies as I remember how no one could ever afford to just give me a straight answer.  
  
So I waited. And waited. My wings were started to get cold, despite that Jesse's wings were blocking them from the wind. The drivers around us, initially amazed at the breadth of his wings, were now mumbling under their breath in an annoyed way.  
  
"Jesse-"  
  
And that's when it happened.  
  
This strong breeze came up under my wings. Our wings. And it just kind of…lifted us up right above the traffic. The moment we cleared the cars, Jesse gunned the engine, and we were flying, without actually flying, the wind lifting us up, bike and all.  
  
I couldn't help but laugh right along with Jesse. And as we glided through the air, occasionally dipping low and rising up high, I realized I was no longer holding onto him for dear life. I was simply…holding him. Hugging myself to him. I noticed the stars in the sky. The night sky, amazingly, looked no different than I remembered. No swirling red gases or anything. Just a peaceful, infinite, nothing. The stars were brighter than I recalled, seeming to have moved closer to earth. The night was beautiful. And even more beautiful because I was flying through it with Jesse.  
  
"I call this, 'hover sailing'," Jesse shouted over the wind. "What do you think?"  
  
"I could get used to it," I shouted back, and I felt his hand go over mine, and give it an affectionate squeeze.  
  
Somehow, it seemed hard to remember that Rose and Bonnie were in trouble. After all, if they really were in danger, Jesse would be much more urgent than this. He wouldn't be so playful and relaxed.  
  
Would he?  
  
I couldn't seem to care…I was in heaven as his hand held mine.  
  
And heaven was abruptly shattered as a huge, blinking neon light came into view.   
  
Roger's Place.  
  
"Party's over," Jesse said wistfully as he slowly drew his wings back into his body. I did the same, and we drifted down slowly, coming to a perfect stop in a parking space right in front of the club.  
  
And Jesse was right. It did look pretty exclusive, if the mile long line was any indication. Loud, booming music was coming from the entrance. Music that made me want to dance, even out here. I must have been swaying a little or something, since Jesse said, "I'll take you there sometime."  
  
And I got this incredibly squishy feeling inside. A date! He was suggesting a date! And…and this wouldn't be the last time I'd ever see him, as I was starting to worry about.  
  
A date with Jesse…my life was complete.  
  
Then Jesse swung his leg over and got off. "But not now, we have to save Rosie," he said, and held my hand to help me off the bike, which I thought was incredibly sweet of him.   
  
"Her name's Rose," I said. "And she'll kill you if she hears you calling her that."  
  
"Well, Susannah," he said, giving me a roguish grin that made me think his thoughts weren't all innocent, "You should know I have a knack for calling people things they hate."  
  
"Yeah, here you are all rugged and wild, and you still won't call me Suze," I said bitterly.  
  
He laughed and put his arm around my shoulders, and I chuckled a little, too. For some reason, Jesse's laughter always seemed to induce some in me.  
  
"It's behind the building, right?" Jesse said, glancing at me. I nodded, and he directed me to the far left side of the building, away from the crowds, the line, and the music, into the entrance of a very ominous looking alleyway.  
  
Amazing how you can go from heaven to freakish nightmare in two minutes. And that's what it was. It was the kind of place you expect a murder to take place. Really dark, narrow, and eerily quiet.  
  
Jesse gave me an encouraging push forward. "Well, go on. Save your daughter. I'll be waiting here."  
  
I spun around and gave him an incredulous look. "You're kidding me, right? You're not at least going to help me fight those thugs?"  
  
Jesse, harboring a lopsided grin, said, "Well, you're the big bad angel, here. No demon is any match for you. So go do your thing, Angel."  
  
I had a feeling he was mocking me.  
  
"Fine then, I will," I said, glaring at him. Then I turned around, stuck my nose in the air, and stalked away from him, into the darkness.  
  
As you may be aware, I wasn't nearly as confident as I acted. In fact, when the only sounds in the pitch blackness was my ragged breathing and the squeaking of all that leather against my skin, I put my nose back down, wrapped my arms around myself, and shivered.   
  
It was WAY too dark.  
  
Then an awful, awful thought came to my mind. Jesse didn't come in, so he obviously didn't value my safety. Maybe he was still mad at me about the whole Paul thing. Maybe he was sending me in here alone because he wanted to see me dead. As a punishment, almost. He wanted me to be brutally murdered.  
  
I almost turned around then, but I saw Jesse's outline, seeming miles away, at the little square of light that was the entrance to the alley. He was leaning against the wall, his arms folded, watching me.   
  
Could he see me in the dark?  
  
Could he read my mind?  
  
Of course he could. Paul could see in the dark, and read my mind. Obviously the invisible mental barrier Paul suffered wasn't a problem with Jesse, since he spoke to me through a mental link, earlier.  
  
So Jesse was seeing me shivering and scared, my nice blanket of darkness unable to hide me from him. And Jesse was hearing all my insecure thoughts.  
  
Great.  
  
So, I took a deep breath, put my right hand to the way to feel my way along, and walked forward, holding my left hand out to prevent myself from walking into a wall. The alley never seemed to end. It just kept getting darker and quieter, until I almost felt like there was a force greater than just my imagination repelling me from this place. It was an intuition telling me to run back to Jesse. And I wanted to. God, how I wanted to. But I couldn't…for Rose, and for Bonnie.  
  
It was right about when I was thinking this that my left hand, stretched out in front of me, hit something. For a panicky second, I thought it was a person. But it was only a brick wall, signaling the alley's end. It kept going to my right…that was the back of the building. Darker even than this alley. Dark to terrifying extremities.  
  
"Hello?" I called out, my voice shaking.  
  
Rose was in there.  
  
I stepped into the darkness.  
  
A/N: I liked writing that chapter...it felt more "Suzish" for some reason. Well, thanks for the reviews, even the people who aren't sure what to make of what I've done to Jesse. Special thanks to Susannah's Secret--you're review meant a lot to me ^_^ It makes me want to finish this story fast for all you great fans, but...well, I'll try for quick updates. At least one a week. So, for now, please REVIEW!!!!! 


	7. On the Rooftop

A/N: Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews, everyone! Sorry to keep you waiting...  
  
Rebirth-Chapter 6  
  
The music was louder back here. True, I was blind, and freezing. Ok, and scared shitless. But, I could hear music. That made the situation a little less intimidating as I felt my way through the back of the building. You'd think they would put a lamp or something back here, wouldn't you? But noooo. Demons can see in the dark, so its just my personal problem that my daughter was kidnapped and taken to a really dark place.  
  
Jerks.  
  
I heard a shuffle of feet behind me. I spun around, but of course I couldn't see anything. Ok, maybe it was just a rat or something…  
  
"The Angel is scared," came a sadistic growl from the same direction.  
  
To my knowledge, rats do not speak.  
  
There was a laugh from the opposite direction.  
  
"Oh-oh, Angel…you're a pretty one too…I'll enjoy this…"  
  
****************************************  
  
The moment she turned into the back alley, where she wouldn't be able to see me, I went into the alley after her.  
  
Oh, I was fully determined to let her handle the situation by herself. I would just…supervise the action. Make sure things didn't get out of hand or anything.  
  
So, I spread my wings, and flapped them once, hard. That was enough to propel me all the way up the side of the building, with a little extra height left. I landed quietly on the roof, and went towards the back of the building, trying my best to ignore the spectacular full moon that was rising, an angry red color. I had other more important things to take care of.  
  
The moment I looked over the ledge, the scene was clear as daylight. Susannah, backing towards the wall behind her, looking around frantically in all directions. Four seedy looking thugs slowly approaching her. No Rose or Bonnie in sight. And of course, Susannah was completely blind, so she probably thought the four thugs were only one man, who kept moving around very quickly.  
  
It was a very one-sided fight. I would get involved if necessary.  
  
Then one of the thugs stepped right in from of her. And boldly put his hand right on her breast.  
  
I had been expecting them try to rape her. I had known something like that was coming. But…I hadn't known that the moment one of them laid a hand on her, I would have felt this ferocious compulsion to jump down and rip them to shreds. I almost did, too. I was leaning over the side of the building, my blood boiling with rage that I had never, NEVER experienced in my life (and death), when Susannah promptly chopped the guy cleanly right on the side of his neck, and he fell down soundlessly.  
  
And I was wrong in my assumption that she thought there was only one, because she raised herself into a proud fighting stance. The other three men backed up a little. They seemed to consult each other about something, then all three of them pulled out a dagger.  
  
Seriously. Four strong demons had come, planning on raping a "defenseless" angel, fully armed.  
  
I was thinking about this, when I suddenly heard a footstep behind me. Not a loud one, mind you, but just a slight crunching. I straightened, but before I could turn around, I heard his voice. I nearly choked in shock.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" He sounded very annoyed.  
  
I slowly turned to face the little bastard, baring my fangs at him. "Oh…oh, I get it," I said. Because I did, just then. "I get it…you hire four goons to put on an act for your wife, then you drop in and gallantly "rescue" her."  
  
Paul's lips pursed.  
  
"Only you didn't expect me to be here, all ready to rescue her without your help. So your lame plan to win the heart of your own wife is foiled."  
  
Paul grinned. A grin I was all too used to. "Now now, Rico Suave. Let's not jump to conclusions…"  
  
He brought his fists up, spread his wings ever so slightly, and crouched down defensively.  
  
"Winner gets the girl," he breathed into the chilly night air.  
  
For a second, everything was still. And I heard agonized grunts coming from below us. Good, Susannah was taking care of herself.  
  
Then Paul lunged at me. I quickly drew back a fist, sending it right into his face with as much strength as I could muster, but then a strange thing happened. My fist seemed to go right through him, almost like he was only a holographic image, and then another Paul came up from right behind him, delivering a painful roundhouse kick. I staggered backwards, but quickly recovered. No permanent damage done.  
  
"An illusion," Paul said with a smile.  
  
"A dirty trick," I snarled. "I want a real fight."  
  
"This is a real fight…a demon fight."  
  
(A/N: Enter the techno-heavy metal background music)  
  
Then we both jumped at each other, meeting in midair, and just kind of hanging there, exchanging blows. I had thought that I would be much stronger. But we were actually evenly matched. Punches, kicks, it was like we knew what the other would do. Nothing got through his defenses, and nothing got through mine. It was very tiring.  
  
"What the hell-" Paul gasped out, punching low, at my groin. I easily blocked with my knee, and continued upwards, planning on smashing it into his stomach, but he did a quick backflip, right over my head, and brought his hands together in attempt to bring them down on my head. I easily dodged this with a kind of midair cartwheel, trying to kick Paul's face in the process. But nothing-NOTHING GOT THROUGH!  
  
The deep anger was beginning to boil in my blood. No…not anger. Not hate. There was no word to describe this feeling brewing within me. I felt like I would explode…like it was leading towards some kind of release of incredible power that I would be unable to control. And maybe I was right. Because Paul, just about to try and smash his head into my forehead, froze. Staring into my eyes. I saw them reflected back at me in his eyes.  
  
They were red. Not just pink-eye kind of red. I mean, the blood vessels were snaking and clustering around my iris, slowly turning my eyes into solid blocks of fiery red. It startled me, but didn't lessen the feeling any less. The feeling of unspeakable rage. The need to kill.  
  
And then, in his momentary shock, I reached out and wrapped a hand around his neck. And squeezed. Lifting him slowly above me, watching him gagging and struggling. I smiled. Yes, this was what I had been waiting for, all those seven years. To make him suffer the way I had. To murder, not just his body, but his pride, his soul, his mind. I wanted to kill every aspect of him that there was to kill. Every memory. I wanted him non-existent, gone to a far away dimension to wallow in his anger. Like he had done to me.  
  
Lifting him high, ready to kill him, with just one flick of the wrist…  
  
"P-Paul?!?!" I heard somebody shout behind me. "JESSE! LET GO OF HIM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!"  
  
I looked behind me, saw her running towards us with tears in her eyes, and thought, My God. She's crying for him. She wants him, not me. He won.  
  
And slowly let him slip out of my hands.  
  
There was the incredible sensation of having been hit by a truck. A painful crack at my back. Then I was slammed against the ground, numb to all pain. I moved a little, turning my face to look up. I saw Paul's bloody smile, holding his boot right over my face, ready to squash me into the roof of the building…  
  
Then I heard her voice, cool and soothing. The feeling of hatred stirred in me. I shut my eyes. No. No, she would never have me again. She would never again entrap me the way she had today. I would feel nothing for her but hate. I would kill her if necessary.  
  
There were no doubts, this time.  
  
*****************************************  
  
"Paul, put your foot down," I said, trying not to panic. It was so sudden. I just finished beating up those jerks down there, and I heard some weird sound up here. So I flew up investigate, and, completely out of the blue, there was Jesse with Paul in a death grip.  
  
Should I have minded? I did. I minded very much. Especially when Jesse turned to me, and I saw his eyes.  
  
The eyes of a monster.  
  
And here the tables were turned, and Paul wasn't listening to me as readily as Jesse had. Paul was looking at me sternly, still holding his foot right over Jesse's head. Jesse had his eyes closed, and seemed to be struggling to get up. I wondered, for one panicky second, if that crack had been a broken spine. If Jesse was paralyzed.  
  
"I will put my foot down," Paul said, looking at me accusingly. "In his brain."  
  
And he did. Well, at least he tried to. I saw his muscles flex, and knew he was about to. And this weird, wounded sort of sob ripped from my throat, and I threw myself on top of Jesse. Right over his body, and I put my hands over his head, so Paul would have to smash them before Jesse. And I knew he wouldn't.  
  
Jesse, I realized, was trembling. Fear? No…no, that didn't seem like him. Cold. He was cold.  
  
"Suze," Paul said, sounding angry. "Get out of the way, or your hands will go, too."  
  
"NO!" I roared up at him. He blinked in surprise at my voice. "No, nothing will go! DO YOU HEAR ME???? NOTHING WILL GO!!!! LEAVE US ALONE!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!"  
  
Paul didn't say anything. But he didn't move his foot away, either. I buried my face into Jesse's back, feeling him still trembling. I pressed myself into him harder, trying to keep him warm, trying to keep him safe.  
  
What was wrong with me? Why didn't I let Jesse kill him? Then Jesse would have been the king.  
  
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?  
  
I don't know how long I was there, laying over Jesse's body so possessively, feeling him trembling. Sobbing quietly into his back. Agonizing over my stupid decision. But when I ventured another look up, Paul was gone.   
  
Just like that. Gone without a sound.  
  
I slowly sat up, and sniffled. I hugged my arms around me. It was…VERY cold. Jesse didn't make any move. He was just there, still trembling. Was he unconscious? I reached out to touch him lightly. He suddenly stopped trembling.  
  
"Don't touch me," he said. I was taken aback by the biting tone in his voice. I mean, I had just saved his life. Why would he be mad at me?  
  
He slowly sat up, and started trembling again. And suddenly I realized why, when he opened his eyes and looked at me.   
  
He was angry. Struggling not to kill me, it looked like. His eyes…the most awful, accusing, hating glare I had ever received. Like in the dream. I sucked in a breath, and held it.  
  
Struggling not to kill me, and failing, it seemed. His fingers were twitching.  
  
Then he seemed to come to some kind of decision. He stood up, and sighed deeply. I stood up also, careful not to make any sudden movements, since he still seemed to be very mad. He looked at me with cool indifference, and said, "I will never be your fool again. I don't ever want to speak to you again."  
  
And he turned away from me, and got ready to take off.  
  
"Wait-" I called out, and grabbed his arm. He looked back at me dangerously, and I let go quickly. "What-what the hell is wrong? What did I do?"  
  
He bared his teeth at me. "You. Are. Disgusting."  
  
Something broke inside me. I can't say what it was. Something very precious and fragile. Shattered.  
  
"B-but Jesse…I…I…" I lowered my voice to whisper, and tears came down my cheeks. "I…I love you."  
  
And there it was. How could he not know that already? His face softened the tiniest bit, but he still looked at me like I was a leech.   
  
First, it was in the castle. In my bedchamber.   
  
Now, it was on a high rooftop, the winds blowing fiercely, a dying moon rising above our heads. The night so clear and beautiful, hiding such ugly things from ignorant eyes.  
  
I was dying inside.   
  
I felt it when Jesse shrugged at me. Like he didn't care. That was when I fell to my knees, suddenly unable to stand. And then he peered at me from above, his face floating into the orb of the moon, then being covered in shadows. That was when I fell over like a rag doll. And I couldn't move. I just lied there. And I knew that I was finally dead.  
  
"Mommy! MOMMY!"  
  
Rose. That was Rose. And I was her mother. Right.  
  
I sat up slowly. Jesse was still there. He wasn't gone. He was still there. Still standing there, looking very angry. Not even looking at me anymore. Looking at anything but me. But he was still there.  
  
I looked behind me. Rose was running towards me, her arms outstretched, tears streaming from her eyes.  
  
No, I wasn't dead inside. I would never be dead, as long as I had Rose with me.  
  
So I smiled in true joy, and stood up to catch my daughter in my arms. She was crying into my shoulder, and I rubbed her back soothingly. "Shhh, it's ok now, Rose. Everything's gonna be ok…"  
  
"No, it's not, Mommy!" she sobbed into my ear. "They took all our money! What are we going to do? We have nowhere to go, Mommy!"  
  
"We'll be ok, Rose," I assured her. "I'll think of something."  
  
Then, completely ignoring Jesse's presence, I swept past him, to where Bonnie was waiting, looking rather uncomfortable. I wondered how much she had seen.  
  
"Suze," she said respectfully. Said the word slowly, still getting used to it. She bowed slightly. "Rose is correct. Our assets have been taken. We have nothing."  
  
"What happened?" I demanded. "Did they hurt you?"  
  
"Oh, goodness no," Bonnie said with a nervous laugh. "No, we were treated like royalty. But…but it was still quite scary… They released us just now…we were in the building below us."  
  
I nodded. "That's all I was worried about. Don't worry, guys. We'll find somewhere to stay."  
  
Rose hugged me closer, and sniffled.  
  
"I know somewhere that you can stay," came Jesse's voice from behind me. Softened, but still with that coldness. I spun around to glare at him.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"I'm not doing it for YOU," he spat out with such vehemence that Rose hugged me tighter. "I'm doing it for them…for Rosie. I don't want her on the streets because of her mother's problems."  
  
"How thoughtful of you," I said politely, and turned away from him.  
  
#######.   
  
"You're the dark man," Rose said, speaking to him over my shoulder. "From the dungeons."  
  
"Yes, I am," Jesse said. "My name is Jesse."  
  
"I know," Rose said, her voice suddenly very serious. "I want you to be nicer to my Mommy. You've been very mean to her. You made her cry. If you make her cry again, I'll kick your butt."  
  
Slightly embarrassed though I was, I couldn't help but smile. Bonnie was avoiding looking in our   
  
general direction. And Jesse…I shuddered to think what his expression would be.  
  
I shuddered to think right up until I heard him burst out laughing.  
  
Seriously. God, how I hated him. And Rose seemed to, also, since she muttered sullenly, "I'm serious."  
  
Which only made him laugh harder.  
  
"How will we all fit on your bike?" I said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Oh-" Jesse mostly managed to stop laughing, but still chuckled as he said, "Well, you and…Bonnie, right?…you and Bonnie ride the bike, and I'll fly with Rose."  
  
"I don't like that plan," I said curtly.  
  
"Would you rather I carry you?" he said, the hidden threat I his voice not lost on me. "I may…accidentally…drop you, querida."  
  
Querida. He could never say the word with love, anymore. It was now officially a mocking term of endearment.  
  
"I can fly with Rose," I said.  
  
"No you can't," Jesse said pointedly. "You can't even fly by yourself to this place. You're too weak."  
  
"Fine then, you carry Bonnie," I said, and Jesse's eyes roamed towards Bonnie, and his features became distinctly disgusted. "I'll ride the bike with Rose."  
  
Bonnie was eyeing Jesse, not the same way that he was, but with a much different expression. She was terrified to go into his arms, as much as I could tell she was attracted to him in the same way any woman would be.  
  
"Um, I don't think-" was all Jesse could get out before Bonnie practically screamed, "No! No, I refuse to go anywhere in that-that man's arms! NO!"  
  
Jesse turned his eyes back to me, looking relieved. "I guess I'm with Rose, then."  
  
Rose's grip tightened around me, and I felt her nod her head slightly.   
  
"…I guess."  
  
It was not a pleasant ride.  
  
First, there had been the issue of Jesse actually having to hold Rose. I didn't like the idea to begin with, and I didn't like it even more when she stretched her arms out to him and he lifted her up. No, he wasn't holding her WRONG or anything, if you know what I mean. He was holding her…just a little too…RIGHT. Like, she looked so safe and happy, and she curled into him, and he looked down at her so gently, and smiled. I HATED IT.  
  
I mean, he looks at me, and hates me. Wants to kill me. Then he looks at my daughter, and suddenly he's some kind of righteous father figure. Does this make any sense? Not to me, it doesn't.  
  
Then Bonnie was terrified of the actual bike. And she should be, because I didn't really know how to ride it. And I never really learned how to drive a car, either, so it was NOT safe at all. I had some problems navigating the streets, but once we left the city, it was better. No obstacles. Just the barren, pathetic-looking wasteland, with no dumb rules to follow. Then all I had to do was look up occasionally, to where Jesse was, high in the sky, and follow him.  
  
But the problem with that was that I could see he and Rose were…bonding. Talking, and playing little games. I could see Rose was very happy. I even caught Jesse making goofy faces at her once, which was just…plain…weeeird.  
  
And the whole damn ride, Bonnie clung to me, almost suffocating me a few times, and kept giving me advice and telling me what to do. And she had even less experience with vehicles than me.  
  
So, just picture me, here: on this bike I have only the vaguest idea of how to control, with this old woman choking me and screaming directions at me, directions that were mostly wrong, anyway. Following this guy who seemed to have uncontrollable murderous and sexual tendencies, who hated me for some inexplicable reason, who was carrying my daughter in his arms and making her laugh.  
  
I repeat, it was not a pleasant ride.  
  
And, you know, I had absolutely NO idea where he was actually taking us. He only said "a place". I was getting disturbing images of him dumping us into a deep pit full of snakes. Or poison oak.  
  
I shuddered.   
  
"Your Highness!" Bonnie suddenly screeched. "YOUR HIGHNESS! TO THE LEFT! THE LEFT!" She reached forward and tried to grab the handlebars from me. After a brief power struggle, I finally managed to push her back, and assure her that there was absolutely no need to turn left. I had no idea why she wanted to turn left in the first place, since Jesse (who was now tickling MY daughter, thank you very much) was still just going straight ahead.  
  
Okay, I'll admit it. I was, just a little, jealous. Really, though-was I that different from my daughter? I mean, she bore a striking resemblance to me. Why did he hate me? And why did he love her? Why couldn't he just love both of us?  
  
And what was with him, anyway? He was fine until I saved his life. Did he want to die or something?  
  
I was forced to endure about an hour of this torture before this huge, HUGE dome came into view. Seriously, this thing looked like it could contain an entire city. And it did. An entire city, nearly as big as Hell Mountain. The dome appeared to be made of something like glass…the same thing the buildings back at Hell Mountain were made of.  
  
I skidded to a stop (which drew another shriek from Bonnie) in front of these two gates that appeared to be about a mile high. No joke. A few feet beside us, Jesse landed, still cuddling Rose, who was laughing, not even aware of me and Bonnie.  
  
"What did she do after that?" Rose said, her eyes lit up.  
  
"Well," Jesse said with a grin, "She stuck a pencil in his chest, because she couldn't find a stake."  
  
"She killed him with a PENCIL?!?!" Rose was nearly dying of laughter. "Mommy killed a vampire with a PENCIL?!?!"  
  
"He wasn't a vampire," I said, snatching Rose from Jesse's arms, still shrieking uncontrollably.   
  
Jesse looked at me with a smug smile. "What can I say, she enjoys stories of the stupid things you did as a mediator."  
  
Maybe, deep down inside, I was hurt by that comment. Maybe.   
  
"Hey, I never asked for that job, Jesse. And personally, I would have liked to see how good you did with it. Always blabbing about how bad I was at it, and you probably wouldn't have done any better."  
  
Jesse leaned over, right in my face, and said, "I would have done…MUCH better."  
  
He had that look in his eye. That look that gave off an I-wish-you-were-dead vibe. I looked away.  
  
"Oh, dear!" Bonnie said, as she fell off the bike and got up quickly, brushing herself off. "What an awful driver!"  
  
"Ugh, I'm a bad mediator and a bad driver. I get the point already," I mumbled, turning away from them both.  
  
Bonnie leaped out of my arms and ran up to the gates, touching them lightly. "Wooow," she said. "They're so big! How do we get in?"  
  
I walked up beside her, Bonnie right behind me. "I don't know, Rose."  
  
"Excuse me, ladies," Jesse said. I saw him pat Rose's head lightly as he brushed past us, and felt the strong urge to punch him. But I resisted it. Jesse put his hand onto a square panel right in the middle of the doors. It made some weird beeping sounds, then said, "Hector DeSilva. One of the head officers of S.H.I.T. Welcome home."  
  
As the massive gates began opening inward, I thought aloud, "S*hit?"  
  
"It stands for 'Susannah's Hell-Inspired Tirade'," Jesse said in monotone, as if he weren't very proud of the name. "It's what we call the resistance. The largest organization in the world, bent on ending Paul's unjust rule. So I suggest you run on home to protect him, Angel."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.  
  
"Whatever you make of it," Jesse replied, and he walked through the still-opening doors.  
  
Bonnie gave me a curious glance, then walked in after him. Rose grabbed my hand, and we walked into the city.  
  
A/N: Hope you enjoyed that! Now REVIEW!!! 


	8. Reunion

A/N: I know, I know.....don't blame me, blame fanfiction.com! I couldn't post for the last three months because of those idiots....*so mad*.....  
  
Rebirth—Chapter 7  
  
The place was almost impossibly big. It hadn't looked too big from the outside, but once you got inside, it was incredible. Dome City, it was called, and according to Jesse, who was kind of like our guide, it was the last human city left. A stronghold for humans, demons, and angels alike. Only one requirement to live here: hate Paul.  
  
"So you may want to turn around, Angel," Jesse said so only I could hear.  
  
"Jesse…if I'm not mistaken, you think I love Paul, or something," I said back to him.  
  
Jesse gave me a "duh" look.  
  
"Well, Jesse, you know—hey, stop calling me "Angel", anyway! I have a name, and it's Suze!"  
  
Jesse gave an exasperated sigh and walked faster, pulling away from me. Hmm…maybe I should have finished my thought before yelling at him about calling me Angel all the time. My thought probably wouldn't have made him too happy, anyway. That I didn't love Paul, but I believed there was some good in him, somewhere.  
  
But really, who wants to be called "Angel" all the time? And he doesn't exactly use the word lovingly. He spits it out, like it's a bad thing.  
  
Rose, still holding my hand, looked up at me and said, "Mommy, he thinks you love Father more than you love him."  
  
I looked down at her. She was way to smart for someone her age.  
  
"Rose, I want you to stop reading my mind," I told her, and her face immediately darkened. "These aren't things you should know about, Rose. You shouldn't know what goes on between two people who are…well, between two people—"  
  
"Who are in love," Rose said with a meaningful look.  
  
WAY too smart. Except that Jesse wasn't in love with me, he hated me.  
  
"No he doesn't," Rose whispered, her gaze flitting nervously toward Jesse, who was talking to Bonnie about something (she seemed to be having trouble speaking…I wonder why). Then she leaned towards me, like she was revealing something nobody should know. "He loves you very much, Mommy. He just doesn't want to believe it. He's mad at you. He keeps lying to himself, and thinking that he hates you. But he loves you so much, Mommy…"  
  
My heart gave a nervous flutter. Was it true?  
  
"…so much, it hurts him inside."  
  
I looked quickly up at Jesse. Bonnie was inching away from him slowly, twittering nervously. "Is that so?" I heard her say, a little too loudly. Jesse didn't seem to even notice her nervousness. He went on talking. I heard the words "castle" and "The Plan", and figured he was talking about that S*hit organization. Or S.H.I.T. Whatever.   
  
I looked back at Rose. She was smiling a little.   
  
"Ok, Rose," I said, making my voice as angry as I could when concerning her, "you will not read my mind anymore. Or Jesse's. Do you understand? It's not nice. You're…violating our privacy."  
  
Instead of getting upset, Rose seemed kind of satisfied. She looked back ahead, that little smile still tugging at her lips. "Yes, Mommy."  
  
The city was very pretty. Much nicer than Hell Mountain. Cleaner. Not so many clubs and *orgies happening all over the place, so Rose started asking me questions about you-know-what. Not so much crime. Just a clean, bustling city. Not that there weren't clubs and stuff. Everything was just much quieter. Much more appropriate for Rose. I liked it just because of that.  
  
But, like I said before, it was also very pretty. The buildings were made of that weird glass-like material that composed the dome. The thing with the dome, was that from the outside, it was able to camouflage to look just like the desert, almost invisible, while from the inside, you could totally see the perfect sky, full of beautiful stars. Which was why it was still standing. Paul hadn't found it yet.   
  
Since the buildings were made of the same material, you couldn't see from into them…but from the inside, every wall facing the outside was a window. At least, that was the way Jesse had described it earlier. It sounded awesome, if you were high up.  
  
Another thing about this city is that it had plant life. Gardens! Trees! Grass! Lush foliage! It was a beautiful sight. The dome was a controlled environment. Meaning, it was always comfortably warm, never too sticky and humid, and it rained artificially once a day for ten minutes, in order to keep the plants well watered.   
  
The sidewalks weren't too crowded right now, you know, considering that it was almost midnight. And most people here seemed to be on normal sleeping schedules. Good.  
  
Ahead of us, there was a ringing sound. It was so strangely familiar, but I didn't realize…  
  
"A telephone!" I said, running up to where I heard it. On Jesse. The ringing was coming from somewhere on Jesse. "You have a telephone?"  
  
Jesse gave me a weird look and turned away from me, pulling out a…  
  
"A cell phone!" I said, and I laughed. It was so long since I had seen a phone. You have no idea how beautiful it was.  
  
Jesse waved me into silence, then said into the phone, "Yeah, I'm coming back early. I have some guests who need a place to stay." He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Yes, some guests." Then he gave me a sidelong glance, and a small smile graced his lips. "Nope…it's a surprise. But get everyone down in the lobby. I want everyone to see them."  
  
Then he hung up. Cutting somebody off, who's furious screaming I had heard from three feet away.  
  
"Who was that?" I said.  
  
Jesse didn't even look at me as he said, "You'll see…oh. We're here."  
  
He stopped in front of…the biggest building I've ever seen in my life. Me, Rose, and Bonnie all did the same thing…crane our neck all the way back, staring in disbelief at the thing. So big, I almost fell from the feeling of vertigo it gave me. Suddenly I felt very tiny. At it's very top, so high it would have been impossible to read if it weren't so big, was a sign that said, "SHIT HEADQUARTERS: THE DARK KING WILL FALL".  
  
This was starting to sound like a city of fanatics. I mean, everything was about Paul. The whole dome was like a shrine to Paul's death. It was starting to get slightly creepy, even if the city seemed so perfect.  
  
Jesse was already at the front doors, which seemed so small compared to the building it was almost funny, waiting impatiently with his arms crossed. As we walked towards him, our eyes locked. Rose and Bonnie were still staring at the building, but I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from his. His gaze was…hypnotizing. My insides were squishing around inside my body…you know, that feeling you get when you meet the eyes of a guy you like. Except when that happens, you look away quickly and compose yourself. This…I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. He was like a magnet, pulling me to him. The closer I got to him, the more I felt like some kind of puppet. Until we all stopped about a foot in front of him.   
  
Then Jesse gave me a knowing smile, and his eyes seemed to tell me that he had gained some kind of victory over me. I looked away finally, knowing he sort of had. Just by looking at me, he had totally disconcerted me. I suddenly felt nervous. I wanted to get away from his strong presence.  
  
But of course, I couldn't just take off running down the street. That would be weird.  
  
Even though Jesse was still kind of looking at me, I wouldn't let him catch my eyes again. I stared pointedly at the door. He pulled the doors open for us, and held them as we filed in. I let Rose and Bonnie go in before me, and as I passed Jesse to go in, I felt his fingers slide lightly over my arm, leaving a tingling sensation and make me noticeably pick up my pace. I heard Jesse's dark chuckle right behind me, and I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming in frustration.  
  
Why did he have to be impossibly hot? I mean, this fact only made it harder for me to acknowledge that he was a total *asshole. At least, he had become one in the last seven years. And I was sick of having compassion for him because of what Paul did to him. He obviously had no compassion for me.  
  
**But he loves you so much, Mommy…so much, it hurts him inside.**  
  
Could he? Could he really?  
  
Then Jesse breezed passed me like I wasn't there, knocking my shoulder as he went. And a darker, much less welcome voice echoed in my head.  
  
**The Queen of Light will fall to the Darkness in her Heart.**  
  
What the hell did that mean, anyway?  
  
I didn't really have to time to think too much about it, though, since at that moment, a very familiar voice suddenly gasped out, "S-Suze!"  
  
I looked up to see that we were in a big room, dimly lit by lamps hung on the wall, and comfortably warm. In the middle, there was a man…he looked very familiar…in fact, he could almost be…  
  
"Doc?" I suddenly said. Was it him? "I mean—David? Is that…you?"  
  
Then the guy's face broke into a very familiar goofy grin, and I noticed his sticky-outy ears, and I felt my face spread into a huge smile.  
  
"Ohmygod—that IS you!"   
  
What ensued was like some kind of clique soap-opera family reunion. You know—running to each other, hugging, laughing, crying, the works. My moment   
  
was, of course, shattered by none other than Jesse.  
  
"I thought I said I wanted everyone to be here," he said grumpily, arms crossed and looking not one bit touched by what was happening.  
  
"Yeah, about that," Doc said, his voice strong and manly, no longer the lovable squeak I remembered. "They sent me here to get your "guests". They're all waiting in the meeting room."  
  
"Who else?" I said, ridiculously happy. "Dopey and Sleepy? Er—I mean, Brad and Jake? Are they there? Mom and Andy?"  
  
Doc had been nodding as he smiled, right until I said, "Mom and Andy". Then he froze and suddenly looked sad. "No," he said. "Mom and Dad are…well, they're gone."  
  
An uncomfortable silence settled over the room.  
  
Oh, not that I felt like bawling my eyes out or anything. I had thought they were dead for a while. But the thing was, I had also thought that Sleepy, Dopey and Doc were also dead. So, this was more like finding out they were back from the dead or something. Not like knowing they had been alive, and suddenly going through the shock of finding out Mom and Andy weren't.  
  
So I smiled stiffly, and said, "Well…at least you guys are here."  
  
Rose came up next to me, and said in a cute inquisitive voice, "Who's this, Mommy?"  
  
Doc looked at her in shock. "Mommy…?" Then it suddenly dawned on him, and he bent down to be eye level with her. That huge grin on his face again. "I'm your Uncle David," he said, touching her nose with his finger.  
  
"Pleased to meet you, Uncle David," Rose said, curtseying respectfully.  
  
"You have some more uncles waiting for you upstairs," Doc told her. "They'll be happy to see you."  
  
Rose smiled brightly. "Goody! Mommy told me all about you three. Dopey, Doc and Sleepy. You're Doc, right?"  
  
Doc gave her a very confused look. "Um…"  
  
"He's your Uncle David, Rose," I said, punching her a little on the back. She coughed and straightened.   
  
"Uh, yeah…um, Uncle David," she said sternly.  
  
"Let's go to the meeting room," Jesse said suddenly. He had been leaning casually against a pillar, watching the scene unfold with no expression on his face whatsoever. You'd think he would find it cute, but noooo. Jesse's too tough for nice family reunions.  
  
He was the same way when we finally opened the doors to the meeting room, and I looked inside and saw them. So shocked was I that I practically shouted, "Holy s*hit!"  
  
That was when everyone looked at me. Dopey and Sleepy, both looking older, but basically the same faces I remembered. Father D, who seemed to have been in the middle of a lecture, froze with his mouth open. Looking just as handsome as ever. Adam, and Cee Cee, who dropped a notebook she had been holding the moment she saw me. Seated between them, was a little boy, who looked maybe a year or two younger than Rose.   
  
The room looked like a scene in a movie where someone had pushed the 'pause' button.  
  
Cee Cee was the first to recover. I saw her close her eyes, and just go in this very small voice, "Suze…?"  
  
"Who is she, Mom?" the little boy piped up, fidgeting nervously, obviously not liking the silence that had settled over the room. "Is she an agent or somethin'?"  
  
Rose poked her head out from behind me, hearing a voice that sounded like someone her age. She caught sight of the boy, and waved shyly. The kid ignored her completely, glaring at me.  
  
"Get outta here, you ugly agent!" he demanded. He sounded like a royal brat.  
  
Then Cee Cee's face broke into a tentative smile, and she walked over to me. She leaned in close, like she was making sure it was me. Once my authenticity was verified, she threw her arms around me.  
  
"Oh, Suze!" she wailed, and I felt myself going red in the face. "It's been so long! Too long!"  
  
Then everyone got up and walked towards us, except the kid, who was still yelling something about "agents".  
  
"Um, everyone," I said, once Cee Cee, who had tears in her eyes, had let go. "This is my daughter, Rose."  
  
Rose slowly stepped forward. She looked around nervously, then curtseyed. "Pleased to meet you all," she said.  
  
Then the room exploded. Or, it seemed like it. Everyone just started talking at the same time. Some of them remarking how adorable Rose was, some telling me how much they missed me. It was incredible. Dopey seemed to have gotten much smarter than I remembered, but Sleepy still had that half-asleep look. Adam kept repeating how he just knew I would find a way out, and Cee Cee just looked at me and Rose with tears in her eyes. Father Dom was quiet, smiling at the whole scene like the good priest that he was.  
  
That was when I noticed that something was different about him. Father Dom, I mean. Something not quite right…  
  
"Father D!" I said suddenly, pulling out of the tangled crowd of people. "You—you have wings!"  
  
He did…two, perfectly white wings, just like mine.  
  
The room went quiet.  
  
"Why, yes, Susannah," he said kindly, his blue eyes sparkling. "I was a mediator too, remember?"  
  
Father Dom was an angel. Like me. Well, it made a heck of a lot more sense that Susannah Simon being an angel.  
  
"Yeah, well…it just never clicked in my head, I guess…"  
  
Father Dom put both of his hands on my shoulders. I looked into his eyes, and he had so much love in them it almost made me back away nervously.   
  
"Susannah," he said. "It's good to have you back with us."  
  
"Thanks, Father D," I said.  
  
"Mommy," Rose said, looking very confused. "There's so many people here…which ones are my uncles?"  
  
"Me," Sleepy said, stepping forward and grinning proudly, making him look much more awake than usual. "I'm Jake, and this is Brad."  
  
"UNCLE Brad," Dopey corrected with a grimace that made him look more like his old self.  
  
Rose smiled pleasantly. "Pleased to meet you, Uncle Jake and Uncle Brad," she said on a curtsey.  
  
Ugh…I'd have to teach her to just say hi. Damn princess etiquette lessons.  
  
Cee Cee was getting even more tears I her eyes now. "Oh…oh, she's so adorable…"  
  
"She looks like her mother," Adam said, beaming down at Rose.  
  
"Oh, I almost forgot," Cee Cee said suddenly. Then, in this really, really, REALLY loud annoying voice, she shouted, "JOEY!"  
  
"I'm right here, Mom," the little boy said, pushing his way past Adam and Cee Cee. "You don't have to be so loud." He held out his hand to me. "I'm Joey. You're not an agent, right?"  
  
I took his hand, and he gave me a surprisingly hard shake. "What's an agent?" I said cluelessly.  
  
"Good," he said, dropping my hand.  
  
I looked up from Joey, to Cee Cee and Adam, who both had the same look on their faces. The looks of two proud parents.   
  
"He's your son?" I said, completely floored.  
  
"Excellent observation," came Jesse's sarcastic remark, which I expertly ignored.  
  
"Pleased to meet you, Joey," Rose said on yet another curtsey. "I'm Rose, the crown princess."  
  
Joey eyed her with contempt. "You look funny."  
  
Rose's eyes snapped open in shock. "Huh?"  
  
"And I hate princesses."   
  
With that parting remark, Joey turned away from her, sticking his nose in the air snobbily. Rose blinked, then looked up at me. She was hurt. So many people had said worse things to her, and she was hurt by this kid's innocent remarks.  
  
As Cee Cee and Adam began scolding their son for being so mean, I leaned down to Rose and whispered, "I think he likes you."   
  
Rose's eyes shined with hope. "Do you really think so?"  
  
"Of course he does. It's in his eyes."  
  
"Good…" Rose said with a giggle. "Cause nobody messes with Princess Rose and lives to tell the tale."  
  
"Who is that woman behind you, Suze?" Cee Cee said suddenly.  
  
"Hmmm?" I looked behind me, and there was Bonnie, shuffling her feet and looking around nervously.  
  
"Oh, this is Bonnie, she's my—"  
  
"Slave…" came a voice in my head. I glanced over at Jesse, who was smirking at me in a way that made a tingle run down my spine.  
  
"—my…my friend. Traveling buddy."  
  
"Nice to meet you all," Bonnie said, her smile visibly quivering.  
  
"Don't be so shy, Bonnie," I said.  
  
Or, at least I tried to say that. You see, I had only gotten out the "Don't be…" before a very embarrassing thing happened.  
  
My stomach growled. Loud.  
  
Then I remembered I hadn't eaten a thing since breakfast that morning.  
  
"Hungry?" Adam said with a lopsided grin.  
  
"Um, yeah," I said.  
  
"Me too!" Rose piped up. "I want cow liver and caviar!"  
  
Everyone, including me, stared at her like she was crazy. Joey went, "Ewww…"  
  
Rose blushed. "Um—uh—or I could have a—um—steamed eel?"  
  
"That—that was palace food, Rose," I stammered out. "This is the real world. So we're going to have real food."  
  
Rose looked at me, completely confused. "But—that food tasted real enough…"  
  
"Well, we're going to introduce you to the wonders of pizza, now."  
  
Rose blinked. "Um—pi…sa?"  
  
"I love pisa!" Rose chirped happily.   
  
"It's called pizza," Joey said in a very frustrated sounding voice. "PIZ-ZA."  
  
"Pisa," Rose said with a smile.  
  
"What an airhead," Joey muttered, leaving Rose once again crestfallen.   
  
"Be nice, Joey," Cee Cee said sharply.  
  
I tell you, from what I've seen so far of Cee Cee's mothering skills, it was a wonder the poor kid wasn't a stuffy prude. She expected everything to be perfect, always…I suspected that Adam was the one who kept Joey sane.   
  
Cee Cee was leading Rose and I down what looked like the hallway of a hotel—a very expensive hotel—towards our room. Free room, of course.  
  
The S.H.I.T. headquarters building was just as big on the inside as it looked from the outside. Seriously…it had somewhere around four hundred floors. FOUR HUNDRED! It was mind-boggling. It was that big because it housed its major members, and was the place where leaders from around the world met to discuss tactics, plans, etc. I really only had a vague idea of the function of the place. I just knew it was really big, and really high class.  
  
Cee Cee stopped in front of a door. "This is your room, Suze." She opened the door, flicked on a light switch somewhere, and stepped aside so me and Rose could go in.  
  
It wasn't a room. It was a full-fledged suite. Enormous. Cavernous. The walls tastefully painted a light peach color, the white carpet at our feet very, very soft. I felt like I could fall asleep on the floor. The whole place was immaculate. The furniture was perfect. There was an adjoining dining-room/kitchen, and two doors leading to two bedrooms. And then there was the wall facing the outside.  
  
It was just like Jesse had said. The whole wall was a huge, massive window. I walked up to the wall and looked out. It was absolutely amazing. We were so high up it was actually hard to see the ground. But the sky…oh, the sky. It was like we were in outer space…almost the entire glorious view was the black sky, stars dotted throughout, and the huge red moon. I almost felt like I was flying.  
  
"Wow," Rose whispered, and I realized she was right next to me, her nose pushed up against the glass.  
  
"Hey, Suze," Cee Cee said. I looked back at her. She had a weird smile on her face. I knew what it was when she pointed to the door right across from ours, and said, "That's Jesse's room. You know, just in case you ever feel the need to go visit him, or anything…"  
  
"Um, thanks," I said.  
  
"And just so you know, the rooms are soundproof…" She winked at me, then said, "Get some sleep, you look awful."  
  
I nodded numbly, and watched Cee Cee leave, tugging Joey along by the arm. I stared after them for a minute, then looked back out the window, at the stars.  
  
"Is this where we'll live, now, Mommy?" Rose said.  
  
"Yeah…this is our home, for now," I said as I watched a comet slice the sky.  
  
I wish it could be like the old times between me and Jesse…that old love that overcame all those obstacles…  
  
"It's a good home," Rose said. She ran across the room, and jumped onto the couch. I laughed as she sank right into it, like it was made of jelly. When I sat beside her, I saw that it practically was. It couldn't be good for your back to sleep here.  
  
"Cozy," I remarked.   
  
"Yuppers!" Rose said, and she curled up at my side.  
  
Everything seemed so perfect. Impossibly perfect. I mean, after seven years, everything turned around so quickly, my head spun. Suddenly Jesse was alive. Suddenly I was free. Suddenly I was in this city, where all my friends and my stepbrothers were still alive. How did it all happen so fast?  
  
I sighed, closed my eyes, and let my head fall back. My hand was absently stroking Rose's head. Despite everything, I felt acutely miserable. And I knew exactly why.  
  
Jesse.  
  
And…ok, I guess part of it was Paul, too. I mean, what was he even doing there, on the rooftop of Roger's Place? Why were they fighting there, of all places? And…Paul would have killed Jesse. He had no hesitations to stomping on Jesse's head like that. No hesitations whatsoever.  
  
Oh, thank God I saved Jesse's beautiful head. I might have been hanging out with a ghost boyfriend again if I hadn't thrown myself over him like that.  
  
Well…not boyfriend. Even as a ghost, he would still hate me.  
  
Rose suddenly sat up. She looked really upset.  
  
"What is it, Rose?"   
  
"It's…it's…my lucky ribbon. I think I lost it."  
  
"Lucky…ribbon?" I had no idea she even had a lucky ribbon.  
  
"Y-yeah…" she looked down at the ground. "I…um…I think Jesse has it."  
  
"Jesse?" I said, blinking. "Why—why would Jesse have your lucky ribbon?"  
  
She glanced at me, then looked back down at the floor. "Um…you know, during the flight over here…I think I gave it to him to hold, so it wouldn't fall down or something…"  
  
"Oh," I yawned. "Well, I'm dead tired…we'll get it in the morning…"  
  
The look on Rose's face bordered on panic. "No! No, you have to get it tonight! Now!"  
  
"Um…why? You don't need it."  
  
"Yes…yes I do. It…it keeps away the nightmares. And—and I'll be unlucky without it."  
  
"Rose, I'm not going to—"  
  
"Please, Mommy?" Uh oh. Puppy-dog eyes. "Pleeease? He's right across the hall. You can just ask him if he has it…"  
  
A feeling of dread came over me at the thought of going over to Jesse's room, at this hour. Actually, of going to his room at any hour. Of having to talk to him.  
  
"Rose, I really think—"  
  
"Really quick, Mommy. Just go and ask him…"  
  
For some reason, I was getting the feeling that she had ulterior motives. I mean, I never even heard of this lucky ribbon of hers. But the look on her face was too much. I stood up with a sigh. "Ok then, Rose…let's go and ask him, then."  
  
"No!" Rose said suddenly.  
  
I eyed her. "Ok, what's wrong with you?"  
  
"No…I-I mean…you go. By yourself. I'm too tired. I'm going to bed, right now."  
  
"Rose, you never go to bed by yourself." Now I knew something was up.  
  
"Oh, but Mommy…" Her eyes suddenly closed half-way, and she fell over on the couch. "So much happened today…I can barely stand…"  
  
She was lying. She was up to something.  
  
"Ok, I'll go ask him, Rose," I said, walking to the door. "But, I'm telling you…if I come back here and find some kind of mess…boy, you'll be in trouble…"  
  
Rose smiled brightly at me. "Don't worry, Mommy!"  
  
I gave her one last warning look, and shut the door behind me.  
  
Mommy is so gullible, I thought, stretching out on the soft couch. Smiling to myself. I don't even have a lucky ribbon.  
  
I had to do it. I had to send her to his room. Because I know what she wants, and what he wants, even if they don't. And I want them to be happy.  
  
I shut my eyes. "Good luck, Mommy," I whispered as I drifted into sleep.  
  
I was right outside his door. Nervous as hell. I shouldn't be nervous. I was only going to ask him if he had Rose's lucky ribbon. Why was this so hard?  
  
What if he took one look at me, and slammed the door in my face, or something?  
  
If he did that, I would knock again. And when he opened the door again, I would bust in and kick his butt.  
  
Yeah. Good plan.  
  
I lifted my hand, swallowed and muttered a quick prayer, and knocked on the door. And waited. Nobody came. I knocked again, louder this time. Would I be rejected without the door even opening? I was just about to bang on the door a third time, when it flew open, revealing Jesse. Only wearing a towel, which was wrapped loosely around his hips. Dripping wet, his hair slightly spiky from a recent shower. Looking furious.  
  
"Woman," he said in a thunderous roar, "I told you to LEAVE ME—" Then he caught himself, and seemed to notice me for the first time.  
  
"I—um—uh—" I took a few small steps backwards, trying not to be too obvious about it. "Uh—I—you—"  
  
"Oh, Susannah," he said in a surprised sounding voice. "I thought you were someone else."  
  
I swallowed. Did he realize that he was standing in front of me, beads of water cascading down his incredible, nearly naked body?  
  
"Oh—no, just little old me," I said, my voice incredibly squeaky.  
  
Jesse looked me over once, still wearing my leather mini and tank top from before. His gaze stopped at my face.  
  
Ok, see here's the thing…I knew it was rude and all, and I knew Jesse was looking at my FACE, all expectant…but I was having trouble taking my eyes off his BODY. His abs were more incredible than I remembered…no, that wasn't just a rusty memory, they really WERE more incredible. It was unspeakably embarrassing, and I knew he was totally aware of where I was looking. I mean, how could he not see where I was looking? And how could I not look where I was looking? This was the single most embarrassing moment of my life. I can say that confidently. It was beyond embarrassing. It was into the realms of awkward stupidity, at least on my part.  
  
And even while it was awkwardly stupid, and I knew it, I still couldn't look away. I raised my eyes to his chest…oh, gods, what a chest…  
  
Then one of his muscles flexed. Not self-consciously or anything. Jesse actually made the muscle flex. He was so confident about his body, it was infuriating.  
  
WHY IS JESSE SO DAMN PERFECT?????  
  
Well, when the muscles flexed, I kind of jumped back, totally startled. I realized then that as I had been looking, Jesse had leaned against the doorframe. Then I met Jesse's eyes. And it was the same problem as his body. Couldn't tear my eyes away.   
  
"Enjoying the view, querida?" he said, with a lazy grin.  
  
"Um, I wanted to know if—" I turned that sentence on purpose into a cough. Why? Because my voice had been so squeaky, it almost sounded like I was wheezing.  
  
Then Jesse stepped aside, and said the silkiest, sexiest voice I had ever heard, "Would you like to come in, Susannah?"  
  
Just like that. My name was like butter on his tongue. I was melting in the hallway.  
  
I giggled nervously, and said in a voice that at least sounded human, "Um, actually, I just wanted to, um, know, if—"  
  
"Don't be silly, now," Jesse said with a suggestive-looking smile (at this point, anything looked suggestive), and he reached out, grabbed me around the waist, and pulled me into his room.  
  
A/N: I didn't like that chapter too much, but I'm just happy to finally be able to post again. So please REVIEW.  
  
TTFN 


	9. Dreamscapes

A/N: Hey guys! Heh heh...don't kill me...I had writer's block. I still do. That's why this chapter sucks so bad. And I have tons of school work. And the website is still giving me issues. See? Triple-wammie. God hates me because I'm writing about angels and demons falling in love. I'm also becoming increasinly afraind that ff.com will delete my stories for lemony content...*sobs*...anyway...I wrote this chapter because I felt so bad for leaving everyone hanging. Hope it's not too sucky...  
  
Rebirth—Chapter 8  
  
I heard the door close behind me, all by itself, and I knew I was in trouble. Soundproof, so nobody could hear me scream while he murdered me. Or…or did whatever else. A savage rape/murder. That seemed about right. Especially when he pulled me up against him real tight, looking down at me all hot and evil. And I put my hands on his chest and tried to push away, but the only thing that did was for me to feel how truly solid and muscled he was.  
  
Finally, I quit fighting and went kind of limp in his arms. "Let me go." A little squeaky, but at least conveying some of the anger I felt. Because I was angry. I mean, who does he think he is, playing all these stupid games with me? Thinking I'll totally want him no matter what he does to me, just because of our history together?   
  
Well, of course he didn't let me go. He only leaned over a little closer, right in my face. Heart quickening…breathing embarrassingly ragged…I've got to break this off before I'm lost. I was becoming uncomfortably aware of the fact that the only thing separating me from…THAT…was a flimsy little towel. That wasn't helping me at all. It would be easier, also, if I wasn't feeling all his muscles against my body…and not, well, molding to him so well…just like on the motorcycle earlier, like two pieces of a puzzle.  
  
I looked at him, facing him with all the resolve I could muster in my current state, and said, "Jesse, we're over. I came here to get Rose's lucky ribbon. She said she gave it to you. So, I want it back, and then I'm leaving. I'm not here for…" I sort of trailed off as Jesse leaned even closer, until our lips were less than an inch apart. His breath was feathering lightly across my cheek. I swallowed. "…anything else."  
  
"Oh, are you sure you can't stay…just a bit?" Jesse said in this low rumble that sent shivers down my spine. I was getting a familiar tingling sensation in my lower belly.  
  
I swallowed again. "Um…yeah," I breathed out in this voice that sounded way different from the one I usually used.  
  
He brushed his lips across mine the tiniest bit. I felt currents of electricity course through my body from the point of contact, and I turned away from him. I couldn't do this. I couldn't let him. I had to prove to him that I was stronger than him. That I wasn't just a little *whore, like he so affectionately called me.  
  
"Oh, I think you know what you want, querida," he said, and I just knew he had one of his smiles on his face. But I refused to look at him. I tried to kind of lean away from him, you know, but he brought his mouth right to my ear, and whispered into it, "And the queen always gets what she wants…"  
  
"I'm not like that," I said loudly. "I won't let you. You…you're the one. You're the one who's the *whore, Jesse."  
  
His grip tightened on me, in what seemed like a warning. But I wasn't having it.  
  
"That's right Jesse. Kind of hard hearing the truth, isn't it? You're the worthless one here, I'm worth ten of you!" I turned to him, and looked him full in the face. He was frowning at me, and he had this really dangerous look in his eye. Like he could go crazy any second. "Worthless," I hissed, and Jesse's eyes narrowed into slits.  
  
Then he kissed me.  
  
Yeah, I just called him worthless. And for a second, he looked like he would kill me, or snap my wings off, or something. But he just closed his eyes, and captured my lips in his before I had time to turn away. Was he sorry? It was a good kiss. Gentle and caressing. Then I felt his tongue push its way through my lips, and I let him deepen the kiss. His lips were so soft and warm…  
  
Then I felt this weird rumble in his chest, like some kind of animal growl. And I thought, Uh oh. And maybe he caught that stray thought, cause I felt him smirk against my mouth.  
  
Then his lips curled back, and his abnormally long incisors were cutting into my lips. I didn't even realize what was happening until I felt something trickling down my chin, and I tasted the coppery flavor in my mouth.  
  
He was biting me. Chewing on me. That weird growl still coming from him.  
  
I freaked. Totally freaked. I mean, my whole body was going into spasms, I was punching and scratching, but he only pulled me tighter against him until I was practically immobile, and he dug his teeth deeper, cutting into my gums, and my tongue. Sucking, DRINKING my blood, and he seemed to like the taste. It wasn't just the pain that was causing my eyes to tear. It was that he was actually doing this. The further away I leaned from him, the more he pushed, the harder he bit, like some kind of…vampire!  
  
My mouth was full of blood, and some of it was trickling back into my throat. And since I couldn't spit it out or swallow, it was going into my windpipe. It was right about when I let out a kind of gurgled choking sound that he lifted his head away from me with this gasp of delight. Leaving me to cough and spit my blood all over his carpet. Completely in shock. I mean, what the HELL did he do that for?!?!  
  
"What the HELL did you do that for?!?!" I screamed at him. I felt around my mouth quickly, trying to figure out exactly how much damage he had done. Surprisingly, there were only a few small cuts…but my god, it was like he was chewing my mouth, like…like…like gum! And there was so much blood…I still had the metallic taste of it on my tongue.  
  
Jesse…God, Jesse looked like some kind of psychopathic cannibal. His eyes were all lit up like he was excited, and his smile was truly gruesome…exposing all his extra-long teeth, which were all covered in MY blood.  
  
And, in this really deep, really sick way, I felt turned on.  
  
"That…that's disgusting," I said, looking away quickly. My tongue felt kind of numb. I hoped I hadn't lost my sense of taste or anything. My lips were ruined. No amount of lip gloss could cover up all the peels of skin from his "kiss". I felt like I had been violated.  
  
"Oh," he said. "Oh, you're so delicious…"  
  
"No more biting!" I yelled, seeing the way he was leering at me and leaning towards my lips. "Get away from me, you blood-sucking freak!"  
  
"Querida…" he faked a hurt look. But even with those sad looking eyes, there was NO way I could feel anything for him with his mouth covered in blood like that.  
  
"Ugh…wipe your face," I told him, looking away. "That was…so gross."  
  
"You liked it," Jesse said matter-of-factly, grabbing a towel and wiping his mouth with it. "I read your mind…you enjoyed it on a primal level, you just couldn't comprehend what I was doing. It will heal by morning, anyway. Next time, bite back. It's more fun."   
  
"There won't be a next time, Jesse," I said wryly. "And there's no way I would be reduced to chewing on someone's tongue."  
  
"It's a sign of affection among demons," Jesse informed me, tossing the towel aside. I avoided looking at it. The red smudges on it would probably make me queasy. Not that blood makes me queasy…it's just…you know.  
  
"Oh, so you were telling me you love me by eating my mouth?" I said with a laugh. "Wow, remind me to bite your lips off next time we kiss. If ever," I added.  
  
"Are you telling me you love me, as well?" Jesse said, quirking an eyebrow up.  
  
"I'm not telling you anything," I snapped at him. "That…that was a violation of my boundaries. And…it HURT! I'll have to eat oatmeal for a week now!" I gave him an icy glare. "You sadistic bastard…you wanted me to be reduced to eating oatmeal! It was your plan all along!"   
  
The fact that he had said "as well" registered dimly in my mind. "As well" meant that it was a mutual love. Had he meant to say it that way, or did it just slip out?  
  
Jesse let out this deep, evil little chuckle, and he leaned into me. I was getting flashbacks from the dream, the way he was looking at me…with all that anger, that pain…  
  
"The Queen of Light will fall to the Darkness in her Heart," he said with a sinister smile.   
  
What did he just say? WHAT DID HE JUST SAY???  
  
He loosened his grip on me, so that I was more comfortable, and his hands grazed my back gently. "And I am the darkness, Susannah. Surely, you know this. I am darker than he…I would have destroyed the world…"  
  
"No you wouldn't Jesse," I said, finding it suddenly hard to breathe. "You…you're the good guy…"  
  
He threw his head back and laughed. And when he did that, I seriously doubted my own words. He sure didn't sound like any good guy to me, the way he was laughing.  
  
"You still think that?" he said, looking back at me. His eyes had a malicious glint in them that made me start to get, well…scared. The same fear in the castle, when he was hiding in the shadows, watching me, hating me…  
  
"You still have yourself convinced that I'm good?" he said in disbelief, and then he laughed some more. "I share a soul with evil! I'm evil! Evil! PURE EVIL!"  
  
"No…you think you are, but…there's good in you, Jesse," I said in a small voice. Was there? "I mean, if you were evil, you wouldn't have helped us. You would have killed me, and Rose, and…and…"  
  
"How do you know I'm not just biding my time?" Jesse said.  
  
Oh, god. Oh god, he DID look evil. I was in the arms of evil. Goddammit, why do I always end up with evil guys?  
  
"Can I ask you a personal question?" Jesse asked suddenly. Just like that, the evilness was gone from his face. I just didn't understand this guy anymore.  
  
I eyed him. "Not if you're biding your time to kill me. Not if you're "pure evil", and you want to destroy the world. If that's the case, I'm very sorry, but you can just go to hell."  
  
"Hmm…" He looked thoughtful as he stroked my cheek. "I already have."  
  
I was relieved when he finally let go of me at that point. I stumbled back a few steps, and watched him warily. Casting me a final inscrutable glance, he turned away from me. I watched his muscular back walk away from me and disappear into the still-steaming bathroom. The door shut behind him.  
  
Well, now what? Was he expecting me to leave? Would he get mad if I was still here when he came out? Or would he get mad if I was gone?  
  
Clearly, Jesse has forgotten about a common practice I like to call COMMUNICATION.  
  
I wasn't about to go knock on the bathroom door…I mean, what if he came out without his little towel on? So instead, I turned my attention to the window-wall. Like my room, the entire wall was clear glass, open to the city and the sky. I stepped up to the glass, suddenly hypnotized by the millions of glowing lights over the sprawling city, and the millions of winking stars. Overhead, the blood-red moon hovered patiently, eternal. Burning like the sun. Burning brighter than the sun.  
  
I always did have a "thing" about the moon. I always thought it was one of the most beautiful things God ever created.  
  
Is there even a God? Is he sitting on his royal ass up there in the land of milk and honey, watching this dead world? If I am his angel, why didn't he take care of me and Jesse? Why did he leave us to fester, and rot into these disgusting souls we've become? What is meaning of life, anyway?  
  
Why do I even care?   
  
Normally, I wouldn't. But lately, I've realized that Rose is the only reason I do.  
  
I stepped closer to the glass, spread my hands over it, pushed my face into it. I loved the sense of vertigo, like I would tip over and fall into the endless abyss at any moment. Just fall into the sky, and float through the stars, and watch my memories drift by and away from me.  
  
"Don't think too much, you'll hurt yourself."  
  
He came up beside me. I ignored him, staring at the moon, letting it sooth the beast within.  
  
"You like the moon that much?"  
  
Suddenly I wondered what he was wearing. What new temptation would he place before me? What new invention would he wave in my face, and taunt me with?  
  
"Why don't you ask Paul to buy it for you?"  
  
I tore my eyes away from the sight of eternity. For a moment, I had felt myself falling into it, for real. I wasn't ready for that. Not yet. If anything ever happened to Rose, then I would gladly welcome it.  
  
"Jesse, we need to talk."  
  
"Yes we do," he agreed.  
  
He was wearing…pajamas. Just regular old plaid pj's, 100% polyester. The shirt was unbuttoned, providing a nice view. I sighed inwardly—I guess he wasn't doing it on purpose. The only way he could NOT have sex appeal was if he wrapped himself in a garbage bag. So really, the problem was me and my over-active estrogen levels.  
  
He ran his fingers through his still-wet hair. No gel, I noticed. His hair was naturally perfect. Figures. The move was so familiar and Jesse-like that the tension in me finally broke. I took a deep breath, and watched the moon again.  
  
"Jesse, there are some things you should know about me. Some things I thought were obvious to you, but I guess I was wrong in thinking so."  
  
I could feel him watching expectantly.  
  
"Well, first of all, I love you. At this point, I wish I didn't, because then it would hurt me so much when treat me like a piece of gum on your shoe. But I can't help it. If you really want me away from you so badly, then I will go away. Just know that I will eventually learn to hate you."  
  
"Susannah…I don't want you to go away. Just—"  
  
"And I'm not gonna conform to whatever standards you for me. If that's the case, go find another slut to rut around with. And leave Rose alone as well. If I'm not good enough for you, and god knows Paul isn't, then our daughter must represent everything you hate."  
  
He winced at "our daughter". I didn't give a sh*t. I was through feeling weak and worthless.  
  
So I continued to stare at the moon, feeling its strength flow through me. In that moment, I felt like what I really was. The Queen of this broken world, standing and looking down at a broken man.  
  
"You're right, you know," Jesse said quietly. "She does represent everything I hate."  
  
"Then stay away from us."  
  
He looked down towards the city, and the defenses around his mind flickered briefly. For a tenth of a second, I felt his enormous pain and longing. Confusion.  
  
Then he turned and walked away again. I heard him throw himself onto the bed. I thought about him…and Paul. They shared a soul, they shared power, they shared a bond. They were two halves of a man. But…they were two men. Both in love with me. The more I thought about it, the more I didn't understand. I used to think Paul was the darkness, and Jesse was the goodness. Was it possible that somewhere down the line, the darkness and the light clashed and mixed? The Jesse before me was a product of the hell he endured, and the Paul at Hell Mountain was a product of the love he felt. The confusion of love and hate. And I was trapped in the storm of both their feelings. There was no way for me to bail out. There never was. I couldn't run away from Paul—I never really did. I cared for him only because he carried with him a piece of the old Jesse.  
  
I turned and looked at Jesse, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. I resented him because he carried with him a piece of Paul.  
  
"Maybe I should," Jesse whispered. "If I'm so much like Paul, and he's so much like me, then you two deserve one another."  
  
"Jesse, stop assuming things about me. Since first met in my bedchambers, you've been doing nothing but assuming things about me based on what you see in my head. You're seeing my thoughts, but you're not understanding them."  
  
"You really like the moon…"  
  
Hmmm, interesting way to change the subject.  
  
"And the stars…"  
  
"Uh—yeah…"  
  
"I never knew that about you, Susannah."  
  
"Uhhhh…"   
  
"Come here." He patted the space beside him.   
  
I stood stock still. Should I?  
  
"I won't do anything, Susannah. I just want you here, next to me. I want to show you something."  
  
I slowly approached the bed, and sat on the edge of it, next to his feet. I didn't dare get any closer.  
  
"Lie back," Jesse said softly.  
  
Not knowing what else to do, I did. Suddenly Jesse and I were lying side by side on his bed, our heads touching, staring up at his white ceiling. We were like that for about a minute before I said in my best Sherlock Holmes impression, "Fascinating."  
  
Jesse chuckled. "Isn't it, though? I could lie here and contemplate the whiteness of my ceiling all night. Just think about it: where does white come from? Who invented ceilings? Why is—"  
  
I laughed a little. I knew he was trying to make me laugh, and I smacked him playfully on the stomach. "Jesse…you've really changed."  
  
"I know." He stretched out a hand toward the ceiling, and suddenly all the white paint seemed to evaporate from it, revealing the stars and the moon.  
  
"Wow, that…that's pretty…"  
  
The whiteness began melting away from the walls, too, and slowly, the furniture began vanishing, like it was never there. I grabbed Jesse's hand, panicking slightly.  
  
"What—"  
  
"Shhhh." I watched as everything that seemed real and substantial dissipated into nothingness (including the door, I noticed with a shudder), until finally, the bed went as well. Jesse and I were left suspended in the middle of the spacey realm. I looked below us—the city was gone. Everything was gone, except for the stars, the moon, and the fiery-red earth far below us.  
  
"What did you do?!" I demanded, panicking. I started fighting desperately to get beck to earth, to Rose, but Jesse had a strong hold on my hand.  
  
"Susannah, relax—we are still in my room."  
  
I stared at the planet, getting smaller and smaller, farther and farther away.  
  
"We fell asleep, and I drew you into my mind."  
  
I blinked in surprise. "Oh…it's quite empty."  
  
He laughed. "I suppose it looks that way. But it's quite full. Full of crap perhaps, but full nonetheless. You did say you wanted to fall into the sky."  
  
"I didn't "say" anything."  
  
"Thinking is as good as saying."  
  
He pulled me over him, so my back was against his chest, and he spread his wings. I let mine drift apart as well, and I rested my hands lightly on his.  
  
Was he trying to apologize?  
  
ARE YOU TRYING TO APOLOGIZE?  
  
I jumped. My stomach seemed to fall into me feet. I had just heard my own voice, about a thousand times bigger than usual, projected through the blackness from an unknown source.   
  
"What was that?!"  
  
WHAT THE F*CK, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GET OUT OF HEAD?!?!  
  
"Oh my god!"  
  
OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?  
  
"Stop thinking so much," Jesse said quietly from behind my head. "I hear your thoughts in my mind day and night. Just shut up and let yourself drift."  
  
I did. I tried to. I really did.  
  
THIS PLACE IS SO PRETTY…JESSE IS SO GOURGEOUS…  
  
He didn't say a word.  
  
I WONDER WHY HE'S SO QUIET? WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET, JESSE?  
  
I was trying really hard to stop the thoughts from coming out. Seriously, I really was.  
  
OH, LOOK AT ME, I'M A PRETTY SPACE ANGEL! LA, LA, LA, LA, LA…  
  
Okay, maybe I wasn't trying so hard.  
  
OH DAMN, ROSE WENT TO BED WITHOUT BRUSHING HER TEETH…  
  
Jesse let out a snort of laughter.  
  
"I can't help it!"  
  
"Ah, querida. Just stop speaking to yourself. Think about a memory that we share."  
  
QUERIDA…HE SAID QUERIDA AGAIN…AND IT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE HE HATED ME…  
  
He turned me in his arms, so we could look at each other. His eyes were questioning. I didn't say anything. Partly because I knew I didn't have to.  
  
DO YOU HATE ME?  
  
His eyes gained a puppy-doggish slant. "Me? Hate you?"  
  
YEAH, DO YOU?  
  
"How could I?"  
  
THEN WHY?  
  
He looked away. "You know, we're husband and wife. Because of my bond to Paul, you are also bonded to me."  
  
OOOOH, A LOOOOVE TRIANGLE.  
  
I'M SUCH AN IDIOT.  
  
"We're married?" I said, trying to ignore the voice inside my head.  
  
I SHALL NOT BE IGNORED!  
  
"Yes," Jesse said. He let go of me, and drifted away a few feet. For a second, I was afraid he might leave me alone, and—  
  
DON'T GO!  
  
"Is there an off switch on this thing?" I demanded, putting my hands on my hips.  
  
"I wish there was." He closed his eyes, and started drifting in lazy circles.  
  
JESSE IS SO GOURGEOUS…  
  
"Ain't it the truth?"   
  
"Shut up!" I grabbed the nearest thing to throw at him, which incidentally turned out to be a No. 2 pencil. "Very funny," I said, tossing it over my shoulder. "You're never gonna get over that, are you?"  
  
"It was very funny," Jesse murmured with a smile.  
  
I drifted over to him, drifting beside him. "So, is there anything exciting to do in your mind?"  
  
"Plenty?"  
  
I glanced around. "Well, as far as I can see, your mind is still pretty empty. Which makes me wonder just what all those big boring books were for—ahhh!"  
  
I just been smacked in the back of the head with…a big boring book.  
  
"Hah freakin' hah." I snatched the book as it floated past me. "Well, let's see… 'To be, or not to be, blah blah blah'…"  
  
THIS GUY HAS NO LIFE. WHERE'S ALL THE HOTNESS, AND THE EVILNESS?  
  
"I thought that's what you were trying to get away from?" Jesse said, still not opening his eyes, still smiling his secret little smile.  
  
"Hey, don't look at me. Seriously, that voice is NOT me. There's an evil spirit living inside me, saying all this stuff."  
  
LET'S CUT THE CRAP AND GET TO THE GOOD PART, LOVER BOY.  
  
"See? I totally did not just think that!"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"I don't even know what the hell the "good part's" supposed to be!"  
  
"I can only begin to imagine."  
  
I'LL BET YOU CAN IMAGINE THE WHOLE THING. I KNOW I CAN.  
  
I felt my face starting to heat up. Where were those thoughts coming from?  
  
"You know what Jesse?"  
  
"What?"  
  
I drifted away from him, above him, and closed my eyes. "I…I forgot to ask you…"  
  
I felt him moving closer to me.  
  
"Ask me what?"  
  
"What did you do with my ring?"  
  
"Ring?"  
  
"Yes, my engagement ring."  
  
DID YOU THROW IT AWAY? DID YOU HATE ME THAT MUCH?  
  
"No, I didn't. I wore it on a chain around my neck. I tried to get rid of it, but I couldn't."  
  
WHY WON'T YOU JUST SAY IT?  
  
"Say what?"  
  
SAY WHAT I WANT TO HEAR.   
  
"Words are cheap."  
  
NOT WHEN THEY MEAN SOMETHING.  
  
"Did your words mean something?"  
  
My eyes snapped open, and my mouth hung open in disbelief. He was below me, looking up at me with a very grave expression on his face.  
  
HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?! DO YOU THINK I WOULD LIE?!   
  
"I don't know…"  
  
YOU JERK!  
  
"I don't know…anything, anymore…"  
  
His saddened eyes turned away, and he faded from existence. He left me alone.  
  
"J-Jesse?"  
  
Did he just die in his sleep or something? Was I trapped here forever?  
  
I noticed something coming towards me. A door. A very familiar looking door. It went right passed me, and kept going. I leaped for it, grabbing the knob. It stopped as I touched it. I just floated there, staring at my hand on the knob, wondering if I should…  
  
SHOULD I OPEN IT?  
  
I did. I opened it. Gravity flew back into me, making me slightly dizzy. I shut the door behind me, leaning heavily on it. Jesse was sitting on the bay window, dressed in his old cowboy outfit, looking out at the rain sliding down the glass. Spike was on his lap, purring loudly and glaring at the girl on the bed, who was lying on her stomach, flipping through a magazine.  
  
"You know, you look like Johnny Depp," My young-sounding voice piped out from behind the magazine.  
  
Jesse's head turned away from the rain, looking at my young self. I remembered exactly what I thought at that moment.  
  
HE DOESN'T REALIZE HOW ADORABLE HE IS.  
  
"Who is…Johnny Deep?"  
  
"Not Deep, Depp." I watched myself point at the page in the magazine. Jesse made a face.  
  
"Him?"  
  
Little Suzie looked at Jesse, then back at the magazine. "You don't think so?"  
  
" 'Sexiest Man Alive'," Jesse said, reading the title of the article. "You think I look like the sexiest man alive, Susannah?" He was now smiling with what looked like pity.  
  
This pathetic sixteen-year-old child has a schoolgirl crush on me, I imagined him thinking. How sad.  
  
"Actually, I was wishing I was a little more alive," Jesse's voice echoed through the room.  
  
"Um, NO," the girl on the bed said in a very squeaky voice. "No, I just thought there was…a resemblance…" She put the magazine back up to defend herself. She didn't see as Jesse's smiling lips formed words she wouldn't hear for at least another year, and he dematerialized. She faded away as well.   
  
With a sigh, I flopped onto my good old bed, staring up at the whiteness of my ceiling.  
  
"What's the meaning of life?"  
  
"I dunno. To die."  
  
"Lovely. You know what I think the meaning of life is?"  
  
"Yes, but say it anyway."  
  
"Tupperware."  
  
"Oh…I was not expecting that."  
  
"What were you expecting?"  
  
"To take care of Rose."  
  
"Oh." I rolled onto my side, and closed my eyes. "I suppose…"  
  
THIS IS SO WEIRD. I'M TALKING TO THE GODDAMN WALLS.  
  
I'M THE ONE WITH NO LIFE.  
  
"Wake up, Susannah. It's morning."  
  
"I don't wanna go to school today."  
  
He laughed. "Neither do I. That's why we're going to play today."  
  
"That sounds fun."  
  
"Care to accompany me to Roger's Place tonight?"  
  
"A date?"  
  
"If you wish it to be."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Open your eyes."  
  
I did. I was staring at the white ceiling again. His warm body was beside me. My hand was clutched tightly in his. The room was draped in grey morning light.  
  
"You know, I just came out of your mind…and I still think it's pretty much empty."  
  
"Maybe it is." He lifted my hand, and slipped something over my finger. "Or maybe you just weren't looking hard enough."  
  
I felt tears hiding behind my eyes, and a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. He pulled me into him, and a strange feeling came over me.  
  
"Happiness…"  
  
He buried his face in my hair, and I was glad I washed it. "I'm sorry, querida."  
  
"It's alright. It's better now."  
  
"I never hated you."  
  
"…I never hated you either."  
  
I let the silence wash over me. It was perfection. Beyond description…  
  
"Pick you up at eight?"  
  
I smiled. Perfection. "Okay."  
  
I was falling in love all over again. I just slept with Jesse…  
  
"We just slept together," I suddenly said.  
  
"Yes, and you're falling in love all over again," he mumbled back.  
  
"No, no—we just slept together." I blinked in disbelief. "If anyone finds out—"  
  
"Who cares?"  
  
"Christ! Rose will think we—" I sat up, struggling out of the massive bed, and fell over the edge, right onto my butt.   
  
"Sh*t!"  
  
"Rose is still sleeping."  
  
"But Bonnie—" I stood and stumbled towards the door. As I reached for it, Jesse suddenly materialized in my way.  
  
Whoa—déjà vu.  
  
He was looking at me with those dark, sorrowful eyes of his. Jesse eyes, not demon eyes. He was way too beautiful. I thought of how stupid my thoughts sounded echoing in his head.  
  
HE'S LOOKING AT ME WITH THOSE DARK, SORROWFUL EYES OF HIS. HE'S WAY TOO BEAUTIFUL. BLAH BLAH BLAH…  
  
Now I knew why he always seemed so pissy with me.  
  
"Susannah—"  
  
"Oh, Jesse, before I forget—do you have Rose's lucky ribbon? She said she gave it to you…that's why I came last night."  
  
We stared at each other with blank looks.  
  
"She never gave me any ribbon."  
  
Huh?  
  
She was acting very strangely last night…like she was up to something…  
  
"That girl is growing up to be just like you," Jesse said with a chuckle.  
  
"Yes, she's very smart," I said through clenched teeth, wishing for a moment that she could fly just so I could toss her out the window without guilt. "A little too smart…"  
  
"Are you leaving so soon?" Jesse inquired, cocking his head to the side.  
  
"Well," I gave him the most evil glare I could summon at the moment, "as soon as you get out of my way."  
  
"Are you sure you can't stay..." he lowered his head slightly, his eyes looking down at me from that wicked angle. "…just a bit?"  
  
Oh, that's how it's gonna be. Nobody plays mind games with Susannah Simon and gets away free!  
  
Well, nobody except Jesse, usually.  
  
I reached out a hand, casually, and laid it on his chest. "I'd love to Jesse, I really would…" I trailed my fingers down, scraping my nails lightly over his perfect abs. He gave me no reaction except for a feral grin. "But I can't."  
  
"Hmmm…" he flashed me those sharp canines, and stepped aside. The door slowly swung open, seemingly of its own accord. "See you later, then."  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
The whole thing suddenly seemed like a dream, way too good to be true. Way too sudden. He was opening the door to let me out…but would he ever let me back in?  
  
He grabbed my arm. "You think too much," he said with that damn grin, and he gave me a quick kiss that lasted roughly .5 seconds.  
  
At least he didn't bite.  
  
"Don't forget our date," I told him as I turned away and finally walked out.  
  
The door shut quietly behind me. I stood still, thinking, wondering about what to do. The path seemed so clear, but was it really that simple? Things were never that simple for me…there had to be a catch.  
  
He still hadn't said it. I lifted my left hand, and stared at the ring. The ring…that had to mean something, didn't it?  
  
Across the hall, the door to my room opened. Bonnie poked her head out, and peered at me through sleepy eyes.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
I flushed. "Um—er—yeah—um—we didn't—"  
  
"Don't worry, your High—um, Suze. I will not tell a soul."  
  
"But we didn't…"  
  
Oh, what the hell. Let everyone think we did. And even if things weren't so perfect, let them seem that way. I had a date with Jesse. My friends and family were here beside me. Paul was somewhere far away. Rose was safely tucked into her bed. And Bonnie had apparently stayed up all night worried about me.  
  
I smiled.  
  
"Thank you, Bonnie," said as I walked past her.  
  
A/N: Ah, no cliffie. Is that bad? Oh well. At least I've got a vague idea for the next chapter, so it shouldn't be so long.^_^ REVIEW!  
  
TTFN   
  
(Means "ta ta for now") 


	10. Angel of Death

A/N: Ahem...ok, yeah, it's been, like, five months. But seriously. I had writer's block. MAJOR writer's block. And school's been a real female dog lately. I can't write 24/7. But the good news is, summer's coming in two weeks. And that means that soon, I will have tons of time to do anything I want, including sleeping, eating, and writing mediator fanfiction! YAY!  
  
Unfortunately, this chapter is rather short. However, important things happen. I had a sudden inspiration and had to write this out. I've already started the next chapter. I swear it will be out sooner than this one! But yeah...  
  
NOTE: This chapter is rather dark, even for this story. Well, it seemed dark when I was writing it...not the humor or romance of the last chapter. Just thought I'd say that. I don't know why.  
  
Sigh.....I shall shut up now.  
  
Rebirth—Chapter 9  
  
I was in that same dark place again.  
  
The place where the angels and demons performed their sensual dance. Where Jesse was in shadow and where he still turned hateful eyes on me. Where the angels screamed and the demons chanted.  
  
But this time, something was different...  
  
This time, one dark being rose above the demon army, above Jesse. He looked down at us and smiled. A smile that promised slow and painful retribution. A smile that promised death.  
  
Jesse froze in front of me, the evil grin slipping away from his perfect face, and his eyes changed. The anger left them. The pain left them...everything left them. Jesse stared at me with blank, darkened eyes...jarringly familiar eyes...  
  
"Jesse?"  
  
"Do you love me?" he said in a monotone voice that scared me.  
  
"W-what?"  
  
"Do you love him?" the dark god's voice rumbled from above us, dripping with sarcasm and malice.  
  
"Do you love me?" someone said from behind me. I spun around sharply, and found myself face-to-face with Paul, who wore an almost identical expression as Jesse. But they were polar opposites: where Jesse wore black and stood before an army of evil, Paul was a shimmering whiteness, standing before the angels. The good side. My side.  
  
"Do you love him?" The shadow repeated.  
  
"I..."  
  
I stared at Paul a moment longer, with his handsome face and icy blue eyes...then back at Jesse, dark beauty framed by soft, touchable hair. The image went against everything I thought I knew about them. Why was Paul on the good side? Why was Jesse on the evil side? I just...didn't understand anymore. It wasn't as clear-cut as it used to be. They were both kind of the bad guys, but they were both also good...  
  
"You must choose."  
  
I stared up at the darkness looming over all. God? No...totally evil vibes. Or maybe God was just evil. I'd seen stranger things. I would buy that he was the devil...but wasn't Paul supposedly the devil? The king of the demons? Or...or maybe there really was something even darker out there...only it wasn't out there. It was here.  
  
"Have you been giving me these dreams?" I demanded, my voice braver than I felt.  
  
"You must choose."  
  
"Answer me, you asshole! Are you behind this? All of this?"  
  
All of this meant exactly what it said. All of it. Everything. Was he the root of it all?  
  
He laughed, and it slithered across my skin, hot and slick. I shuddered violently, and suddenly I wasn't so brave.  
  
"Choose."  
  
I looked towards the light, towards Paul, towards the angels. The void was eerily silent after the screaming of the angels. The Queen of Light will fall to the Darkness in her Heart? I don't think so. I can kill that destiny, right now.  
  
I took a step towards heaven, which didn't look too heavenly anyways, and Paul's blank face gave a small smile. He held his arms out for me. I imagined stepping into the warmth of those arms, every night, arms that cared for me, eyes that looked at me and saw a goddess in a rolling sea of regret...and I took another step.  
  
"Susannah..."  
  
His voice stopped that last step. It was...so weak. So tired sounding. I turned, and met Jesse's eyes. There was a long moment, seemingly removed from time, removed from even this unreality. He didn't move or say a word. He just stood there, pleading to me with his dark eyes, darker than usual. I lifted my left hand. In this dream place, the ring was gone.  
  
"Choose."  
  
"Shut up, I'm choosing!"  
  
More laughter, and something icy crawled inside my stomach. I crossed my arms over my chest, shivering. The coldness was in my bones.  
  
"Jesse...why are you on the evil side? Why do I have to go to the evil to be with you? I...I don't want to fall the Darkness. I don't want to be evil...oh God..." I felt the unpleasant prickling behind my eyes. "Oh God...if there really is a God, why the hell is he making me make this choice?! Why does my love have to lead to evil?!"  
  
I felt the tears slide out, and I covered my face in my hands, refusing to let them fall. To my surprise, a sob was ripped from my throat. I tightened my throat and let silent tears roll into my hands. I felt hands slide over my arms, around my waist. I fell back against that solid chest, and refused to open my eyes.  
  
"Suze..." Paul breathed into my ear. "Thank you for choosing me."  
  
"Thank you for choosing..." Their hisses slithered through the air. "Thank you for choosing..." Hands snaked up my legs...hundreds of hands, smoothing up and down my legs, sliding around my waist, touching my hesitantly at first, then reaching higher, over my stomach, my breasts, my shoulders. Cool and soothing.  
  
"Thank you for leaving him, Suze."  
  
"H-him?!" My hands were suddenly torn from my face by the thousands of hands, and I screamed. I was neck-deep in the embrace of all the demons of hell, leering at me, groping me, drowning me. Behind me, Paul clung to me like a vice. My vision was suddenly blurred by fresh tears. In the distance, I saw Jesse, walking away from me, very slow...  
  
"NO!" I screamed. "No, LET ME GO!"  
  
"Suze, you've made your choice," came Paul's disapproving voice from behind me.  
  
"Yes, you've made your choice," came that dark rumble of corrupted dreams.  
  
"You motherfuckers tricked me!" I stared at the slowly vanishing Jesse, willing him to turn around. "Jesse! Jesse, please! Come back!"  
  
He didn't. And I didn't blame him. Something old and empty filled me. The day I lost him. The day I was married to evil while hung on a cross of death. I was losing him again.  
  
I shut my eyes. "It's just a dream..."  
  
"No..." Hands holding me tighter, keeping me trapped in his arms. "No, it's more than a dream, little Susie. Much more than a dream."  
  
Little Susie? Little Susie?  
  
"I'm not a child," I said, speaking low. "I'm not a child, and I'm not weak."  
  
Laughter. This time, I felt nothing.  
  
"I don't need any of this shit."  
  
I felt something struggling to awaken, something deep and dormant. It was a warm glow, flickering and barely staying alive. I threw all my rage and hate into it, trying to give it the power to manifest itself. I remembered this power. It appeared years ago, to pull Jesse out of Hell. It had come on its own last time, but this time I had to force it out. I had to capture it, control it. But my hate was killing it...  
  
"God..." I swallowed, and let myself go limp. "God help me. Please."  
  
The warmth grew, spreading over me, and the cold hands halted.  
  
"Please. Give me strength."  
  
The warmth was scalding my skin now, like a fire blazing around me. The hands drew back abruptly. Only Paul held on, fighting it.  
  
"You chose me! You're mine!"  
  
I turned in his arms, and he let me. When our eyes met, he gasped. And I saw why. In his eyes, I saw mine, reflected back at me...and they were a deep, golden glow, like molten lava, swirling and flickering, holding a power that was pure light, with just a hint of darkness. The darkness was me. The light was something else.  
  
"I belong to nobody."  
  
Paul suddenly cried out, and fell to his knees, refusing to let go. His arms slid to my knees, but stayed around me. The heat emanating from me was nearly unbearable for him, and I witnessed every torment in his eyes.  
  
"Please! Please, my queen! Please! Susie!"  
  
I didn't want to see that pain anymore. I gave a slight kick of my leg, and he flew back as if he had been slammed by a wrecking ball.  
  
What was this power...?  
  
I held up my hands, and they were the molten lava of my eyes, shimmering in the heat. The sea of demons had formed a ring around me, refusing to come nearer. I looked up, and the darkest of them all, and he was frowning down at me. Paul watched me from the edge of the ring with something akin to shock, but more awe and wonder.  
  
"What have you done, angel?" The voice, previously holding a mocking, condescending tone, was now grave.  
  
"Nothing," I said. I smiled, and stared up at him. I drew my red-gold wings close to me. He narrowed his eyes at me.  
  
"What are you doing, angel?"  
  
My smile widened. I must have looked completely insane. "Nothing."  
  
"Do not lie, angel."  
  
The smile dropped from my face. "I will kill you for tricking me."  
  
The eyes widened, the smile returned. But a moment later, faster than a blink of the eye, I was there. I was suspended in front of his giant shocked face. The speed unnerved even me.  
  
"You...you've awakened." His voice held disbelief. Some anger. But mostly something that sounded suspiciously like reverence.  
  
"Awakened?"  
  
"Alexiel...the Angel of Death."  
  
Well, this was news.  
  
"But how...?"  
  
"Did you say 'Angel of Death'?"  
  
"You...you don't know?" He squinted suspiciously at me. "You don't know." Then he threw back his head and laughed high and loud. "You don't know! You don't know how to use the power!"  
  
I roared in rage, and the power flew through me like a great jolt of electricity. I saw everything through a haze of red, heard distant screaming as my hands tore into his flesh, and he crumbled into ash. I felt the fire swirl around me, and watched with a smile as the black army vanished as if swept clean by an invisible hand, watched their faces twist in pain and loved it.  
  
But where was Jesse?  
  
Where did you go?  
  
"It's only a dream..." I murmured.  
  
"It's only a dream, Susannah." He was smiling.  
  
"Is it? Am I...Alexiel?"  
  
"Wake up, Susannah."  
  
I woke up.  
  
The first thing I felt was an uncomfortable heat in the room, and I thought for one wild moment that the heater might be on a little too high. Then I realized the heat was coming from me...  
  
"No...It's only a dream..."  
  
I felt like I had a terrible fever. I needed water. I needed something to cool down. Now.  
  
I stumbled from the bed. My legs wobbled and I fell to the ground, feeling weak.  
  
"Dream..."  
  
I crawled desperately towards the bathroom. The light was on, as if someone had been here.  
  
"I didn't choose anyone..."  
  
I pulled myself to the side of the massive tub, turned the knob for cold water with shaking hands. I had to shut my eyes when I saw my hands were the golden color of fire. The water roared into the tub, a massive waterfall, pounding painfully in my over-sensitive ears. I screamed with the pain, and forced myself to my feet, rearing back clumsily, away from the monstrous noise, and slammed against the sink. I moaned in pain, and raised my face slowly. My heart was thudding in my ears, becoming louder every second. I met my own eyes in the mirror...  
  
"No! NO!" I shut my eyes again. I covered my ears with my hands. The water...the pounding...those weren't my eyes...  
  
"It's just a dream, Susannah."  
  
"No it isn't!" I stumbled backwards, almost fell, but my back of my legs banged against the side of the tub. I lost my balance, and fell screaming into the freezing tub of water.  
  
Time stopped.  
  
The roar was far away. The heat was sucked away from me in a flash. The world was shifting back and forth, a faraway illusion. My body was suddenly numb. My dark hair drifted into my eyes, taking everything away. I felt myself slipping down, sinking lower into the water. The pressure in my lungs was the only thing reminding me I was still alive, but I couldn't move. I didn't want to move. I didn't to go back up there, into the harsh sounds, and see what was in the mirror again.  
  
What am I?  
  
I have to go back up...for Rose. For my date with Jesse. For my life. But...I can't feel the cold anymore. All feeling is gone. I can't move.  
  
I can't—!  
  
I opened my mouth to scream, and the water rushed in. My lungs convulsed from the sudden rush of coldness. I tried to cough, but the water kept sloshing down my windpipe, and I gagged, sucking even more water down. I swallowed desperately, tried to spit it out, but it was a living creature, filling me, killing me. Through the cloud of my hair, I saw someone's face float into view, looking down at me. I called soundlessly, but more water reached inside of me. The world was on mute. The face's mouth opened, eyes widened. Crying. A little crying girl.  
  
Rose! I tried to scream. Rose, pull me out! Pull me out!  
  
But darkness surged over me as ice split through my body, and I fell into eternity.  
  
It's only a dream...but I can't wake up.  
  
Can't wake up...  
  
A/N: Was that a cliffie? Well, we all know she won't die. Hmmm...I'm bored. Did anybody here see the last episode of The Sopranos? Yeah, it was so awesome! I can't wait for the next one!  
  
o.O  
  
cough....yeah....tough crowd.....I know you all hate me for taking too long, but please be nice and REVIEW. I promise the next chapter will be awesome. I shall make it awesome. It shall be pure awesomeness.  
  
Oh, and on a side-note...I've decided to postpone my other story, "The Mediators", until I finish this one. Sorry to anyone who's reading it, but I have good reasons. So, yes, I am planning to definetely bring this story to a close soon. For real this time.  
  
TTFN 


	11. Warning and Confrontation

A/N: What did I tell you???? It's only been, like, three days!!!! It's a record!!!!! Be proud of me, I was thinking only of my lovely reviewers. And, I actually kinda like this chappy!!! Enough talking—enjoy!  
  
Rebirth—Chapter 10  
  
It seemed like a only a moment had passed before I was suddenly awake again.  
  
Well, not really so "suddenly". I became conscious of cool sheets sliding across my skin, fresh, chilly air, and someone's breath feathering across my cheek. The world was black, and seemed strangely mute. I could hear faint, fuzzy voices far away, and catch snippets of dialogue...  
  
"...the Plan..."  
  
"...we can't..."  
  
"...yes, but..."  
  
I recognized the voices: Father Dom and Cee Cee. I swam up from the darkness, gritting my teeth to gain full consciousness quicker, but my suddenly seemed to shatter in an earth-splitting migraine. I moaned pitifully.  
  
"Mommy!"  
  
The voice was right beside me. Suddenly the voices seemed clearer, and my eyes, which were wide open the whole time, accepted the light and came into focus. I was met first with Rose's young eyes and joyful smile. I smile back at her, and the movement brought painful twitches to my jaw, but I did it anyway. We smiled at each other for a moment, and it was somehow reminiscent of the day she was born, when we first looked at each other. That same hypnotic feel surrounded the moment, and I spoke the same words I said to her when I first held her: "Thank you for saving me."  
  
She pouted playfully. "Well, if I didn't save you, who would tuck me into bed?"  
  
I laughed quietly, and reached up to tousle her hair. Every moment, strength seemed to be returning to me. The dull ache was slowly subsiding. I wondered vaguely how I was recovering so quickly...  
  
Then I remembered.  
  
In came to me in a head-pounding jolt: Alexiel, Angel of Death.  
  
My head flew back, and I squeezed my eyes shut. I grabbed handfuls of the sheets, clenching them until me fists were numb.  
  
What am I?  
  
What am I?!  
  
"What the hell am I?!" I screamed.  
  
Rose's shocked face moved to the side, and Father Dom's and Cee Cee's faces floated into view.  
  
"Suze." A hand waved across my eyes, fanning cool hair onto my forehead. "Suze, snap out of it. You're stronger than this. You'll be alright."  
  
I blinked up at Cee Cee's purple eyes in numb shock. Father Dom was staring down at me with some concern...but more than that it was an intense gaze of concentrated interest.  
  
...Wow, I still wasn't used to them being back. It was...like magic. Dead seven years, then, POOF! Magic.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be alright," I mumbled. I started to sit up, expecting some sharp pain to throw me back down, but I made it up okay.  
  
"Mommy? Mommy, what happened?"  
  
I turned to face Rose, my face blank. I thought of the dream, the demons, the evil, my choice, the glow and the power...and I realized I wasn't ready to tell them. I wasn't ready to tell anybody. I felt my body even now gathering strength from...somewhere. The people around me, maybe? I don't know, but it was there. Somebody else's life force pumping into me in miniscule doses, slowly healing all my pains. I was sucking power from my surroundings to heal myself. I knew this instinctively, and I knew it had to do with the power that had awakened inside of me. Great power, scary power, swimming just below the surface. Power thrumming along my veins like plucked guitar strings. I also knew I could summon it, just as easily as I could lift my hand. A reflex. But I had no way of knowing what would happen if I did. And quite frankly, I was afraid to know.  
  
So I turned eyes on Rose that showed nothing, and said, "Mommy had an accident."  
  
She narrowed her eyes at me. "It was more than an accident, Mom."  
  
Mom. Whenever she called me "Mom", it meant he was about to go all "eight- years-old-going-on-forty" on me.  
  
"I fell into the tub."  
  
"There was blood on your bed."  
  
That was a surprise. "I...I'm not hurt. And it's not that time of the month or anything..."  
  
Yes, my young daughter knew about that stuff already. Kids grow up so fast these days.  
  
"It wasn't your blood."  
  
I met her with silence. I didn't know what to say to that. The room suddenly seemed colder, and I shivered. How did somebody else's blood end up in bed with me...?  
  
"It wasn't your blood, Mom. Whose was it?"  
  
Her eyes were emotionless, wintry. Full of a single-minded purpose: to know. To understand. It was another one of those moments. Those moments where the all-encompassing bond between mother and daughter was left behind in favor of one intelligent smart-ass to another. Yes, she really did take after me. In ways I wish she didn't.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Was anyone else in the room with you?" Cee Cee piped in. I turned my eyes to her, and to my great dismay, the corner of her lip was twitching, trying not to smile.  
  
I glared at her. "No, Cee Cee. Nobody was in my room with me last night."  
  
"You mean this morning," Rose said.  
  
"This morning?" Cee Cee said, no longer hiding her grin.  
  
"Yes, this morning," Rose said, grinning back.  
  
Father Dom's eyebrows went up. Way up.  
  
"God, don't get any ideas," I hissed between gritted teeth. "Nothing happened."  
  
"Nothing happened," Cee Cee said, still grinning.  
  
"Nothing at all," Rose replied. They exchanged conspiratorial looks.  
  
"I am so not hearing this." I stood from the bed, glad my legs were steady. I tried not to think about what had happened earlier, or what I was hearing from my sweet eight-year-old daughter. Was this crap part of her studies, or had I really corrupted her so badly? I was afraid to look at Father Dom. I mean, he was a priest and all. Angel sleeping with demon? BLASPHEMY! Little Susie JUST sleeping with irresistible sex-god Jesse? Yeah. Suuuure.  
  
I could hardly believe it myself. That I spent the night in his room, slept with him in his bed, and nothing happened. What hope did I have of convincing them? Especially perverts like Cee Cee and Rose. Did I just call my daughter a pervert? I didn't mean to. Honestly. It's just kinda creepy whenever I get glimmers of the knowledge stored in her young mind that, well, shouldn't be. Really creepy.  
  
"Where's Bonnie?" I asked, trying to change the subject.  
  
"Catching up on sleep, after staying up all night waiting for you to come back."  
  
Rose was WAY too smart. Big mouth, too.  
  
Realizing I hadn't succeeded in changing the subject, I tried again. "How long have I been out?"  
  
"Four and a half hours," Father Dom put it carefully, a tightness around his lips that was very familiar. Back in Carmel-by-the-Sea, he got that same tightness around his mouth whenever he disapproved of something I did. Which was often. Good times, good times. I thought of Jesse sitting at the bay window, staring wistfully out at the rain...  
  
Really good times.  
  
Except that he was dead then. Now he was alive. But he wasn't the same. Good things never come without compromise. In exchange for life, he gave something up. Something very important.  
  
But he was still Jesse, right?  
  
Yes. No. Maybe. How the hell should I know?  
  
Speaking of Jesse...  
  
"Four hours?" I suddenly blurted.  
  
"And a half," Father Dom said, nodding.  
  
I searched slightly panicked for a clock, but found none in the massive bedroom suite.  
  
"W-what time is it?" I asked, afraid to hear the answer.  
  
Cee Cee pulled what looked like a pocket organizer out of her pocket and pressed something on it. "Quarter to eight."  
  
"Shit," I said aloud, ignoring the indignant squeak from Father Dom. Way too prudish. He needed to learn how to party.  
  
I was off to my first enjoyable social event in seven years. I mean...a date. I could not miss it. I just couldn't. I felt like a schoolgirl with my first crush.  
  
"Does anybody know about me collapsing?" I called out as I sprinted for the ballroom-sized walk-in closet.  
  
"Susannah, where on earth do you think you're going?!" I heard Father Dom cry behind me.  
  
"No, nobody but your Adam and your step-brothers," Cee Cee said.  
  
"Thank god," I murmured, grinning goofily.  
  
"And Jesse."  
  
Damn.  
  
"Susannah, you just collapsed, you're not well! You are not going anywhere! You must tell us what happened!"  
  
I stopped with my hand on the closet door, and looked back at them. Father Dom looked like he was hyperventilating, ready to rant and rave about why I can't leave, and utterly furious. Cee Cee was standing serenely beside the bed with her arms curled around a post, as always the voice of reason. Rose was kneeling on the bed, looking at me with a look on her face that told me she was strictly on observational mode, absorbing facts to use against me later.  
  
I was NOT going to let them ruin this bit of fun for me.  
  
So I let my joy shine across my face, and stopped hiding my feelings for once. A ruffle ran through Father Dom, and his wings, which were previously set out at an intimidating angle (Father Dom intimidate me? Ha- freakin-ha) lowered without him noticing. My gorgeous smile had disarmed him! (cough)  
  
"I have a date with Jesse tonight," I said, and I was horrified by the girlish lilt my voice held.  
  
I went into the closet to find an outfit, leaving that juicy tidbit hanging in the air behind me. So he knew I had passed out. So maybe he thought our date was cancelled. I was quite healthy, thank you very much, and ready to party. I was gonna knock 'em dead tonight.  
  
I had no way of knowing just how true that statement would prove.  
  
Against all odds, I was ready on time. Nay, I was ready three minutes early. Yes, my friends, I managed to find the perfect ensemble in twelve minutes flat. Rose and Cee Cee ended up helping me. Father Dom had stormed off in a huff, muttering about "crumbling morals" and a "religious wasteland". Wonder what's eating him? I mean, I didn't have sex with Jesse. Not yet anyway...  
  
...okay, so I was hoping. The idea thrilled me and scared me at the same time. I mean, we spent one night together, but that was years ago. I was a little girl, totally naïve and utterly limp in his arms. He was a new demon going through a second puberty after a century and a half of no sex. More if he died a virgin, which I didn't doubt, given his annoyingly high morals. Then, anyway.  
  
I knew more about sex now. Granted, I wasn't too proud of who my teacher was—definitely not who I had originally planned. But the knowledge and experience was still there. Plus...Jesse also seemed to have matured a great deal. In a good way. Seriously—buffer, sexier, rougher, and...well, yeah, you get the point. More in control. More contained. Sex and violence straining under a cool and calculated gaze that ran shivers up my spine.  
  
It would be so good the second time.  
  
If there was a second time.  
  
I gazed in the mirror, and even I had to say, I looked good. The outfit was kind of slutty, I guess, at least in theory...but it was done with so much class, that it turned what could have been utterly skanky into something that reeked of composed sensuality. The stylish platform boots were black, made out of a soft leathery material that stretches and slinked across my legs like a second skin. They came up just under my knees. The dress itself was a slinky, sexy thing that reminded me vaguely of lingerie. It left nothing to the imagination, but covered just enough to be decent. It reached about mid-thigh, riding up higher when I sat, of course. Most of the dress was made of a sheer material, almost vinyl-like. Only around my breast and my butt did the material become a more solid black, but shadows of my body still played through in a teasing sort of way. It was strapless, and looked really like it was meant more to be taken off than on. I guess it could look totally trashy on some people, but it seemed made for my body.  
  
Cee Cee had slapped some tasteful, gothic-looking make-up on me, and even managed to paint my nails black (I could never do it so fast or perfectly...). My newly short hair fell in dark chocolate-brown waves, flaring out nicely at the bottom. In that moment, I almost wished I could have my uber-long hair back. Almost.  
  
"You look great, Mommy!" Rose squealed excitedly, clapping her hands. "Jesse won't be able to resist!"  
  
I turned and stared at her. "Are you really just eight? Because you are acting way too old for your age. Seriously. It creeps me out."  
  
Rose just gave me a knowing smile. "I know. I like being creeped out. It's like a massage down your back, y'know?"  
  
"Um..."  
  
Amazing. One second she's insinuating that Jesse will ravish me in this dress, the next second she's making some silly comment on "creeps" that fits her age and innocence. She was bi-polar. I just knew it.  
  
"She's right, Suze," Cee Cee said. I glanced at her, and she was smiling, her eyes shining. "You look...perfect."  
  
I smiled back. "Thanks, Cee. For...everything. Thanks for getting Jesse out. For taking us in. And just...for surviving. Thank you."  
  
"Oh, Suze, you've grown up!" She suddenly wailed, and threw her arms around me, sobbing uncontrollably. I stiffened, totally not expecting it, but Rose gave me a look over her shoulder, and I patted her back hesitantly. I wasn't good with crying people.  
  
"Yes...um, yeah, I have. You too, Cee. You finally got Adam."  
  
She gave a laugh that was wet with tears, but full of a sad joy that pulled at something in my chest. Suddenly I felt something prickle behind my eyes, but I blinked it back, not wanting to ruin the make-up she had so quickly and expertly applied.  
  
Cee Cee stepped back then, keeping her hands on my shoulders. She looked at me seriously, tears still streaming down her face. "Now Suze—I want you to have fun tonight. But I also want you to be safe. No drugs—you wouldn't believe the crazy things they've created, Suze. One taste and you'll be addicted. Two tastes and you'll be dead."  
  
I nodded at her. I felt like I was being lectured by my parents before a party. Parents...I blinked back more tears, and drowned the pain quickly. I was getting good at that. Ignoring pain, I mean. Years of practice.  
  
"Stay close to Jesse, don't let any strange demons touch you, don't drink anything anybody gives you besides Jesse, don't leave your drink alone, don't look into any strange demon's eyes, don't—"  
  
"Why avoid eyes?" I asked, genuinely curious.  
  
Cee Cee was far from smiling now. In fact, she looked a little scared. The fear was buried deep, but definitely there. It unnerved me. "Some demons have the ability to hypnotize you with their eyes. I...I don't know how to explain this to you, Suze...but demons are kind of like vampires." I raised my eyebrows. "What I mean is, they like blood. Not need it, but like it. That's actually where the myth of vampires comes from—human encounters with demons." She lowered her voice to a whisper, and I had to lean in to hear her. "Some of them are addicted to it. Blood, I mean. Clubs are known hubs where Death Eaters—that's what they call addicts—go to lure victims to their deaths. They tend to use hypnotism...trust me on this, Suze. You do not want one of them controlling you."  
  
I swallowed. I was thinking of Jesse's "kiss" last night. I was remembering his sharp canines digging into my mouth, and how excited he got as he tasted me. Was he a...a "Death Eater"?  
  
"...can Jesse do it?"  
  
Her purple eyes widened a bit, and her hands slipped from my shoulders. "I...I don't know. But my guess would be yes. Since he's the most powerful demon along with Paul...my guess would be he has most, if not all, demon abilities. Could Paul do it?"  
  
"I don't know...he never tried on me."  
  
"Glad to hear that."  
  
We stared at each other for a space of seconds, and I realized she was afraid of Paul, and what he might've done to me. He never tried to hypnotize me, and he sure as hell never tried to bite me. I reassured her with a smile. "He wasn't too bad to me."  
  
I realized Rose was standing two feet away from us, and I glanced at her, but her eyes were blank, revealing nothing. Good actress. Good liar, too.  
  
"Just stay safe, Suze," Cee Cee said in a voice that now contained a spark of fear to match her eyes. "Hell Mountain is not a friendly place. Less friendly if you have white wings."  
  
"Don't worry, Cee. I'm a tough girl."  
  
A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. "I know."  
  
She was slowly but surely freaking me out. But I was determined not to let her warnings ruin my night. Nothing could ruin my night. Unless Jesse started hating me again. But he wouldn't. Jesse would never hate me again.  
  
...right?  
  
"Mommy, I don't think he's picking you up. He thinks you're still out..." Her voice was strangely hollow. I shook my head, a small, cynical grin appearing on my face. Not because I thought it was funny, but because it was so terrible how everything I said seemed to hurt someone I cared for. Rose, Jesse, Paul, Cee Cee, Father Dom, didn't matter what I said, SOMEONE I cared about got hurt. It was ridiculous. It really was.  
  
But I managed to force the stupid grin (which might hurt feelings as well) off my face.  
  
"You're father's a good man," I said as I walked past Rose.  
  
"Maybe," she murmured.  
  
"Maybe not to the world, Rose, but to those he loves."  
  
I paused at the door, waiting for a reply. From anyone. A heavy silence fell behind me. I took a deep breath and, not knowing what else to do, pushed open the door and stepped into the silence of the hallway, shutting the door quietly behind me. Inside, I was wondering if I should have left. I was wondering if I should have stayed there to comfort my daughter. I was wondering if I was an idiot. She was obviously deeply insecure about the events that had transpired in our lives recently. I just never gave a thought to just how much all this might be affecting my daughter. Seeing how her father had literally torn the world apart had to have been a shock. Then seeing me running off with this old flame, who had damn near been abusing me just twenty-four hours ago...  
  
I wondered what she was thinking.  
  
I wondered if she was really as calm and controlled as she seemed to be.  
  
I wondered if she had the maturity to handle her intelligence, and her knowledge.  
  
Then the door across the hall opened, and I couldn't wonder about anything anymore. It was breathtaking how Jesse could shock even the deepest and most important thoughts out of my head, and turn me into a blubbering pile of jelly. Not that I was blubbering or anything. But one second, I had been alone in the hall, thinking about my daughter's psychological state of being, and the next, Jesse opened his door and I forgot how to breathe.  
  
I actually hadn't thought it was him. I thought some strange demon had just opened his door, until I met his eyes. He was staring at me with something that looked, if I'm not quite mistaken, like absolute shock. I'm sure my look mirrored his. I mean, Jesse's all about the black, shiny leather. What is he doing wearing something that looks like it comes from somewhere in the mid-eighteen hundreds? Sure, it's his time period, but still. Soft knee-high leather boots (my boots minus the platforms, basically), tight black pants...wait, those are jeans...okay, he's not completely eighteenth-century on me. But still...that shirt...well, it was white and kind of puffy, tucked sort of lazily into his jeans. But the lace...yes, Jesse's shirt had lace on it. It was open-throated, and a lace- bordered, low-cut V exposed a nice bit of his chest. It was long sleeved, and the sleeves sort of billowed around his wrist...and ended in a long splay of soft-looking lace that almost completely covered his hands.  
  
Don't get me wrong...it wasn't bad looking. In fact, I'd say he looked yummier than usual. Seriously. The contrast of black and white did let me realize for the first time something I hadn't noticed before: Jesse was not tanned like I remembered him. Jesse was downright pale. But the paleness, in contrast with the hair that flowed around him like a dark dream, only served to make him more beautiful. Yes—beautiful, masculine, powerful. He reeked of darkness and strength.  
  
Cee Cee's words suddenly rang through my head. And I remembered his bloody kiss. Faint alarms began blaring in my head—Jesse, in this moment, standing before me in such pale and old-world glory, looked like he had been pulled right out of an old 1950's vamp movie.  
  
No. No. Jesse is not a vampire. No. He is a demon.  
  
Yeah, and that's soooo much better, Suze.  
  
I suddenly took a deep breath, like he was relaxing himself after a nasty surprise. Me? Nasty?  
  
"Susannah," he said, in a strangely low and throaty voice. And that's all he said. I blinked myself out of my vampiric reverie, and finally realized that Jesse was staring at my outfit. Drinking it in with hungry looking eyes. I felt my face heat up under his intense scrutiny and obvious approval. When I saw obvious, I mean...those were some really tight pants.  
  
His eyes roamed over my body, rising slowly, until our eyes finally met. And this time, there was a dark light in his eyes that scared me.  
  
"Um—uh—" I gave a small cough. Too embarrassing. Why did I come here. "Uh, nifty shirt." My voice squeaked a little on "nifty". I could have kicked myself.  
  
"You don't look so bad, yourself," he said. His eyes were almost normal, now. I think he realized he was showing too much. I don't know. He seemed to have regained control of himself in other ways, as well. Don't ask why I was looking there, I do not have a non-sluttish answer.  
  
"Um...our date?" I said, feeling stupid now.  
  
"Our date, querida?"  
  
"Yeah...um...Roger's Place. You know."  
  
He mouthed, "Oh."  
  
"Unless, of course, you don't want to go." I laughed nervously, high- pitched and annoying even to me. "Which is fine, you know, I mean, don't worry—"  
  
"I thought you had passed out," he said softly. There was something else in his voice now. Confusion.  
  
"I did."  
  
"You were very weak, Susannah. How did you recover so quickly?"  
  
"I..." I didn't want to tell the truth. That I sucked the energy from people. It sounded...freaky. But then, wouldn't he know already? Wouldn't he read my mind?  
  
"Read my mind," I said.  
  
He stared at me for a long time, then finally shook his head. "I can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"No, not that I don't want to." He met my eyes again. Confused, definitely confused. And a little annoyed. "I mean, I really can't."  
  
"You...you can't read my mind?"  
  
He shook his head. "No. There is something powerful guarding your mind." He stared at me again, and it was getting creepy.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Susannah...that is your power. There is something inside of you that wasn't this morning. What is it?" He lowered his voice to a whisper, but I heard it, felt it like a snake sliding across my skin. "What have you done, querida?"  
  
I tried to hold his eyes with mine, but finally looked away, and stared at the ground. "I...I-I had a dream. A dream where...where this big, shadow—thing...called me...said I was..." I shook my head. "I...I don't know what happened."  
  
"What did he say, Susannah?" There was something radiating from Jesse...something akin to seductiveness...like a strange aura pulsing from him and beating on my skin, in my head, making me want to answer, to tell the truth...  
  
Making me? Making me?  
  
"Jesse, are you trying to hypnotize me?" I said, suddenly angry.  
  
He stiffened, and whatever had been there a second ago slipped away slowly, reluctantly.  
  
"Jesse?"  
  
He smiled—a slow, guilty smile, that said it all.  
  
"Jesse, what gives?"  
  
"It...it worked on you before."  
  
"Before?"  
  
"Before you passed out today. Before you gained this new...protection."  
  
"Wait a second—you've hypnotized me before, Jesse???? Without me aware????"  
  
"Well," he said, looking away, "that is sort of the point, Susannah."  
  
"When? Where? What did you make me do?" I was pissed. Seriously. I hated the thought of falling victim to such a lame and cowardly trick. Hypnotism! What did I do while I was hypnotized?????  
  
But Jesse only shook his head.  
  
"Jesse, don't mess with me. When the fuck did you have control over me?"  
  
Our eyes clashed again—coldness. Distance.  
  
"Answer my question, querida, and I'll answer yours," Jesse said with an almost cruel smile.  
  
"You bastard," I whispered.  
  
"Indeed," he said, raising his eyebrows.  
  
I looked away from him, my fists balled in my anger. Jesse was utterly relaxed, nonchalant. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he was leaning casually against the door frame, one leg propped against the wall behind him. I hated how comfortable he was when I was so furious.  
  
"Okay, Jesse," I said, willing my hands to relax. "Okay." I took a deep, deep breath, and looked at him again. "He called me Alexiel, the Angel of Death."  
  
He remained motionless—nothing to give it away. Except his eyes widened almost imperceptibly. The name meant something to him. He knew something I didn't. Something I wanted to know.  
  
"You know something," I said, pointing accusingly. "What is it? What does it mean?"  
  
He looked away from me, and spoke in a quiet, almost grim voice. "The deal was for one question, Susannah. You answered one question, I answer one. Do you want to know when I hypnotized you, or do you want to know what the 'Angel of Death' is?"  
  
I rolled my eyes, and put my hands on my hips. "Just tell me what it means, Jesse."  
  
He looked back at me, and gave my outfit another once-over. "You're dressed for a night at a dance club."  
  
"I was expecting a night at a dance club."  
  
"I wasn't, not after you passed out." He uncrossed his arms, and stepped closer to me. "Are you still expecting a night at a dance club?"  
  
"I'm expecting an answer to my question."  
  
We stared at each other for a long moment. Measuring our opponent. Judging. Weighing our options. Was this what our love would always be like?  
  
"I'll answer your question..." He stepped closer, and the heat from his body washed over me. "...later."  
  
"How much later, Jesse?"  
  
He smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. I realized he was being very, very careful. "When we get to Roger's Place." He held his hand out to me.  
  
I stared at his hand. Why did it seem like he was offering me so much more than just a date at a club?  
  
"Okay," I said, and I took his hand.  
  
A/N: YAY! THEY GET TO GO ON THEIR DATE! AND SUZE DIDN'T DIE! YAY! AND JESSE'S HOT! YAY!  
  
Did anybody but me notice a sudden change in Jesse's physical description and mannerisms? Well, in defense of Jesse suddenly being a "vampiric demon", I can only comment that during my 5-month hiatus from fanfiction, I aquired a mysterious and inexplicable obsession with vampires, particularly one by the name of Jean-Claude. (Amanda is shaking her head at me)  
  
cough--Anyway—REVIEW please!!!!! I'll begin work on the next chappy as soon as I get...oh...eight more reviews! And not a moment before then! (I know, I know, high standards...that's why I'm still single, lol)  
  
TTFN 


	12. Confessional

A/N: Yes, it's been a while, I know. But I've been waiting till my birthday, b/c I really wanted to write my stories on my new laptop. So now...ahem...I am 17 years old, a senior, and a legal driver!!!! AND I HAVE A NEW LAPTOP!!!!!  
  
I know this chapter is a bit on the short side, but I'm posting it only to tide you guys over for the next one. It will be a good one, I swear. I've already got some....um....uh, "ideas"...  
  
But for now, just enjoy this tidbit. It won't be a long wait till the next chappy, I swear   
  
Rebirth—Chapter 11  
  
"Yeah...but seriously, Jesse....when did you hypnotize me?"  
  
I had been asking him that question over and over for the last ten minutes. We were stuck in traffic. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the most powerful demon of all time was stuck in traffic on the way to a dance club. On his hover bike. With me clinging to his back for dear life. No, there really isn't any danger of falling off the bike when we're completely stopped, but...it felt very nice.  
  
You'd think he'd get tired of hearing me ask the same thing and finally cave in, wouldn't you? But no...he only threw me a grin over his shoulder, and crouched down lower over the handrails, bringing me down with him, until we were nearly stretched out over the bike with me practically lying on top of him. I wondered briefly if I should get off of him, but then I'd be all the way on the end of the bike, and the slightest jolt would throw me off. So I curled myself around him and tried to look natural.  
  
He must have felt the tension playing along my body, because I felt his hand caress mine in a warm gesture. "Relax, querida. We will be there soon."  
  
I sighed. The night was bitter cold, and I had my wings up to at least defend myself from the wind. But of course, my wings were cold, instead. Yes, wings can freeze, just like any other part of the body. That was another reason I clung to Jesse: he was releasing his intense otherworldly heat. For the first time, I realized it wasn't natural. His skin was almost cool to the touch, but about a millimeter away from him, an intense and brilliant warmth was radiating, washing over me. Above us, the beautiful moon shone white and pure—the only beautiful thing left in the world.  
  
"Goddammit, Jesse, just tell me."  
  
He just continued to stroke up and down my arm, but now his hand was softer, barely touching, skimming the hairs on my skin and raising goosebumps. Why did everything he did or said always seem vaguely obscene?  
  
"Did I make an ass of myself? I mean, did you MAKE me make an ass of myself? The truth, Jesse."  
  
He was turned away from me, so I couldn't read his face for clues. I wondered if he was smiling. If he was laughing silently at me.  
  
"Querida..." he voice came in a soft purr which, combined with his still idly stroking hand, made my breath catch in my throat and tugged at something low in my body.  
  
"What?" I breathed, and my breath came out in a misty cloud.  
  
"You did not make an ass of yourself..."  
  
I breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"...much."  
  
I started to say something, but he suddenly sat up, and I would've fallen off the bike had he not grabbed my arm. He was craning his neck around the impenetrable army of vehicles in front of us.  
  
"Jesse, I want to know two things...and I want to know them before this night is over."  
  
He hunched over the bike again with a sigh of defeat. I did not go down with him this time. Unfortunately, from this upper position, I had a good view of the way the night shadows played over the material of his white, frilly shirt, reminding me of cool sheets in darkened rooms...  
  
I swallowed, hard, and looked away.  
  
"What does my queen wish to know?" I heard his voice float to me, low and intimate sounding. Or maybe that was just me. Probably just me. Nevertheless, I had to swallow again. Thank God he couldn't read my mind at the moment. I couldn't seem to stop flashing on the mental image of him lying on those cool bedroom sheets, hair swept across the pillow, giving me that smile that promised all my dark desires, and those eyes—  
  
"I want to know what the hell this 'Angel of Death' is, and I want to know when I was hypnotized."  
  
He half-turned, so that he could speak while looking at me. This was not a good thing, because even though my thoughts were locked away, I was pretty sure my eyes would give me away.  
  
I think they did. Because he smiled that devastating smile of his, and said, "How about a game of Truth or Dare?" He said this with a gleam in his eye that made me want to say, "Hell, no!" But of course, I was to macho for that.  
  
"Whatever," was my only comment.  
  
"To pass the time, Susannah," he said, indicating the bumper-to-bumper scene with an idle flick of his wrist. But he still had that smile, the smile that said his intentions went deeper than mere entertainment. "You can go first."  
  
"Fine." I closed my eyes, shutting him out of view. That shirt was wreaking havoc on my senses again. The V was dipping a little lower than before, revealing quite a bit of chest. Really nice chest. "Truth or Dare?"  
  
"Truth," he said, giving me the answer I wanted.  
  
I opened my mouth to ask about the hypnotism, and something completely different tumbled out instead. "Are you a vampire?" The words came without me being able to stop them, and I realized immediately how retarded I must have sounded. "I mean—no—I mean, um, a...a Death Eater." I chanced a look at him. His look wasn't what I was expecting. I was expecting eyes sparkling with laughter and ridicule. Some anger. Some surprise. Mild amusement. Anything. Anything but the long, considering look that he was now giving me. That look scared me. The fact that he was taking the question seriously scared me.  
  
I blinked suddenly shy eyes at him, and whispered, "Jesse?"  
  
"Blood is nice, Susannah," he said in a solemn voice. His face was serious, set in blank lines, not a hint of mirth. The lips were half- parted, and I caught a glimmer of his abnormally long incisors in the glow of the moonlight. I shivered. He was so close to me. Close enough for me to lean forward an inch and have the line of our bodies pressed together. Close enough to feel that heat.  
  
"How nice, Jesse?" I had to look away from his eyes. The look was intense. A little sex, a lot of violence. That was the way he always looked at me, I realized. His eyes were full of secret promises. I just hadn't really paid attention to that gaze. I mostly tried avoiding his eyes. I avoided them now.  
  
"I'm not a Death Eater," he stated simply. "But I won't lie. I'm attracted to blood."  
  
"Blood and sex," I murmured, gazing at the sky, the moon.  
  
"Yes," he agreed softly. "The keys to a man's heart."  
  
I had to laugh. There was just something sadly ironic about it. I pictured Jesse sitting on the bay window in my mind...then I saw this Jesse sitting on his hover bike, in reality. The old Jesse would have said something cheesy, like, "Books and chastity are the keys to a man's heart." When had "books and chastity" turned to "blood and sex"?  
  
"It's my turn, Susannah. Truth or Dare?" He had turned back around, probably so his facial expressions wouldn't influence my decision. Either way, it wouldn't be good.  
  
Well. Truth: he could make me reveal any number of deep, dark secrets. What's the worst he could get out of me? Not too much danger there...  
  
Dare: he could make me do any crazy stunt. It might even be something embarrassing and sexual. Here, in public. I could see him doing that to me.  
  
So...what would I rather have?  
  
"...truth."  
  
The coward's way out? Maybe. I was so not making out in public. I hadn't stooped that low yet. Note I said "yet". Implying that Jesse would probably corrupt me eventually.  
  
"This is ridiculous," Jesse suddenly said.  
  
There was no wind at all to lift us up. None. But in one motion so liquid smooth and fast that I thought the world had suddenly become an inky blackness, Jesse arched his massive wings, and we were suddenly leaving the ground, the street becoming smaller and smaller below us. I gave a short scream, nearly falling, but Jesse had intertwined his legs in mine without me noticing—a small motion of his body, and I flew back into him, and latched onto him like he my last lifeline. I realized I could have saved myself—I have wings too, after all. I just wasn't used to them, I guess. I never had need for them in the castle.  
  
With no wind, Jesse had lifted us and the bike off the ground with his wings, and was carrying us through the air by pure strength alone. That's a lot of strength.  
  
"Sorry I didn't warn you," he said. "But I was really getting sick of being stuck there."  
  
"Me too," I said, feeling those nice muscles in his back leaping with every beat of his wings. Power sang along every inch of that wide expanse, and his shirt shifted under my hands like a thin veil of silken water.  
  
The city lay far below us now. I saw for the first time that it was shaped like a giant star. The different districts spiraled around the center like the spokes of a wheel, and at the center rose Hell Mountain itself. Where Paul was right now? I tried to understand the feelings I got when I thought of Paul. Was it love? Hate? Confusion...  
  
"Truth, Susannah."  
  
I tensed. Turns out I had reason to.  
  
"Who do you love more, Susannah? Who would you choose?"  
  
You must choose.  
  
An animal cry threatened to rise out of throat like sour bile at the awful memory of that voice. But I restrained it, and only shuddered violently instead. He must have taken it as fear of answering, because he didn't acknowledge the shudder. In fact, he became almost deathly still and silent, but for the beating of his wings. I realized we were lowering, slowly but surely. The city was becoming larger, and at the center of our view was one bright neon sign.  
  
"Susannah..." His voice was quiet, almost dangerous.  
  
I thought of the dream. In the dream, I had chosen...Paul. But then I regretted. I regretted so strongly, and so powerfully, that slaughtered the demons in my disgust. But I lost Jesse anyway, didn't I? If I had chosen Jesse...would I have felt similar regret for Paul?  
  
"Susannah." Sharper now. Louder. Roger's Place was looming ever closer. There wasn't a free parking space conveniently in front this time. We would have to circle around, looking for one.  
  
"Jesse," I said. "I..."  
  
"You what?" he snapped, and there was a definite note of resentment. Was it my imagination, or was the heat from his body becoming even stronger?  
  
I thought of Paul. All the cold memories. His perpetual sorrow. He reminded me of winter, cold and dead. Waiting for a ray of light to thaw his soul. Maybe that was me, but somehow, I just didn't think I was quite bright enough to strike anything in him. He was a great mystery to me...yet, strangely, something old and familiar. Perhaps a piece of that old Jesse calling out to me from inside of him? Was it that piece of Jesse that made him something somewhat attractive to me? Was it that piece of Paul that Jesse now carried which repelled me the tiniest bit?  
  
I thought of Jesse. His darkness, his mysteries. His ultimate body. His black wings and eyes. His wicked smiles. The way he made my body tight with something that was only part fear. His heat, his fire. Polar opposites. I was holding onto him as we finally touched down on the road outside of the club, and kept riding ahead past the line that stretched around the block in search of a parking space. The moment I felt that first bump, his legs, still pinning mine against the bike, squeezed me protectively, and his wings cocooned us for the briefest of moments before returning to their usual badass hover over his shoulders. In that moment, he covered me and held me, almost like it was a reflex. Even though I could sense his anger burning, he protected me instinctively, without a second thought.  
  
And I knew.  
  
"You, Jesse," I said, and my voice was amazingly thick with something deep and vaguely passionate, but more an obscenity to match his own. "You, always."  
  
Except in that dream, I thought to myself. But I didn't say it aloud. And he couldn't read me anymore.  
  
The same moment I said "always", I let some of that untapped energy, that forbidden power, seep out of me and sink into him, like jaws into tender, sweet-scented skin. I felt him jolt, and I smiled. I imagined my smile may have held an element of his—the feeling of him knowing things about me that he shouldn't, of him looking into and through me, and seeing every hidden and denied desire. I let a bigger dose of that power breathe into him, and he shuddered. Yes, I finally gained a reaction from Jesse. A reaction that, for just a moment, made me feel that I had some control over him. Over the situation. Over myself.  
  
Then I had the sudden sensation of cool hands flowing down my body—along my spine, between my breasts, over my stomach and thighs (taking a moment to play dangerously close to my center) and down my legs, tickling every sensitive spot except the ones most intimate. His power's response to mine. My reaction was so strong and immediate that I had to shut my eyes and dig my nails into his shirt, into his rock-hard stomach, to keep from crying out. And I realized I had absolutely no control whatsoever.  
  
I clung to him for a long moment like this, trying to shake the lingering sensations of those invisible touches. I acknowledged vaguely that we had stopped in a parking space. I couldn't be sure, but I had a feeling Jesse was taking a similar moment to compose himself.  
  
"If you promise not to do that in public again," Jesse finally said, his voice breathless, "then I promise the same."  
  
"Deal," I said, gasping quietly. "No more public foreplay."  
  
I guess our agreement on "public use" of this weird ability meant we agreed it was too good a feeling to waste.  
  
A/N: Not much happened, I know. But never fear! I promise, next chapter, their date officially begins, and good stuff will happen. REVIEW, and I'll write faster!!! 


	13. Crucifixion

A/N: Hey, look at that! I updated in one day! I'm trying to make up the three week wait to you guys. I really need to be more consistent, don't I? Oh well This is the first chapter I wrote on my laptop!!!! YAY!!!!!  
  
Rebirth--Chapter 12  
  
Roger's Place was, predictably, packed. But not necessarily in a good way. The most exclusive club in Hell Mountain? My eyes were burning from seeing so many trashy leather bondage outfits and sexual predators at once. As soon as we stepped in, I was assaulted by the almost unbearable stench of drugs I didn't even want to think about. The music...wasn't even music. It was noise. Loud, scratchy, screaming noise that seemed to scrape at the inside of my skull.  
  
I wanted to turn and leave. I wanted to, and I did. I mean, I would have, if I didn't bump into Jesse's chest when I did so. He was blocking the exit, and the look on his face told me he wasn't going to unblock it any time soon. He wasn't going to let me escape. He took one step down the stairs leading to the dance floor, his wings outstretched enough to draw some attention, his face set in grim lines. Another step forced me to take a step backwards, closer to the violent orgy taking place below.  
  
I SO did not want to go in there.  
  
Jesse kind of leaned down towards me, sliding his hands down the railing, and whisper-screamed, "You're partying like a demon tonight, Susannah."  
  
I swallowed, gave a small, crooked smile, and turned away from him. I faced the sea of gyrating, half-clothed bodies. Black feathers were flying everywhere. I realized we were also attracting attention because my wings were the only white thing in the whole place.  
  
"Shit," I said. But I went down, slowly, trying to keep what dignity (and clothing) I had left intact. When I took that last step down, the bodies started rubbing up against me. Bumping, rocking, grinding to the barely- distinguishable pulse of the music. Slick, hot skin left wet trails over my outfit, and I recoiled in disgust. But I only fell into more bodies, and suddenly, I was trapped in a nightmare.  
  
A hand fell across my stomach, then suddenly wrapped itself around my waist in a steel grip. "Want me to show you a good time, angel?" a sultry, very female voice purred into my ear.  
  
"J-Jesse?" I said, staring panicked around me, but everything was closed, black, hot. Every dancing body looked the same. "Jesse!"  
  
Something hot and wet slid up my cheek, and I realized with a shudder that it was a tongue. More hands groped at me.  
  
"Her wings are so beautiful..." A guy whispered in my other ear. "I want to rip them off..."  
  
Okay. This was too much.  
  
"I'm going to hurt whoever is holding me unless you let go of me right now," I hissed.  
  
My only reply were some sinister snickers and even more hands sliding over me, dangerously close to forbidden territory, if ya know what I mean.  
  
So, thoroughly pissed, I spun around sharply, shut my eyes, and, channeling my anger, I lashed out blindly at anything that might be there to hit. I smiled as I felt my knuckles connect with someone's face, and heard the sound of cartilage tearing. I could hear cartilage tearing? Whoa—I so did not want to contemplate the possible reasons behind my super-human senses. Well, I guess I'm not exactly human anyway, but still, I could never hear that before, and I've torn cartilage before, believe me.  
  
But still, it was a nice sound.  
  
"My dose!" somebody was shrieking in a nasally voice. "Da andel bwoke my fucking dose!"  
  
I opened my eyes. The music hadn't stopped, but most of the dancing had. There was a small circle around me where the demons seemed suddenly afraid to tread. They stood at the edge of it, watching me with new eyes. I mean, the whole club was staring at me, even the DJ. I wasn't hard to miss.  
  
I wasn't even sure what was so remarkable about me. I mean, I'm sure noses got broken here all the time. Hell, worse things got broken—the place is covered in lawless demons.  
  
And yet, I must have done something special, because a male voice suddenly called out from somewhere in the crowd, "That is one rugged angel!"  
  
"Yeah, I want one like her!" someone else said.  
  
Suddenly they were all smiling at me and cheering, like I was some kind of celebrity or something. I was completely and utterly confused. Did they think angels couldn't hit? Did they think I would lay there and get raped? Nevertheless, as a steady chant began in my honor ("Angel! Angel! Angel!"), I couldn't help but feel...strangely welcome. I guess the way to a demon's heart is to be a bitch.  
  
Whatever.  
  
"Susannah!" I heard Jesse's voice call out. I turned my head towards the sound, and he was at the other end of the room, sitting at a long bar with two drinks in front of him. He saluted me with a smile.  
  
"Bastard," I muttered as I trudged towards him. The demons parted like water to let me through, patting me on the back as I passed, still chanting. It was downright embarrassing. At least they had stopped groping me.  
  
"They love you," Jesse said as I sat down next to him, his eyes sparkling. "I knew they wouldn't be able to resist your charm."  
  
"Ha-freakin'-ha," I said. The chant was dying. Slowly but surely, the demons were returning to their previous business of dry-humping.  
  
I eyed my drink. Cee-Cee's words of caution were echoing in my head. Death Eaters...  
  
"Drink up, Susannah. If I wanted you that bad, I would just seduce you," Jesse said. He turned in his seat so he could face the dance floor, drink in hand. I managed not to blush. I was getting used to Jesse's new way of talking. But then I looked up at him and saw the way his eyes were following the frenzied movements of two...uh, "dancing" females, and I blushed anyway.  
  
To hide this sign of my shrinking maturity, I turned towards the bar and took a sip of my drink. It stung sharply at the back of my throat, and instantly tears came to my eyes. I screwed my face and swallowed painfully. The horrible substance burned a trail down my esophagus, landing like a bomb in the pit of my stomach. I lurched forward, cradling my stomach, and took a deep breath of air. Jesse was suddenly beside me again, rubbing my back soothingly.  
  
"There, there, querida," he said as I blinked away the tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were so weak. I'll never overestimate you again."  
  
I shot him a glare, then looked back at the drink. It didn't look too evil. It was just sitting there in its little green glass, gleaming in the light...  
  
...and before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed that little green glass, and threw its contents into my mouth with a resolve that could only be borne of my innate stupidity.  
  
There was nothing at first but a faintly bitter taste. Then suddenly it exploded over me—fire burning down my throat, through my chest, and flaring down into my stomach. I rocked backwards, coughing and sputtering, flailing my arms to grab onto something. Someone grabbed both of my swinging arms, and I was held suspended, on the verge of tipping off the seat. Jesse's face floated into view, and it was like I was seeing him through a glowing, misty tunnel of light. And he was...so unbelievably beautiful...  
  
"Susannah?"  
  
Susannah...Susannah...Susannah...  
  
His voice echoed in my skull like some long-forgotten dream...  
  
"It should go away in a few seconds..."  
  
Seconds...seconds...seconds...  
  
He smiled, a slow spread of lips, and he was so adorable that I smiled back.  
  
"Jesse," I said, and I thought vaguely that my voice was slurred, but didn't care much. "I don't want it to go away. I want you to be beautiful forever, to hold me forever..."  
  
He looked down at me, suddenly serious. His hands, still gripping me, pulled me up gently so that I was safely seated once again. But the feeling was still there...fuzziness, light-headedness, and Jesse, Jesse was the only thing in the world that mattered.  
  
"You really can't hold your liquor," he said thoughtfully.  
  
Liquor...liquor...Jesse...  
  
"I can hold anything you want me to hold," I said wistfully, and I fell against him. He jumped, surprised, but grabbed me so I wouldn't fall over. I giggled a little before I pressed my mouth against his, shutting my eyes and kissing him even while I still laughed and smiled.  
  
It was just as Jesse began kissing back that the feeling of utter abandonment began to fade. My enthusiastic, drunken kiss was suddenly not as deep and careless, and a morning-after kind of feeling swam into my pounding head. But Jesse squeezed me almost desperately, and he deepened the kiss again to something that was more than it had started as. I wasn't sure what to do. I thought about pulling away, but then I realized that I had finally found my way back into Jesse's favor, and I didn't want him to hate me again, not for any reason. Not even something as stupid as a wounded ego. I thought about kissing back, the way he was kissing me, but was I ready yet for what that might lead to?  
  
No. No, not yet. Not yet.  
  
And yet...wasn't this what I've always wanted? For the last seven, long years, to be held in his arms again? It wasn't sex, and it wasn't love. It was just a kiss, and he wasn't biting or teasing this time.  
  
Just a kiss.  
  
A kiss...  
  
So, with a sigh, I gave him my kiss. That's all I gave him. Just my kiss. But Jesse wanted more.  
  
He pulled away from my lips, leaning his forehead against mine, and I was panting for breath. He was breathing a little faster, but not much. Damn him.  
  
His eyes were suddenly so close, too close. The dim lighting cast shadows over those endless valleys, and I was staring into two black pits.  
  
"Truth or Dare, Susannah," he whispered.  
  
I didn't even know we were still playing. I was tempted to remind him that it was actually my turn. I still wanted to grill him for info on the whole Angel of Death thing. Not to mention the hypnotism. But something about his voice told me that I was deep inside now. In a place I might never get to again if I didn't take this opportunity. Funny, how I had to be drunk to get here in the first place.  
  
So I stared into the abyss of his eyes, and said what he wanted me to say.  
  
"Dare."  
  
The shadows on his face shifted, and I could tell he was smiling. That scared me. Even though I knew what I was saying when I chose dare, it still scared me. Was it because the shadows turned his devastating smile into something sinister...or just because I wasn't sure I could deal with this? This whole thing, this whole mess...Jesse and Paul, Rose, demons, Hell, dead world, angel, God, moon...  
  
Countless thoughts twisted in my gut, making me nauseous in a way liquor never could. I turned my head away from him, facing the floor. I was trembling, and a sob was suddenly torn from me. How many times would I break down in tears before there were no more tears left? How many? How many?  
  
Jesse held me, and I was lost to everything. The date was a total failure. I came here to have fun, to enjoy myself, but I couldn't deal with my choices. Choices that I already made to bring me here, and choices that I still had to make.  
  
One of them had to die.  
  
One of them had to die.  
  
And I had to choose which one.  
  
"I can't lose it again, Jesse," I whispered against him.  
  
He was rubbing my back again, tracing lazy circles over my skin. I could feel his contentment like a second consciousness within me. Something great and dark, imbued with potential violence, potential rage, potential sex. Paul did not feel that way. Paul had never felt so strong, so sure. He was always weak and uncertain, and that was because of me. Because I would always hate him.  
  
My head was against his chest, buried in the soft lace of his shirt. I moved up with his chest as he sighed softly. I looked up, and he was watching the dance floor with a small smile. He looked more peaceful than I had seen him in a long, long time.  
  
No, it was more than peace on his face. It was Jesse. The real Jesse. The Jesse that was dead and buried. The ghost had returned, adding subtle life to his eyes, his lips, his face. A ghost with life? But...that's what Jesse is. Life. If I choose Jesse, I choose life. Somehow, somewhere, things would be okay. Even if everything went wrong, and the world fell apart tomorrow, everything would be...right.  
  
Out of nowhere, I was reminded of Rose. It was the same feeling I got when I looked at Rose. That everything would be fine, that I would make them fine, for her. Those same eyes...that same smile...there was nothing of Paul in her. None of that weakness. Only his cold, sure strength...she could be truly powerful someday of I only showed he be...?  
  
His arms suddenly tightened around me. I looked up again, and his jaw was set, his face wary. I followed his line of vision. He was looking towards the center of the dance floor, where a particularly large orgy seemed to be taking place. I squinted to see better...they all seemed to be dancing around one person...  
  
"Shit," I said, realizing what was happening.  
  
"Indeed," Jesse said.  
  
Paul. I couldn't believe it. Paul was in the center of the dance floor, grinding against hundreds of girls, letting them lick, kiss, and touch him to oblivion. In his left hand, he held a full glass of that awful liquor stuff, and his right hand...was currently down someone's shirt. He was bare- chested, staring at the ceiling, and his lips were half-parted in what I knew to be ecstasy. I'd bet anything one of the girls was sucking him off right now. Hell, why not two or three?  
  
"Oh my God," I said, and I looked away. Jesse let me slip from his arms, and I swerved in my seat so I didn't have to see what was going on. "Oh my God, oh my God..." I leaned my forehead against the cool counter of the bar, wrapping my arms around my head, covering my ears and trying to block out the terrible noise that they called music. Pieces of my life were falling away. Big pieces.  
  
"He knows we're here," Jesse said, a smile in his voice. "He knows, Susannah. The little bastard knows." I heard him say some stuff in Spanish. He was laughing softly as he said it, so I gather it wasn't very nice.  
  
"I don't care, Jesse."  
  
I sat up straight, recollecting the fallen bits of my pride, and faced the still laughing Jesse. He actually looked happy. Happy. Maybe because he figured Paul was out of the running now. Well, he kinda figured right. Paul had just lost most, if not all, of my respect.  
  
"Truth, Jesse. I'm not giving you a choice. I want you to tell me the truth."  
  
"But it's still my turn," he said, his eyes full of dark light. "I still haven't dared you to...do anything."  
  
I chose to ignore the way he said that. I wasn't dealing with that now. I was angry, he was happy. It was one of those moments when we lost all compatibility.  
  
"It was my turn anyway, Jesse. You're the one who cheated."  
  
He shrugged gracefully. "Fine. But I get to dare you later tonight."  
  
Once again, I chose to ignore his choice of words.  
  
"Okay...what the hell is this Angel of Death thing?"  
  
"Of course," he said. He took one last look out at the dance floor, and, shaking his head, turned back to me. He was smiling again, not very pleasantly. I chose to ignore that, too.  
  
"Well, it's an old legend among the demon folk, of an angel of God that was treasured among all others. Higher that Gabriel, higher even than Lucifer before his fall from grace." He stopped to take a sip of his drink. It went down so easily for him, I was almost jealous. "Alexiel, Angel of Death. Are you sure this is what was said in your dream?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"I can feel it sleeping inside of you. Enormous power. It wasn't there this morning. That's the only reason I believe you. Otherwise, I'd think you were an idiot."  
  
I just looked at him.  
  
"But you're not an idiot. You're Susannah Simon, never an idiot."  
  
Was that sarcasm?  
  
"Just tell me what you know," I demanded.  
  
He took another sip, I think just to annoy me. His eyes never left me as he teased the straw between his lips. I was suddenly aware of the unusual situation I was in...boyfriend A was sitting next to me, performing oral sex on his drink and flirting with me, while boyfriend B was ten feet away from us, dancing with a hundred girls and having oral sex performed on him in a lame attempt to make me jealous. But of course, I was technically married to both of them. Ah, the joys of my life.  
  
Jesse finally cleared his throat importantly. He looked like he was enjoying himself. At least one of us was.  
  
"Okay...Angel of Death, held above all other angels in God's eyes, blah blah...well, the way the story goes, she was in love with Lucifer before his rebellion against God. When he gathered his army of angels, he pleaded with Alexiel to come with him, to help him defeat God. She refused. So, Lucifer took his army against God, lost, and was cast down into Hell. These fallen angels were the first demons, and Lucifer was the first demon king. All others are descended from him."  
  
"So...you've got a piece of Satan in you, and so does Paul. This so figures."  
  
"You cannot inherit evil, Susannah, only madness. Evil is taught."  
  
"Whatever. Is that the end of the story?"  
  
He took another sip of his drink, and stared out at the sea of dancing demons as he spoke. For the first time, I wondered if he cared at all. I wondered if he looked out at these creatures, and thought, "These are my people." If he did, then I felt truly sorry for him. Because then he was very, very alone in this world.  
  
"No, Susannah. Unbeknownst to God, Lucifer, or even Alexiel herself, she was with child. When she found out, she panicked, and offered herself to God as his bride. He accepted her. The child was born, and it was the most beautiful thing Heaven had ever seen. The child of God and Alexiel. But...but Lucifer knew. Lucifer knew it his child. But he could do nothing. Nothing."  
  
Jesse's face was dark. There was some painful emotion playing across his face. It almost looked...like he would cry.  
  
"Jesse?" I said, touching his arm softly.  
  
"In the child's eighth year of life, God noticed it changing. Light was slowly leaving the child. Shadow was seeping into its once blindingly white wings. God called Alexiel to him, and forced her to confess the truth. Then, despite his great love for them both, he cast his wife and child into Hell. Alexiel went to Lucifer for refuge. But...in a great rage, he killed them both. He loved her, and his child, so much...but he killed them."  
  
I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. He was turned away from me now, so I couldn't see his face.  
  
"Her tormented soul begged admittance into the kingdom of Heaven, but God would not let her enter. However, she was too innocent, too pure to suffer eternity in Hell. So God trapped her soul in a human body, damning her to earth for all eternity. She wandered the earth for thousands of lifetimes, all the while gaining hatred and power, until at last God had to further contain her...so he locked her away within a mortal's soul. Here she is sentenced to remain until the end of time. But before she went, she made a promise to both God and Lucifer...that she would return before her time came, in full power, and lay waste to Heaven, Hell, and Earth. They say God fears no one. But that is wrong. God fears only one. His love, his equal, his angel. Alexiel."  
  
He turned to face me again, and the look had passed. Now there was something akin to wonderment as he looked at me. He reached out a pale hand, slowly, to touch my face. His cool fingers skimmed along my cheek, until he reached the corner of my lips. He touched a finger to my bottom lip, and my body was suddenly tight.  
  
"Only one," he said again. He leaned a little closer, not to kiss, but almost as if he were studying me under a microscope. "Is this you, querida? Are you the one God fears so very much?"  
  
"It would explain the hell He's put me through," I breathed against his finger.  
  
He laughed softly, moving even closer. Our knees touched. His finger trailed down to my chin, and crept lower, down my neck, the to the side, stopping over the jumping pulse of my jugular. I froze.  
  
"Then I am Lucifer. I am Satan. Are you afraid of me, angel? Are you afraid I will kill you?"  
  
His other fingers were slowly slipping over my throat, until his hand was suddenly and inexplicably around my neck. I was heavy with the knowledge that a flick of his wrist would snap my neck like a twig, and the fear that he just might do it. I looked him dead in the eye, my face as blank as his. His eyes were dark, drowning...pitiless.  
  
"You're Jesse. Not Lucifer. Lucifer is dead. You're just Jesse."  
  
"Are you so sure? Who do you think it was in your dream? Who do you think spoke to you?"  
  
My breath caught in my throat. "You...you said you didn't know...you didn't know...how would you know...?"  
  
He came closer, closing his eyes and breathing along my face. I shut my eyes against him, suddenly so confused. The darkness behind my eyelids was somehow soothing. Then he said words that froze the blood in my veins.  
  
"Because, little Susie...I am not Jesse."  
  
I opened my eyes with a gasp, but Jesse...or whoever...wasn't looking at me. He was staring out at the dance floor again. I craned my neck to see what he was looking at, but it was tough with his hand around my neck. I finally managed to see what he was looking at...  
  
...Paul was standing in the middle of the dance floor, but he was no longer covered in girls. He was just standing there, glaring at us. No, glaring at Jesse. His eyes were blue, icy fire. Scary stuff, I tell you.  
  
"Get your hand off of her neck, or I will kill you," Paul said in a quiet voice. That was when I realized the terrible music had been shut off. Thank God.  
  
"I hold them both in the palm of my hand," came a voice from Jesse's mouth, so low only I could hear it...but it wasn't Jesse's voice. My heart jumped into my throat. That voice, that horrible, twisted voice...  
  
"But I only need one of them." He turned to me with a smile that filled me with dread of his next words. "I think I'll kill off your dark one, so that you may be with your god in shining armor, as it was meant to be. What do you think, Alexiel?"  
  
"Nobody will die here," I choked out. It didn't sound very convincing, but I had to say something.  
  
"No, Alexiel, angel, little Susie, light of life...someone will die. But you are right. Not here. Not yet." He crossed the last inch between our lips, and the moment we touched, a terrible despair came over me. It felt as if all the joy, all the energy, memories, spirit, everything that made me love and breathe, was stolen away from me with that gentle kiss. I felt weak, and I had the horrible feeling the only thing holding me up was his hand around my neck. "But soon. So...very...soon."  
  
His eyes suddenly shut, and he jolted, as if he were waking from some kind of nightmare. When his eyes opened again, they were dim and unfocused. He stared down at me like he had never seen me before for a second, then he said, "Su...Susannah?"  
  
His eyes lowered, and his saw his own hand around my neck. For the briefest moment, I saw his eyes unbelievably wide, then he took back his hand as if my skin had burned him. I managed to stay sitting upright, despite my weakness. I could feel the same thing happening that happened earlier...I was taking energy from the demons in the room, who were all silently staring that us. I was recovering my strength at an alarming rate.  
  
"What...what did I do?" Jesse said, and his eyes were wild, frightened. He stood up quickly, tipping his bar stool over in the process. It clattered loudly to the ground, shattering the heavy silence. He stared at me, holding the hand that had encircled my neck as though it were injured. "You're so...pale, Susannah. What have I done?"  
  
A vast amount of energy was pouring into me. I felt stronger than I ever had before. It was almost scary. I stood, and it was a graceful fluid motion. The way Jesse always moved. Except now. Now, he was just staring at me, looking at if his strength, his confidence, was gone.  
  
"Jesse...I'm fine. Please. Don't be that way. Be strong, like you always have been."  
  
He looked down. "I've never been strong, Susannah. Never. You don't understand."  
  
"No, I don't." I held out a hand to him. "Please, Jesse. Show me. Let me inside."  
  
I watched those terribly dull eyes slide downwards, to look at my hand. He looked at it like he wasn't sure he should touch it. In that moment, it felt like someone had pushed "mute" on some universal remote control. No sound at all. Not even the sound of my own heartbeat or breathing. Complete and utter nothingness. I wasn't sure what I'd do if Jesse refused my hand. I just didn't know.  
  
After a small, excruciating eternity, he finally did lift one hand towards mine. His eyes stayed staring at my hand, outstretched toward him, and I stared down at it...no, our hands, so close now. On a more random note, I realized we were both in dire need of a tan. Well, that would work better if there was actually a SUN to tan under...  
  
I swear our fingers were less than an inch away, when Jesse suddenly wasn't there anymore. Just like that. One second, he was reaching for me, the next second, he was just gone. I blinked, and started whirling around in idiotic circles, searching for him.  
  
"Jesse?!"  
  
Then I realized that all the demons were staring upwards. I followed their line of vision, raising my eyes slowly to the ceiling...  
  
Paul was pressing Jesse against the ceiling with the whole length of his body. He had both his hands around Jesse's neck, and he was hissing angrily in his face. Jesse was utterly unresponsive. His head had fallen forward, and Paul was holding it up with his hands. Jesse's arms hung limply at either side of Paul, dangling toward the floor. It looked rather disturbing. Like they were lying on a bed upside-down or something. Except Jesse looked entirely too dead.  
  
I could only stare. There was nothing I could do. Nothing...  
  
Except...  
  
"No," I whispered. "No..." I spread my wings as wide as I could, and beat them once, hard. Too hard. I damn near crashed into the ceiling. I was hovering beneath them in less than a second. Where was all this strength coming from????  
  
Wait...I really didn't want to know.  
  
I looked up, at the back of Paul's head. He didn't know I was right behind him. I could catch some of what he was saying...  
  
"Piece of shit...don't deserve her...MY queen...almost killed her..."  
  
Jesse's hands were dangling lifeless on either side of my head. I reached up and touched them softly. Cold.  
  
He wasn't...?  
  
"Stop it, Paul," I said. Well, I tried to say it, but all that came out was a soft whimper.  
  
What was wrong with Jesse???? Why was he just...hanging there????? I couldn't feel any movement as I touched his hands. No pulse as I intertwined my fingers with his. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.  
  
There was suddenly a low beat rising...slowly...speeding up...like a drum, making my blood rush faster. I thought for a wild moment that it might be Jesse's heart beating again, but then I realized the sound was in me...in my head, my chest, my throat. It was my heart, beating faster and faster. I could feel power inside me. I could practically touch that power, as if it were a living thing inside of me.  
  
Jesse's hands slipped out of mine. He was raising his arms over his head, almost like he was reaching out for something. Relief washed over me—he was alive. He was okay. But then I noticed the fine trembling in those hands. Paul was...strangling him. Slowly, silently, strangling him.  
  
The power burst through me at that thought, and I could hardly control what I did next. My arms reached up, seemingly of their own accord, and grabbed Paul by the shoulders.  
  
"STOP IT PAUL!!!!"  
  
And I ripped him away from Jesse.  
  
He gave a strangled scream as he flew downward. I had just enough time to see Jesse's eyes half-closed as if asleep, his face chalky-white, before Paul grabbed my ankle as he fell passed me and I fell to the floor with him. He went face-first into the dance floor at break-neck speed, and I landed relatively unscathed on top of him. But it was still a painful landing.  
  
I heard Paul give a pained moan, and I slid off of him, standing to look up at Jesse. He was still on the ceiling, as if some force was pinning him there. Only this time, his arms and outstretched wings were also pinned to the ceiling, and his head no longer drooped forward. It was like the crucifixion of some tragic, beautiful death god.  
  
"Jesse..."  
  
I stood staring up at Jesse, hung on the ceiling, nearly unconscious. Surrounded by the demons, the silent witnesses to this spectacle. Beside me, Paul stood with another moan, blood flowing freely from his nose and a large gash high on his forehead. He shook his wings, sending loose silken black feathers raining down on us like a morbid rain. Tears were flowing down my face. What was wrong with Jesse? What was wrong with Jesse?  
  
"Kill the dark one..." the voice slithered up my spine like a cold hand. I spun around, but it was only Paul behind me, looking up at Jesse with a smirk.  
  
Was it really...only Paul?  
  
I hold them both in the palm of my hand...  
  
Paul raised both his hands high over his head...and he whipped them downwards so fast they were a blur of motion. Jesse gave a painful gasp. I looked up, and there was blood...his hands. Jesse's hands had bloody scratches over them. I saw Paul raise his hands again from the corner of my eyes, and there was no time to stop him before he whipped them down again, and Jesse cried out. This time, I wasn't sure where he had been hit...until I saw thick blood beginning to gather at the tips of his boots. His feet. Paul was ripping Jesse apart without even touching him.  
  
"A pale imitation, I know," Paul said, grinning triumphantly at me.  
  
"Yeah, it is," I agreed, glaring at him. I closed the distance between us in two swift steps.  
  
"Paul...I thought I could love you. I thought there was a chance I could feel something for you." I watched the smile slide off of his face as I spoke, and something dark and kind of hopeless set in. "I was afraid I might have to make a difficult choice. But now I don't. You've made that choice for me."  
  
"Suze—"  
  
"I never want to see you again after this night."  
  
Paul's eyes widened, and his mouth kind of fell open. And he just stared at me like that, his mouth opening and closing slightly, like he was trying to say something. Something warm and wet dropped on my cheek then, and I started. It started to slide down my face, and I looked up. Jesse was still hanging there, his eyes closed. He was still alive. I could see his chest rising and falling, fast.  
  
"Let him go."  
  
"I'm not holding him," Paul said, his voice quiet.  
  
I shook my head. "Whatever, Paul."  
  
I flew up to Jesse again, this time not nearly cracking my skull open. I stopped just under him.  
  
"...Jesse?"  
  
He looked like he was sleeping. He was so pale! Like he was sick...dying. His lips were red, almost like they were smeared in blood...  
  
"Jesse, please...wake up..."  
  
I touched his face, gently. So cold! Why was he so cold? What was wrong with him? I pressed my body tight against his, against the ceiling, trying to warm him. I stretched out my arms, taking his hands in mine. Blood began to dribble back down my arms towards me, running in tiny red streams. I didn't care. I didn't care. All I wanted was for Jesse to open his eyes and say something...anything...even tell me he hated me, I don't care...just say something!  
  
"Jesse...Jesse, you have to wake up now," I said softly. I pressed my cheek against his. "You don't understand, Jesse...I've chosen you. You. Nobody but you. I'm so sorry it took such a long time. I never thought...that this would happen." I gave a weak laugh. "I mean, I'm not even sure what just happened. Apparently we're both possessed by some ancient people who had issues thousands of years ago. Now they're making us suffer for their mistakes." I laughed again. "Fits great with everything else that's happened in my shitty life!" I laughed again. I stopped when a small sound came from Jesse. He moved his head against my cheek. His arms were suddenly heavy against mine, no longer pinned to the ceiling. I hoped I wouldn't go crashing back down if the rest of him suddenly came loose.  
  
"Jesse," I whispered. "Jesse, live! Live for me, please? Live for...for Rose. Live for our daughter, Jesse."  
  
There was suddenly scream from below us. Jesse's hands tightened around mine a second before there was a horrible sting at my back, like someone had slashed me knives. I didn't scream, but I sucked in a breath. My body seized up, and I began to fall back down towards the floor. His hands around mine saved me from what could have been a very painful experience.  
  
I felt warm blood begin to seep down my back. It wasn't really hurting. Not yet. Right now it was kind of numb. Later, I knew, I would be in a lot of pain. I had to get Paul for this one.  
  
I looked up, and met Jesse's eyes. Wide awake. Staring down at me. His face was expressionless, but those eyes...those eyes said things that words could never express.  
  
"Are...are you okay?" I said.  
  
"I am fine, my body is already healing the damage," he said, his voice slightly hoarse. "But what I'm about to do to Paul will not heal so easily." He paused, seemingly at a loss for words for a moment, then said, "Thank you. I cannot apologize enough for my moment of weakness when you needed my strength the most."  
  
I smiled. He sounded so much like the old Jesse.  
  
"I'm just glad you're alive, Jesse."  
  
He came away from the ceiling, slowly, drawing himself against me, and we drifted gently to the floor that way, towards Paul and the ever-silent demons.  
  
A/N: WHAT DID I DO TO THEIR DATE?!?!?! Oh, whatever, the night is still young. Good things can still happen..........hopefully..........(my fingers have a mind of their own, it's scary was they type sometimes......oO)  
  
Anyway, I have some splendiferous news for you guys. You know how I've had major writing block since like, chapter 5 of this story? Well...............I don't anymore. Yes, my friends, my writer's block is finally dead! I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!  
  
It happened while I was washing the dishes today. I was thinking about how upset everyone on is with me because I never update, then I was thinking about my mom should wash the dishes for a change, then I was thinking about Johnny Depp, then—BOOM—the whole story just flew into my head in a flash of inspiration. Seriously—I was dizzy from how fast it happened.  
  
So now I know exactly where I'm going, and what's going to happen. I have regained control of my story! I am no longer writing lame random chapters of whatever I can think of at the time! Rejoice!  
  
Okay, now that I've told you all my life story, please REVIEW!!!! No new chapter until I have...TEN REVIEWS!!! Yes, the number is getting high...but hey, I'm not making any money here! I'm dirt poor, and here I am writing when I could have a summer job!  
  
Lol, j/k, you know I love you guys! And to whoever's still reading this piece of crap, thanks for having faith and sticking with me for so long. You guys are the reason I write! YOU ROCK!  
  
TTFN 


	14. Retribution

A/N: Hello, friends! I've written another chapter for you all to enjoy! Unfortunately, I hate it! But whatever.  
  
I shall not hinder you any longer! Read on, and I shall await your judgement.............  
  
Rebirth—Chapter 13  
  
Paul was watching us with a smile on his face as we touched down softly on the floor. Not a happy one. A smile that seemed to say, "I can't believe this is happening to me." One of those.  
  
"Suze," he said politely. "I see...you've made your choice then."  
  
Jesse gave my hand a squeeze—he was warning me not to say anything stupid. Me? Stupid? Nah.  
  
Paul laughed a little, and looked to the side, his brows raised. I think he was having some serious issues coming to terms with reality.  
  
"You're my wife, Suze..." he said in a very strange sounding voice.  
  
"I never meant to be, Paul."  
  
"I...I know."  
  
He looked back at us. The smile was gone. His face was slack with hopelessness.  
  
"I understand now, Suze. I understand what I've done." He looked towards Jesse. They stared at each other for a space of seconds. "Prolonged the inevitable. All these years...I have been roadblock in your life. A pebble in your shoe. A burden." He shut his eyes, and ran a hand through his golden hair. "I...I'm so sorry—"  
  
His voice broke on the last word. He covered his face in his hands and made some weird wheezing sounds. I realized...he was trying not to cry. Something seemed to squeeze my chest as I watched him. I just...I don't know. I made my choice. I chose Jesse. Nothing would change that. But Paul just looked so broken, standing there alone...  
  
He suddenly let out a horrible scream, like something inside was trying to rip out of him, and collapsed to his knees. Before I knew what I was doing, I had taken a step towards him. Jesse's hand holding mine stopped me. I looked back at him. His face was grim.  
  
"Susannah..." His voice was warm, the beginnings of anger. "He needs to accept the truth."  
  
"Jesse...look at him."  
  
"Susannah, if you let go of my hand right now, I'll never let you have it again." His eyes hardened. "And I mean that. No matter how much I love you. My heart is not a toy for you to play with, and neither is his."  
  
My breath caught in my throat, and the pressure in my chest was almost unbearable. He was right. He was so right.  
  
I looked back at Paul. He was breathing hard, staring at me from the floor. His icy blue eyes watched me through a veil of hair that had fallen over his face. The silence was touchable. Jesse's hand was suddenly not as tight around mine. Like he was already accepting that I was about to let go.  
  
I shook my head against the pounding headache starting between my eyes. I covered my face with my free hand, and for a second, I just stood there. In the cool darkness of my mind, I was alone. I was free to think without Paul's blue eyes or Jesse's warm hand to sway me. I was alone in a long, dark hall. But instead of doors lining it, there were mirrors. The sky overhead was not inky black with a sprinkle of stars, but wide and blue, with clouds drifting by endlessly.  
  
I walked down this hall, and every mirror showed me a different memory...here was Jesse and I first meeting, me grabbing his finger and his perpetually shocked face. There was Paul playing chess with Rose and I, and good- humouredly getting his ass kicked. Then there was Jesse, watching me coldly as I sobbed at his feet on the rooftop of Roger's Place. Paul, as he came towards me and gave me the awful kiss that would make me his eternally reluctant bride. A series of mirrors showcased more passionate moments, which don't really need to be described in any detail. Paul, creating a tiny star in front of my very eyes in honor of my twenty-first birthday, and telling me how much he loved me. Jesse, drifting through the stars, asking me if my words meant anything, then vanishing into the velvet blackness of his mind.  
  
He never told me...he loved me.  
  
I lowered my hand, and Paul was still there, staring at me with a quiet desperation, like his life depended upon his decision. And maybe it did.  
  
"Paul..."  
  
He jerked lightly, as if my voice had stung him.  
  
"...goodbye."  
  
I stepped backwards into Jesse. He drew me against him, his hands coming around my waist to hold me in place. I felt his chin on top of my forehead. The cadaverous chill was gone, and Jesse was radiating his otherworldly heat once again. It was a wonderful feeling.  
  
Paul's gaze dropped to the ground. He sat there limply for a long time, looking like a rag doll. My heart was still tight with remorse, but it felt as though a great weight had been lifted. I was with Jesse. The decision was final. It was the right decision. There was no doubt. Jesse had my heart. When I looked at Paul, I felt a vague shadow of hate and affection, and a wave of pity. But somehow...there was so much more when I looked at Jesse.  
  
"I'm going to kill him," I heard Jesse's rough whisper.  
  
"No, you're not, Jesse. He's dead enough."  
  
"He will want revenge. I swear to you, he will try to kill us."  
  
"I won't let you kill him, Jesse." His arms tightened around me. "No. Just leave him. Be satisfied that the sight of him makes me sick."  
  
"Susannah..."  
  
"No."  
  
"He is still king. He is still destroying this world, and causing death."  
  
"You think you'd do better?"  
  
I had a split second to think, maybe I shouldn't have said that. But Jesse only gave a low chuckle that was just this side of a growl. Creepy. I've just chosen to spend my life with a slightly psychotic demon, who happens to be possessed by Satan. I didn't even want to think about the possible problems that little detail might create later on. But in that respect, my other choice wasn't much better.  
  
"Let's leave, Jesse," I whispered. "I can't take this anymore."  
  
Without a word, Jesse turned me in his arms, towards the entrance. The crowd of silent demons blocking the entrance began parting so we could walk through, when suddenly there came a voice from behind us. A cold, deadly voice that made me shiver. And it was most definitely not the voice of Lucifer.  
  
"Kill them."  
  
The demons who had begun moving to let us through suddenly stopped. I spun around, staring. Paul was still hanging limply in his kneeling position, bare chest heaving, head lowered so I couldn't see his face.  
  
"Kill them," he said again.  
  
Nobody moved. Jesse threw me an "I told you so" look, letting go of my hand and crossing his arms over his chest. He looked more impatient than worried.  
  
"Paul," I said, stepping towards him, "What do you think you're doing?"  
  
His head shot up, eyes blazing with concentrated fury. "I'm killing you, the way you've killed me." He stood, quivering with suppressed power. I stepped away from him again, suddenly...afraid. I hadn't felt that way about Paul in a long time. Not for years. But now, angry energy was seeping out of him, prickling the hairs on the back of my neck and raising goosebumps.  
  
"Hear me, demons," he called out loudly, his voice suddenly strong and booming. I began to see dark waves of energy emanating from him, like an aura of power. His wings were a black arch over his body as he slowly began rising, levitating over the sea of his waiting subjects. "Susannah Simon is no longer your queen."  
  
My mouth fell open. Seriously. I mean...I didn't think he would do that. Of course, I wasn't expecting to rule at his side anymore, but...I just wasn't expecting him to denounce me right there. I was figuring there'd have to be a ceremony or something...  
  
"Susannah," Jesse said suddenly. I glanced over at him. He was staring up at Paul, eyes wide, arms held up, almost in a fighting stance. "Susannah...this is not good."  
  
"Why? What's going on?" If Jesse was worried, then we were in trouble.  
  
There was a blinding flash, and second later, what seemed like a sonic boom inside my head. I screamed, but I couldn't hear it. There was nothing but a terrible, high-pitched ringing. Pain seared down the center of my skull, like my brain had been split in half. I opened tearing eyes, and saw Jesse having a similar reaction to whatever Paul had just done. Then I realized that all the demons were looking at us. Both of us. Watching us with hungry eyes.  
  
I had a second to think, oh shit, this is bad, before Jesse, still shaking his head in what looked like pain, grabbed me around the waist and launched himself into the air.  
  
"Jesse!" I tried to shout. I don't know if any sound came out, because I still couldn't hear anything but the fading scream in my mind. I looked down, and blinked in shock at what I saw. All the demons in the room were launching themselves upward at us, arms outstretched, fangs bared. Paul was rising higher and higher like some dark god, his power swirling around him in a black tornado, whipping almost painfully at my skin. Then, suddenly, sound returned in a painful rush. His power howled through the room, the demons screamed a nightmarish chorus as they reached for us, and Paul's voice slithered through the room in a hypnotic undertone, "...kill them...kill them...kill them..."  
  
Horror filled me until I could barely breathe. Then Jesse called out to me, "Close your eyes!"  
  
I did, shutting out the awful vision of those demons just inches away...and we suddenly shot upwards at some impossible speed. My stomach dropped to my feet, and nausea crept up my throat. Jesse was going to barrel through the ceiling. It was the only way out. We were going through the ceiling. Crap, crap, crap.  
  
I balled up my fists, held onto his arms, and made myself as small as I possibly could...and Jesse suddenly flipped so that we were horizontal, with me on the bottom. He squeezed me against him, shielding me from whatever would happen.  
  
The world exploded, and I screamed. Jesse grunted in pain, but we kept going, sailing through layers of plaster and wood and brick, unable to stop with our own momentum driving us. It must have only been a few seconds, but it seemed that we were there for hours, with tons and tons of heavy materials slamming into Jesse's back. I kept hoping he would still be alive by the time we were on the other side...  
  
...and suddenly, it stopped, and we were flying out into clean, empty air, still being carried by the momentum. I opened by eyes and sucked in a breath. Jesse was staring up at the sky, blinking his eyes frantically, mouth wide open. Like he was trying to scream, but couldn't find his voice.  
  
"Oh my God—Jesse, are you alright?!"  
  
"Can you fly yourself?" he said in a hoarse voice.  
  
"Yes, of course, just let go of me!"  
  
He blinked some more, and his eyes seemed out of focus. "Let go of you...?"  
  
"Jesse..."  
  
"Let go of..." His eyes suddenly fluttered, and his back bowed. "...let go..." His hands slipped away from my back.  
  
"Jesse?" Panic swept through me, and the nausea returned full-force. "Jesse!"  
  
We were slowing down rapidly, high above the city, nearing the point where momentum would fail us.  
  
"Jesse, wake up! Don't do this again, I can't save you!"  
  
Too late. We came to a slow stop, and for just a second, we were suspended in the sky, and Jesse was a beautiful dream, glowing in the moonlight, his eyes half-shut in waning consciousness.  
  
Then the descent began, slowly at first, then faster and faster. A stream of wind found us, and I spread my wings to catch it, but Jesse kept going, limp, tipping over so that he would hit the ground head-first. Beyond him, the flock of crazed demons were rushing up towards us, their eyes red and glowing, hands turned into jagged claws. Beasts.  
  
"No," I whispered.  
  
I hung above the nightmare, watching Jesse spiral down towards the screaming monsters...  
  
And there it was again. That untapped power, sleeping just below the surface of my skin, offering the perfect solution to this predicament.  
  
I let it take me.  
  
Intense heat poured out of me, and I screamed, reaching up my arms toward the moon, and watching molten lava ooze out over them, covering my hands, my fingers. Felt it pour over my face. I saw my hair flying past me in the wind, and it was burning, burning, pure fire.  
  
My scream became something else—no, someone else's scream, someone else's angry roar. The clouds above me were tinged red, melting away from me to form a huge circle in the sky.  
  
"Fear me," I hissed, and they weren't my words, nor my voice.  
  
I turned my flaming head down to where Jesse was still spiraling downwards...and with a thought, he began to glow. The light grew, beautiful, untainted, surrounding his body in a cocoon of protection. The demons screamed indignation and shied away from it, covering their eyes, unable to watch. I motioned upwards with a curl of my molten fingers, and Jesse rose upwards towards me, gleaming in holy perfection. The light tainted his wings, and they appeared white, the wings of an angel. As he stopped before me, hanging horizontal, I was mesmerized. He was so beautiful. Truly...  
  
His eyes flew open then, just as I was reaching out a hand to touch him. He stared at me, and his face showed no fear. "Susannah?"  
  
I smiled. "Jesse."  
  
"You're..." he swallowed, and his brows went up. "Um...you're on fire."  
  
I could have laughed. I just didn't think the situation was appropriate. Already the energy was draining from my body, and if I was going to do something with it, now was the time.  
  
"Are you alright, Jesse?"  
  
"Yes...I believe...this light..." he raised a hand, staring at it in wonderment. "...has healed me."  
  
"Good," I said. I faced the hoard of demons. Just like my dream. They were watching us, waiting for the light to fade. Just like my dream. Just a dream.  
  
I shut my eyes. Just like I did in the dream...I threw the power out of me, shot it out at them, out of my body. I gasped from the heat...burning me from the inside, melting me. My eyes shot open. The power was burning fiery trails down the sky, engulfing the dance club far below in unholy flames. I couldn't see them through the fire, but I could hear them...screaming, no longer in bloodlust, but in pain, in agony. I could smell their death, their melting flesh. I felt the heat flying away from me, draining away as I let the power seep out of me. It was leaving, and the pain was growing, weakness was weighing my body down.  
  
"Jesse, help," I gasped. I felt him grab me from behind, keeping me from falling, and the energy vanished. But the damage was done. The fire had left me, leaving what looked to be a large section of the city engulfed in flames. The demons were gone. My mind was numb. I was blocking out the possibilities...  
  
How many had I just killed??? What did I just do???  
  
What if I just killed Paul...?  
  
"Oh my God," I whispered.  
  
I could hardly move. I hung limp in Jesse's arms, staring at the damage that I just created.  
  
"Oh my God..."  
  
"We're leaving," Jesse said, his voice passive.  
  
"I didn't mean to do that," I said, shaking my head weakly in disbelief. "I didn't mean..."  
  
"I know," he said, and he lifted me up gently, and turned me so I couldn't see the fire anymore. His eyes were soft, and his lips were curved in a pleasant smile. How could he be happy when this just happened?  
  
"I know." He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead, and cradled me to his chest, almost like a child. "Now, let's go home."  
  
"But Jesse..."  
  
"Are you worried about him?" His smile was still there, but his voice was suddenly cool. "Would you like me to bring us down so you can check up on him?"  
  
"I..." I thought about it. I did kind of want to know if Paul was down there, but...somehow, I just wasn't worth it.  
  
"No," I said with a sigh. "No..."  
  
"He's alive," Jesse said. "Okay? He is alive. I would have felt his death. Now, I'm taking you home, Susannah."  
  
Home. I hadn't been able to honestly say that word for so long...home. I had a home. I never called the castle home. Because it never felt like home. For a long time, Rose and Bonnie were the only home I knew. Now, I had a real place to call home. A place where all the people I loved were waiting for me...  
  
I closed my eyes for just a second, as Jesse began to fly us home...  
  
...and when I opened them again, Hell Mountain was nowhere in sight, and we were flying over the barren wasteland that separated the demon and human cities. I stretched, pressing the length of my body against Jesse's. His lips curled in a smile, but he stared straight ahead. The moonlight here was unhindered by artificial light, and it cast an eerie glow over the dead land.  
  
"How long have I been out?"  
  
"About ten minutes, maybe less," Jesse said.  
  
"Oh, wow," I said with a yawn. "I feel like I've been sleeping for years..."  
  
"You needed the rest badly," he said, and he glanced down at me. "You were taking energy from me in your sleep. You did not tell me you had this ability."  
  
"Oh. Um." I shifted a little in his arms. My strength had returned. It felt weird...I don't think I'd ever get used to it. "Well, did I...I mean, are you okay? I didn't take too much, did I?"  
  
"No, not at all. I'm happy to share." He looked down at me. "Though it would be nice if you could fly yourself. You're not as light as I thought."  
  
I scowled as the teasing grin made a comeback. "Jerk."  
  
But I spread my wings a little to catch the wind, and he let me slip from his arms, holding onto my hand so we wouldn't get separated. We flew side by side in a peaceful silence, until I spotted the dome off in the distance, barely visible.  
  
"Jesse?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Why were you so weak back there? I mean, I thought...you should have been strong enough to go through the ceiling. You shouldn't have passed out like that."  
  
I watched him shut his eyes, lifting his head to savor the breeze. His hair seemed longer as it was tossed behind him. "I was weakened...when I opened my eyes and saw my hand around your neck...I knew he had used my body again. I am always weakened after he..." He trailed off, staring ahead, his face giving away nothing.  
  
"Like when...Alexiel was inside me?"  
  
"I suppose. Only I do not boast your recovery abilities."  
  
"Jesse...who is 'he'?"  
  
"I do not know." Then he shook his head. "No, I won't lie...I do know. But I'm...afraid of him."  
  
"The first Dark King," I whispered.  
  
"I told you evil cannot be inherited, only taught. I lied, Susannah. Evil can be inherited. He has been alive through every dark king since his mortal death, and, because of my bond with Paul, through me as well."  
  
"So...you're possessed by Satan."  
  
"Sometimes," he said grimly.  
  
"And...how often does this happen?"  
  
"Not often."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
He suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Susannah...I don't...want to talk about it."  
  
The dome was slowly getting bigger, but we still had time before we would reach it. "Fine then. Answer another question."  
  
"What?"  
  
"When did you hypnotize me?"  
  
He laughed suddenly. "My God, you never give up."  
  
I smiled, glad to get the unhappiness off his face. "No, I don't. Now that our date and my outfit are completely ruined, I need a consolation prize. So just tell me when you hypnotized me."  
  
"You'll be mad at me..."  
  
"Jesse..."  
  
"Last night, when you came to my room," he said, and his smile widened. I so did not like the look on his face. Like he was remembering...things.  
  
"And?" I said, gritting my teeth.  
  
"And what?"  
  
"What did you make me do?"  
  
"You only asked when I hypnotized you," he said, his eyes twinkling. "That's an entirely different question, Susannah."  
  
"You jerk!" I said, and, not really knowing what came over me, I let go of his hand and swung myself onto his back.  
  
"Susannah--!" he laughed, falling a few feet before he regained his balance. I hung onto him, tugging playfully at his hair.  
  
"I'm not getting off until you answer my question, Jesse," I whispered in his ear.  
  
"As long as you ride me hard, I don't mind."  
  
Immediately I felt my face turning crimson. "Jerk."  
  
"I can't help it," he said, laughing. "It's so easy to embarrass you. I mean, I lift a brow, you blush. I smile, you shiver. I say hi, you stutter. Either there's something in the water, or—"  
  
"Or I love you!" I said throwing up my arms in defeat. "There, I admit it!" I lifted my face to the sky, and screamed at the desert, "I LOVE YOU!!! I LOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOU!!! LOOOOOO—ahhhhhhh!"  
  
We were suddenly free-falling. I lifted my wings to stay in flight, but Jesse grabbed me by the arms and pulled me against him. He was smirking at me as I found myself suddenly inches from his face, suddenly unable to breathe.  
  
"See what I mean?" he said, quirking an eyebrow. "How are we supposed to have a normal conversation..." He moved closer to me, and our lips touched as he spoke, "...when every time I do the littlest thing..." I felt his knee move between my legs, pressing against my center, and I gasped. "...you think about sex?"  
  
"I—" I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. "I do not!"  
  
"No lies, ma cherie," he said, waggling his eyebrows.  
  
I laughed. "Jesse, that's...that's French."  
  
"Thank you, ma ange de mort, I was not aware of that."  
  
"Stick with the Spanish," I said, smiling at him.  
  
"Okay..." We were almost to the ground when he finally said, "Yo te quiero."  
  
Then, inches from the ground, he flipped us over, catching the wind, and we began to rise again, leaving a cloud of dust where we had almost crashed. As he let me go again, holding my hand so we could fly side by side, I was smiling so wide I thought my face would crack. Jesse had just said he loved me. I knew what it meant because he used to tell me that every day, back when life was happier, before Paul ripped us apart.  
  
The dome loomed large when I finally said, "You still haven't answered my question."  
  
"What question?"  
  
"Jesse..."  
  
"It's not your turn yet."  
  
I blinked as we started going lower. "Turn?"  
  
"I still have to dare you, Susannah," he said with a secret smile.  
  
"Oh yeah..."  
  
"If you can handle my dare," he said with mock arrogance, "I'll answer your question."  
  
Our feet touched down on the dry ground, and we were standing in front of the dome. I turned to Jesse. His hair was messy, his eyes were bright, and he had a smile on his face. His previously soft, white shirt was now brown and kind of burned looking, and ripped down the middle so that I had a nice view of those classically washboard abs. Dry blood clung to his hands in a thin, peeling layer.  
  
I've chosen him...this is the man I love...  
  
"What are you thinking, querida?" he said, voice low.  
  
I looked at him. Really looked at him. He was so damn hot, but beyond that...beyond that, he was just Jesse. I wasn't really sure what that meant, "just Jesse". I guess it didn't really mean anything. But it was just so hard to understand...just what he meant to me. If that's what they call "True Love", then I wonder if whoever thought of it really knew what they were talking about. I mean, it's so easy to pretend to know, to think you know, what is it, really?  
  
Since I didn't want to say all this idiotic thinking out loud, I only said, "That I can handle any dare you throw at me."  
  
"Really?" he said, his eyes lowered, coy.  
  
He walked past me as I was still stuttering some asinine response. He placed his hand on the square panel between the huge metal doors. It beeped and said, "Hector DeSilva. One of the head officers of S.H.I.T. Welcome home."  
  
The doors rumbled open. Jesse offered me his hand. I looked at that hand, and it was like he was offering me so much more, like he could hold that hand out to me forever...  
  
I took his hand, everything it offered, and we walked together into the city.  
  
A/N: Hmmm...I kind of liked it near the end...Jesse's a funny guy...REVIEW, please...next chapter's already written, waiting for ten more reviews...(evil laugh)...  
  
TTFN 


	15. Drunk on Love

A/N: I HAVE BROKEN 200 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS CONTRIBTED, I'M SO HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Okay, now that that's out of my overloaded system...here's another weird chapter, enjoy...  
  
Rebirth—Chapter 14  
  
An hour later, I was walking out of the foggy bathroom back in my room at S.H.I.T. headquarters, drying my hair with a towel as I went. I stopped at the walk-in closet, considered the selection, and finally settled on a fuzzy green robe that looked just like one my mom had used to wear all the time. Felt like it too. The fact that it sort of smelled like it was probably just my imagination. But hey, stranger things have happened.  
  
Rose was lying on the bed when I came back into the bedroom. Bonnie had changed her into one of her summer pajamas, a puffy pink sleeping gown. Sheer white slippers adorned her small feet, and there was cute pink bow tying her thick hair back. Her face was so peaceful, her eyes shut, the tiniest smile playing across her lips. I heard once that kids always dream with the angels. I wondered if that applied only to human children, or if we damned angels are entitled to such pleasures. But then, Rose lived and played with the angels...the dark ones, too...so why should she care to dream with them? But still...I wondered if there really was a heaven, with beautiful angels serving the great God on his throne. If there was, shouldn't I be up there, away from all of this?  
  
Oh, yeah...the whole Death Angel thing. I'm being punished for someone else's crimes. And apparently, so is Rose. And Jesse. And Paul. And all the demons. And all the humans. God's putting everyone though Hell because of some stupid love triangle thing he was still sore about...and because some guy and girl a very long time ago decided to eat a fruit from a tree.  
  
Whatever. None of that mattered anymore. Right now, all that mattered was the little angel sleeping in front of me, and the demon that was...her father.  
  
I sat on the bed beside her, softly. She shifted and sighed, but didn't wake. A delicate hand was tossed across the pillows. I took it gently, and cradled its warmth in my hand.  
  
Jesse was Rose's father.  
  
I had known it all along. But somehow, I just hadn't realized it. Whenever I looked at her, I saw Jesse's warm eyes looking back at me, from a time when they were still wide and innocent, before they had become lost and jaded. Those were Jesse's lips, smiling at some secret world. Jesse's cool intellect. My hair, my nose, and my penchant for trouble. There wasn't a hint of anything Paulish in her. We had only spent one night together...  
  
Well, guess we should have used protection. If the world hadn't ended a few days later, I would have been in some really deep shit.  
  
I thought about the way Paul had taken me so violently that first time...he seemed so angry, furious, like he was trying not to kill me. I was so scared of him. He must have known. He must have known I was pregnant with Jesse's child. Whether he was hoping to give me a miscarriage, or to re- impregnate me, I don't know. Or maybe he was just trying to make it look like it was his child, after all.  
  
Which meant that he knew. He knew all along, that Jesse was still alive, and he was torturing him in that tiny cell for seven years. And he knew that Rose was his daughter. He knew.  
  
Fresh hate churned in my stomach. I was truly disgusted with Paul. He had so many good intentions, yet he was such a bastard. To everyone. Including me. And his daughter.  
  
Well, Jesse's daughter, biologically. But in her eyes, Paul was still "Father". Which posed another problem...now that I was with Jesse, she would have to know. I would have to tell her. How would she react to the shocking news? Would she reject Jesse? Would she miss Paul?  
  
Why did everything always have to be so damn complicated???  
  
"Your High—um, Suze," came a voice near the door. I turned. Bonnie was standing in the doorway in her sleeping gown, looking dead tired. Didn't she sleep all day? She must be seriously sleep-deprived.  
  
"Yes?" I said.  
  
"Will you be going to bed now?" It sounded almost like she was pleading with me. I smiled at her.  
  
"Don't worry about me, Bonnie. You look like you really need sleep, so go ahead. I'll just be up a while longer."  
  
She looked at me uncertainly. "Are you...sure? I'll stay up and wait for you..."  
  
I shook my head. "No, Bonnie. You're not our servant anymore. You're just a friend."  
  
Her eyes widened. "But—"  
  
"No, Bonnie." I stood, slowly, so Rose wouldn't wake, and I went to stand in front of Bonnie. She almost looked scared. "I'm not queen anymore. Paul denounced me. So if you still want to stick around and help out, it's out of the goodness of your own heart."  
  
Her lips quivered. Definitely scared. "My...my queen..."  
  
"No more, Bonnie. So don't worry, you can go to sleep. I won't die, I promise."  
  
She suddenly dropped to her knees in front of me, hugging my legs and nearly making me fall over. "You will always be my queen, Suze!" she wailed.  
  
"Shhhh!" I said, looking back at Rose. She was starting to twitch restlessly as Bonnie sobbed against me. "Okay, fine," I hissed. "I'm your queen, you're my servant, and I order you to shut up, go to sleep, and not worry about me anymore."  
  
She went quiet, holding onto me, hiccupping at odd moments. Then, slowly, she lifted her head and looked up at me with puffy red eyes. "...really?"  
  
"Yes. Now go."  
  
She stood, legs creaking as she did so. She wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her gown, and laughed softly. "I...I apologize. I'm just being silly now. It's just...I don't know anything else. If I have no queen to serve...I have...nothing."  
  
"I understand," I said solemnly, even though I kind of didn't.  
  
She stood there for a minute, looking lost, then she finally turned away with a sniffle. I watched her drift away like a ghost, disappearing into the kitchen. Well, if she wanted to wait up, it was her loss. There were things that needed to be settled before I hit the sack tonight.  
  
I left the room with one last glance back at Rose, who was now peacefully sleeping again. I was sure to close the bedroom door. I didn't want her to wake up if Bonnie decided to break down in sobs or anything. She must have just hit her mid-life crisis. I think mine was finally over.  
  
I went out into the hallway, looking around kind of nervously. Then I tip- toed over to Jesse's door. I wondered for a second if maybe I should wait until the morning...  
  
...and the door opened by itself.  
  
"Oh," I said in a tiny voice. Jesse was standing there almost exactly like he had been the night before...dripping wet, his hair slicked back from his face. Only this time, the towel wasn't wrapped so securely around his waist. Au contraire, he was gripping it loosely in his free hand, and it was rather...low on his hips. I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat. "Uh...sorry for interrupting. Again." I laughed, and it was a terrible squeaky sound. "I mean, I keep interrupting your showers."  
  
"You don't look so bad yourself," he said, and I realized his dark eyes were fixated a little lower than my face...I looked down, and saw my robe had fallen open a little when Bonnie grabbed me, exposing a line of flesh down the center of my body, ending around my lower-abdomen.  
  
I felt my face turning red. "Oh, sorry," I mumbled, grabbing the robe and holding it over me securely. I should have put on a shirt or something before I came over.  
  
"Make yourself comfortable," he said, and he turned and walked out of view. I peeked my head in a little nervously, just in time to see him walk into the bathroom, letting the towel slip away at the last moment. I had a split-second flash of a very nice ass. He didn't close the door behind him, I noticed. I wondered if that meant anything, then shook my head. Very nice ass.  
  
I shut the door behind me and moved to sit on the edge of the massive bed, still trying to shake away the image burned into my mind's eye. It was very difficult. I mean...that was a really nice—  
  
Well. You know.  
  
"Susannah?" Jesse's voice suddenly came from the bathroom.  
  
I stared at the open door, eyes wide. "Uh...yeah?"  
  
"Could you bring me a clean towel?"  
  
"W-what?" He expected me to go...in there...while he was naked? Didn't he already have a towel in there? Was it too wet? Couldn't he just use it to dry himself off?  
  
"I need a clean towel. They're in the closet. Could you bring me one, please?"  
  
I swallowed. His voice sounded earnest enough. "Um, okay." I walked to the already-open closet. The towels were near the top, much fluffier than the ones in my room, and colorful. I picked a red one. Don't ask why. It was soft to the touch, and I was jealous. I wanted soft pretty towels! The ones in our room were crappy hotel-quality squares of fabric...  
  
Yes, yes. Babbling again. I babble when I'm nervous.  
  
Clutching the red towel to my chest like a badge of honor, I edged along the wall towards the bathroom door.  
  
"Uh, Jesse?"  
  
"What? Can't find the towels?" There was an edge of laughter to his voice that freaked me out for some reason.  
  
"No...um...I mean..." How immature was I being? "Is everything covered?"  
  
Okay, that just sounded incredibly stupid.  
  
"Yes..."  
  
It was weird how that yes seemed to crawl over my skin, almost like a hand sliding over me...  
  
"I will not burn your eyes with the sight of my body; have no fear." He was definitely laughing at me with that one.  
  
"Whatever," I said. I don't like it when people laugh at me.  
  
I stuck my hand with the towel in first. I guess just to warn him that I was about to come in, you know, in case anything was hanging out in sight. Then the rest of me stepped in, so the towel was blocking my view of him.  
  
"Here," I said.  
  
This time he did laugh. "God, Susannah, I won't bite."  
  
I wasn't too sure about the not biting part...but I moved the towel over so I could see. It was a surprisingly big bathroom. Bigger than ours. The walls were a colorful mosaic of tile, and a huge mirror took up an entire wall. The mirror caught my eye first, and I saw myself holding out the towel like a total retart, my face pale and scared looking. At least the robe wasn't falling open.  
  
Then I looked beyond my reflection, and met Jesse's eyes. I spun around quickly, startled. He was lying in a huge black marble tub on the other end of the bathroom, watching me, his head cocked to the side. His hair had fallen around his face in thick, wet curls. A mountain of suds, thankfully, covered anything there might have been to see...well, except the knee that was lifted out of the water. One arm was dangling over the edge of the tub, the other was propped up on said knee, hanging limp. His magnificent wings were draped over the sides of the tub, and water clung to them like black diamonds.  
  
"Um," I said.  
  
He held out a hand wordlessly for the towel. I offered it to him. Unfortunately, we were on opposite ends of the room.  
  
"Susannah..."  
  
"Um," I said again.  
  
"Susannah, this doesn't have to be so difficult," he said as a dark, knowing smile curved his lips. "Just walk over here, give me the towel, and then walk back out."  
  
I moved over to the toilet, which stood a few feet away from the tub. A safe distance. "Um, I'll just leave it here for you..."  
  
"Susannah, please. Stop acting like a child."  
  
Jesse just told me to stop acting like a child. Like, he was my dad or something. I frowned at him, the flare of anger washing away the shyness like it had never been there. "Fine," I said, and I closed the distance to the tub and held the towel out to him.  
  
He stared at me from down there, and his eyes, which I had been trying to avoid, finally caught mine. Instantly I was trapped. I couldn't peel my eyes away from that intense look. There was just something so...primitive, enticing, in the way he looked at me. Like he wasn't really seeing me, but all the things he could do to me. That was probably just my imagination running away from me...  
  
Then his lips curved in a slow, wicked smile. That was definitely not my imagination. "What are you thinking, querida?"  
  
That was the second time he asked me that tonight. I must be giving away more than usual. I had the blank face routine down pretty well after living with Paul. But lately, with Jesse, I just couldn't pull it off anymore.  
  
"You tell me what you're thinking, and I tell you," I breathed. My arm was starting to get tired from holding the towel out too long.  
  
Jesse tilted his head back against the tile wall behind him, shutting his eyes. "I'm thinking about Rosie," he said.  
  
I lowered my arm. The towel seemed too damn heavy all of a sudden.  
  
"Is she really my daughter? Or did you just say that?"  
  
"Can't you tell?" I said.  
  
"I feel a—" he waved his hands a little, searching for the right word. "—bond with her. I can't explain it. But I thought it was just me wishing she could be my daughter."  
  
I kneeled beside the tub, draping the towel over my thighs, and gazed at his beautiful face, leaning back against the wall. The length of his smooth throat was exposed, and the top of his chest...the rest of him was covered in pinkish bubbles.  
  
"She's a beautiful little girl," he said, speaking softly. "She reminds me so much of you..."  
  
"And she reminds me of you," I said. His obsidian eyes half-opened, so he watched me without lifting his head. I reached out a hand to his face, hesitating over the skin. I finally touched my fingers to his cheek, and he closed his eyes again with a sigh. His skin was cool, and I had the strange sensation again of his body heat hovering over him, rather than radiating from him. I cupped his cheek, stroking a finger near his temple, and slowly slid my hand to his hair, tangling my fingers in the silky black locks.  
  
"She has your eyes, and your smile," I whispered, leaning my chin on the edge of the tub, staring at the ungodly realms of his face. I smoothed the hair away from him, so that his face was plain and unadorned, glowing with otherworldly light. "She's has your beauty, your intelligence, and your weird sense of humor." I moved my hand down to his shoulder, and his wings caught my eye. They were a shadow forever hovering at his back, the most obvious sign of his...evil. Evil? Jesse wasn't evil...so why was he considered one of the forsaken? Why should the fact that he had black wings determine the fate of his soul? He did not choose to be what he was. He just...was.  
  
"...my...fall from grace..." he suddenly whispered. I glanced back at his face. No expression. He spoke again, lips barely moving. "...save me from...myself..."  
  
"Jesse..."  
  
He fell silent, looking as if he had dozed off. His arms were limp, hanging over the tub, nearly touching the floor. Water dripped steadily from his fingertips, forming small puddles in the cracks between the floor tiles. The sudden silence was almost spooky.  
  
I sighed and turned, sitting on the cold tile, my back against the tub. The red towel was still on my lap. I tossed it towards the toilet. It missed completely and flopped noiselessly to the floor. Oh, well. Life's like that sometimes.  
  
"I was thinking about how beautiful you are," I murmured thoughtfully, staring down at my hands. "How you've always been beautiful. Since the moment I met you, you were like..." I laughed a little, thinking about how stupid I sounded, "...like forbidden fruit, you know? I'd always want you, but I'd never have you. I was too young to know what love was. I think I'm still too young." I felt my head tip forward a little, my eyes shutting, and I lifted it quickly. I was bobbing my head like I had always done in school, during algebra. I could never seem to stay awake during that period.  
  
"But whatever this is, it feels good, ya know?" My eyes were closing by themselves, and I couldn't stop them. "Real good..."  
  
I'm talking to myself...  
  
"I just wish..."  
  
All alone...  
  
"I just wish I didn't have to hurt anybody..." I smiled a little as I acknowledged vaguely the fact that I was falling forward. "You, Paul, Rose...everybody...nobody..."  
  
Hands caught me by the shoulders, strong, pulling me back against the side of the tub, holding me there.  
  
"Jesse?" I said through a yawn. "Oh...you're not sleeping..."  
  
Cool, wet hands slid down from my shoulders, lower, lower...slipping just inside my robe, lingering at the tops of my breasts. I shook myself awake, blinking the fuzz out of my eyes.  
  
"What are you..."  
  
My voice trailed off as I looked in the mirror across from me. I saw myself, sitting against the tub, eyes startlingly dark against the paleness of my skin. He had lifted himself from the water and loomed behind me in glistening, soapy glory, his arms around me possessively, wings curving around either side of me like claws. The silken blackness of his feathers covered everything except our reflection in the mirror, and I suddenly felt slightly claustrophobic, like I was trapped, like I couldn't escape...  
  
We stared at each other in the mirror for a long moment, his eyes dark and provocative, lips set in a grim line, so hungry, so...  
  
I let out an embarrassing little moan as there was the sudden sensation of cool fingers running down my sides...then Jesse was leaning over me, moving his hands so that they wrapped around me, still not going too low. That's the only way to put it—he wrapped himself around me in a graceful, almost catlike movement, pressing against my back, nuzzling his head into the crook of my neck and shoulder. His wings came around me completely, startling me. It was like night had suddenly descended, blocking everything else. His wings seemed to absorb the light, creating a vast, sensual void. Suddenly nothing existed except my heavy breathing, and Jesse's body against mine. His breath was a soft tickle at my throat.  
  
"Dark..." I murmured, and my voice came slow, almost slurred.  
  
"Very," he whispered obscenely against me.  
  
I shuddered as something cold and electric seemed to crawl up my spine. It felt like I was trapped for an eternity in that void, in Jesse's steel embrace. Feeling him breathe. I heard that sound again...a faint, faraway drum, beating frantically, which I knew was my heart trying to rip out of my chest. Only this time, there was a second drum, out of sync with mine, slower, stronger sounding.  
  
"You fear me," he murmured suddenly, and it was the voice of the seduction, tempting me in the cool darkness. "You fear...this..." His lips dragged slowly across my skin, across the back of my neck, to the other side, to hover over my jugular. He planted a soft kiss there, barely touching the skin. I was frozen, unable to breathe. The demon was draped over my body, luring me into him, entrapping me in a web of dark, unspoken promises...  
  
"I can...smell you..." he said, his voice so low, so intimate. "Your blood...your fear...your desire..."  
  
I felt the hard brush of his sharp canines against my throat, and I jolted as if he had bitten me. He laughed softly, pleased at my confusion. I was filled with a maddening combination of lust and horror. Since neither feeling seemed willing to take over completely, I was left with the strangest sensation of floating, not knowing what to believe.  
  
"I want all of it, Susannah..."  
  
I sighed as I felt his tongue caress my fluttering pulse, suddenly drunk with this overpowering flood of passion...  
  
"Will you give me all of it? All of...you...?" His voice was sliding over my body like soft silk, leaving tingling trails of ice and fire over my skin...  
  
"...Jesse...what the hell are you..."  
  
"Can you give me everything? Can you satisfy my every desire?"  
  
"...stop it..."  
  
I felt him smile against me. "You want me to stop?"  
  
I struggled to swim back into consciousness, but everything was dark, warm, dream-like. I couldn't think straight. "Yes...I mean, no, no. I don't want you to stop. No. But I'm..."  
  
"You're scared..." he whispered, and his voice was too good. Too silky, rich, touchable. "But...you want me so bad, so bad..."  
  
"You're hypnotizing me..."  
  
"No, querida...the lust is yours alone. Why do you fight it?"  
  
"I don't like "  
  
I felt his hands venture lower, seeking...  
  
"Just one night," he breathed against me. "Just let me own you...one night..."  
  
"Rose..."  
  
"Rosie?" I let out a quiet gasp as one of his hands found my breast, teasing me between skillful fingers. "Rosie will still be here when the morning comes, querida."  
  
"But..."  
  
The robe was suddenly sliding from my shoulders, pushed by an unseen force.  
  
"Susannah..." his voice was thick, lazy. "Let me drink of thee, sweet angel...drown in your...blood..."  
  
The robe suddenly fell away completely, and his heat embraced me, drawing a sigh from my lips. I was in another reality, wrapped in him, protected and loved, precious shadows deluding the pain of reality.  
  
"So...sweet...let me drink..." I felt once again the hard press of fangs, but this time, I could only smile strangely. "I...dare you..."  
  
My head was so dizzy, foggy. I didn't understand, somehow. All I knew was that the keys to heaven were being given to me on a sliver platter, and all I had to do was say yes. I gave a soft moan, and I felt his hand on my jaw, tilting my head, exposing the side of my throat to those hungry eyes...and when I felt his sharp sting, I flinched, not understanding, and panic flew over me before I was suddenly being lowered gently to the floor, and the world was blindingly white, his wings lifting away and arching behind him in graceful unison, his beautiful body over me, exquisite, precious...I moaned and felt pleasure flood over my body, like fur rubbing all over me, tingling and wonderful. I felt my blood rushing and my heart pounding like a desperate, trapped thing; I heard someone making strange, alien sounds, and realized it was me. I threw my arms around him, bringing him closer to me. I rode on waves of pleasure, flying, soaring. It was suddenly too much, and I could feel my hands convulsing on his back, drawing lines of blood as I raked my nails down his skin. Jesse shuddered against me, and made a low, guttural sound before he finally lifted his head away from me, his eyes dim and unfocused. He said something faintly in Spanish, and a slow, dreamy smile spread his lips...his lips, which were smeared with blood.  
  
MY blood.  
  
"Holy shit," I choked, trying to regain my senses. But my head was still exploding with that unreal sensation. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before...  
  
"No, I'm unholy," I heard Jesse say thoughtfully.  
  
"You...you sucked my blood." I jammed my eyes shut, trying to get rid of the pounding, the sensation of being so alive, so high. "You..."  
  
"I drank of you," he said, voice dripping with sex. "Ah...so beautiful...like fine wine..."  
  
I shot him a "god, you're insane" look, and he chuckled. He had me exactly where he'd always wanted me...on the floor, clothes off, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, separating us...and he had gone for my neck. My NECK. How telling was that?  
  
"I can't believe you just sucked my blood," I muttered darkly. Now that the sensation was slipping away, I was aware of a painful throb at my neck. I touched it delicately, and felt two neat puncture wounds. The area was clean; no blood had seeped out, which was a wonder unto itself. But how...how had it felt so damn good?!  
  
So good, it was scary...  
  
"Jesus," I said, and I craned my head upward, staring at the open door of the bathroom. I wondered if he would do it again, draining me, and if I should try to make a break for it. Jesse's deep laughter from above me suddenly sounded threatening. I...I really didn't want him doing that again. Ever.  
  
Jesse sucked my blood...ew...  
  
"God, Susannah," he said, still smiling pleasantly at me. His fingers played at my still-damp hair, massaging my scalp nicely, and my eyes shot back to him. Now, I was getting a little scared. Jesse was positively beaming down at me, his eyes misty, seeming not to see. The fact that he was hovering naked over me was trivial. Okay, not entirely trivial—I couldn't stop myself from shooting interested glances down the length of his body, ogling those abs in particular—but still. His head was lowering, moving down towards me, his lips coming towards mine...okay, a kiss, I can do, even if my blood is all over his lips...but then his head sort of bobbed, eyes half-closing, and his lips skimmed across my cheek instead...  
  
...and, with a half-moan, half-grunt kind of sound, he collapsed on top of me, and I gave a small scream of surprise.  
  
"Oh my God! Jesse are you alright?" I demanded, shaking him.  
  
"I think I'm drunk," was his response, muffled against my shoulder.  
  
"What??? Drunk on my blood???"  
  
"You have...strange blood..."  
  
Okay, he just totally seduced me, and tricked me into letting him bite me. Then he SUCKED MY BLOOD, and he has the nerve to tell me that I have strange blood? STRANGE BLOOD????  
  
No. No way was I standing for this.  
  
"Oh, well, thanks," I sneered, and I lifted myself up with my hands, ignoring how niiiiiiice his body felt against mine all warm and wet, and, with great effort, struggled out from beneath him. I crawled around him to my robe, still rumpled at the foot of the tub, and shrugged back into it.  
  
"Susannah..." came his voice, somehow hollow and deadened. "Help, please..."  
  
I turned and stared at him face-down on the floor, and...oh my god, that was a REALLY NICE—  
  
No! Bad Suze! Jesse needs your help!  
  
I ripped my eyes away from him, and spotted the towel I had gotten for him in a pile by the toilet. I picked it up and, struggling not to molest him or anything, placed over it his lower body, shielding my burning eyes from that INCREDIBLE—  
  
(A/N: cough...um...er...weird...)  
  
"Susannah..."  
  
"Hold on—" I wrapped my arms around him, sliding my hands under him, over that nice stomach, "—can you stand?"  
  
He lay unresponsive for a few seconds, then his arms moved, painfully slow, lifting his body off of the floor...I caught the towel and held it around him, pulling his nearly dead weight up off the floor, until we were both standing, and he was leaning heavily on me.  
  
"Damn, you're heavy," I said.  
  
He only moaned quietly. His eyes were completely glazed over, blind, and his face was slack, as if he no longer had control over his facial muscles. Was he...okay?  
  
"Jesse—"  
  
"Get me to...the bed," he wheezed, face scrunching with the effort of talking.  
  
Maybe he was more than just "drunk". Maybe my blood was...poison to him or something. A demon drinking an angel's blood...was that safe? What if he was—  
  
I shook those scary thoughts out of my mind, and stumbled out of the bathroom, half pulling, half dragging Jesse across the thick carpet to the bed, where he collapsed, lifeless.  
  
"J-Jesse?!"  
  
His lips made a small movement, but his sightless eyes stared towards the ceiling, grayish.  
  
"Jesse!"  
  
I climbed on the bed, tugging his legs along with me...I was getting really worried. I mean...he looked so...dead. For the third time tonight. Did God really hate our love that much?  
  
I shuddered at the thought, and leaned over him, peering into his face. "Jesse? Please..." I grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking gently, then harder, watching him flop limply on the mattress, and suddenly I was crying helplessly, jerking his body up and down, screaming at him to do anything, anything—blink, twitch, shout, slap me, anything, anything—just don't—  
  
"Su...sa...nahh...st...op..."  
  
I gasped, and jerked my hands away. He fell back against the bed. I stared at him, still so stiff and dead...and then his eyes gave one long, slow blink, and I let out the breath I had been holding.  
  
"Oh my god...Jesse, I'm so sorry..." I was crying again, silent tears rolling down my cheeks, but this time it was in relief.  
  
He lifted a hand, covering his face, and moaned again. "Nombre de Dios, Susannah," he groaned, and I felt like laughing and crying and kissing him all at the same time. But I restrained myself, because he might still be hurt. I leaned over him again, stretching over his body so I could get a good look at his face...  
  
There was one glimmering onyx eye glaring at me from between his fingers. "Susannah...you didn't have to shake me so hard."  
  
"Well...you didn't have to drink my blood," I offered with a smile.  
  
He rolled his eyes, dragging his hand away from his face. "Too tempting," he said. "Besides, that felt...extremely good."  
  
He sat up, and I moved away from him. His eyes were dark and aware again, staring around him moodily. He was painfully close to me...with only that towel draped over him...  
  
He turned slowly towards me, as if he had caught that stray thought. Had he? I don't know...but that gaze was liquid heat...dangerous...  
  
"So...what did you make me do when you hypnotized me?"  
  
He blinked as if coming out of a trance. "What?"  
  
"You know...you dared me to let you bite me, and I did. So, now—"  
  
"You didn't ask me whether I wanted a Truth or a Dare," he rudely interrupted.  
  
"Oh..." I eyed him warily. "Fine...Truth or Dare?"  
  
He smiled that slow, sexy smile, his brow arched wickedly as he breathed, "Dare."  
  
"Okay, what did you—hey!"  
  
His eyes glittered in amusement.  
  
"You—you jerk! You were supposed to pick Truth!"  
  
Grrrrrrr...now I was mad. Mad enough to do what I did next. Which was to, um, pounce on him. Yes, weird, embarrassing...but I jumped on top of him, shoving him back down onto the bed. He was laughing hysterically as I leaned close and hissed in his face, "I want to know what you made me do, Jesse...or else..."  
  
"Or else what?" he said, amused. "You'll spank me?"  
  
"Nope," I said with a smile, too annoyed even to blush. I tickled a line down his rock-hard stomach, teasing my fingers around his navel, and he smirked at me. "...I'll go back to my room."  
  
He frowned. "Well, that's a boring threat. Who says I'm even going to let you leave?"  
  
I narrowed my eyes at him. "You wouldn't..."  
  
"But I would, Susannah," he said in mock solemnity, his eyes widening innocently. Innocent my ass.  
  
"You know, three minutes ago you were completely incapacitated, barely breathing, practically dead...and now all of a sudden, AFTER I HELPED YOU DRAG YOUR LAZY BUTT TO BED," I gritted my teeth against the ever darkening humor on his face, "You're back to your old asshole self, insinuating that you'd...force yourself on me. Now, is there something wrong here, or is it just me?"  
  
"Oh, there is something wrong here, Susannah," he said, his voice a silken purr. "Very wrong."  
  
I wasn't sure what he meant, but I was suddenly uncomfortably aware that I was straddling him, and his hands were on either side of my waist, holding me in place, and there was that little towel, and my little robe...  
  
God, there were many things wrong here!  
  
"Okay, I dare you to let go of me, now," I told him, an edge of panic creeping into my voice.  
  
"Susannah..." Oh, that annoyed him.  
  
"I mean it, Jesse." Then I felt his hands slipping away a little... "I mean, um, no, I don't mean it...I mean...uh..."  
  
"Susannah," he laughed. "My God, make up your mind! You are the most confusing person I know!"  
  
I glowered down at him from my superior position, crossing my arms. "Yeah, well, fine then." I sniffed snobbishly. "I dare you to...to tell me the truth about what you made me do when you hypnotized me!"  
  
His eyes slid shut, and he sighed in exasperation. "You waste your dare on such idiocy...very well, last night, when you came to room, I hypnotized you while you were standing by the window, staring at the moon. I came up behind you, and you didn't hear me. You were thinking about God, and why he left us alone here to rot into the disgusting souls we've become, the meaning of life, all kinds of unanswerable questions...and without you aware, I extended my aura of...persuasion over you, and asked you what you truly, truly, deep down thought of me."  
  
I blinked in surprise. "Oh...that's it?"  
  
He flashed me a feral grin. "Well, what did you think I made you do? Fuck me? Susannah, I am a gentleman."  
  
I snorted. "Yeah, and gentlemen toss the flying "F" around like it's nothing." I fell silent a second, then curiosity got the best of me... "So, um...what did I say?"  
  
"You don't know what you think about me?" he asked in mild amusement.  
  
"Jesse," I said, shooting him a dark look. "I'm just curious. I want to know what I said while I was under your evil influence."  
  
"Very well..." He closed his eyes again, leaning his head back against the satin pillow, dark hair framing his unholy beauty... "You came to me, and kissed me gently, then you whispered a strangely poetic verse against my lips..."  
  
I raised a brow. "Oh?"  
  
"Yesssss..."  
  
I ignored the weird way he said that.  
  
"You told me...  
  
"'Oh, Dark Angel You are still, an angel at heart An angel in spirit Your wings shine brightly Pray that they will work Pray that you won't fall'  
  
"...and then you turned away from me, and said, 'Pray that I won't fall'. And you went back to the window, pressing your face against the glass. And I spoke, and the spell shattered."  
  
"Wow," I said thoughtfully. "I'm deep."  
  
"Indeed," he mused. "I've thought very hard about those wise words."  
  
"Yeah?" I, personally, was wondering why there wasn't any declaration of my undying love in there. Did that mean there was no undying love? Or did the weird poem signify my love in some funky, symbolic way? I wondered if Jesse was wondering about the same thing. But then, Jesse just said my words were wise. So then he liked them. Or maybe he meant wise as in, a wise-ass way. Or maybe—  
  
"Susannah," Jesse interrupted my thoughts with a mysterious smile. "I almost wish I could see into your thoughts still. You often thought about strange things, but I miss your celestial musings." He looked wistful as he said, "And I miss hearing how gorgeous I am."  
  
"Watch it," I warned ominously.  
  
He had the nerve to laugh at me. And then—you're not gonna believe this one, cause I almost didn't—his eyes went wide and googly, and he batted his long lashes at me in a feminine way. Then, in this high-pitched, squeaky, totally NOT ME voice, he went, "Oh, Jesse looks so yummy! Ah, he's so beautiful! Oh, I wish he would kiss me! He's so damn sexy! Oh, Jesse, oh, oh, ohhhhhhh!"  
  
"Jesse—" But really, I was laughing way too hard to be angry. Seriously. God help us if Jesse ever decides that's he's been a closet gay this whole time.  
  
Now, there's a scary thought.  
  
"Jesse...oh, god, Jesse..." I lowered myself to him, laying my head down on his chest with a smile. I breathed in his warm, soapy scent, and I loved every inch of him. "...Jesse..."  
  
His hands on my waist tightened, and he murmured above me, "So...now it's my turn. Truth or Dare?"  
  
"I can't believe we're still playing that stupid game," I grinned.  
  
"I keep hoping it'll lead to something fun. It could, if you would only decided what you want."  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
He sighed heavily, and it trembled, like...I don't know. Like he was holding something back. I felt him shift under me as he craned to see the clock. "Quarter to three." One of his hands left my waist then. I felt it travel up my body pleasantly, stopping under my chin. He lifted my head up just enough for us to have eye contact. His face was set in grim lines as he said, "Don't tell me, 'It's getting late, and I need to go'. Don't tell me that, Susannah."  
  
I smiled at him. I wasn't sleepy at all. What girl could be sleepy when they're lying on top of this god of a man? I opened my mouth to tell him I wasn't leaving yet, and something else tumbled out instead.  
  
"Dare."  
  
He smiled back at me. A big smile. I got that warm fuzzy feeling, you know? The one that tingles and makes you feel all good inside.  
  
"I dare you to kiss me."  
  
Okay. A kiss. No big deal. I can do a kiss. I can definitely do a kiss. I looked down at those soft, pouty, slightly open, bloody lips—bloody??? Oh. Oh well. I really didn't care...  
  
His hand, still on my chin, drew me down to him, his eyes were so dark, so dark, drowning, drowning deep...  
  
And the next thing I knew, he was giving me the most thorough, most beautiful, most passionate, fiery, longing, caressing, lingering, possessive kiss I had ever experienced. I was lost in him, lost in those eyes, falling into him, and he was drinking me down, all of me.  
  
A kiss? Yeah, I can do a kiss, no prob. Oh...hand slipping inside my robe? Uh...yeah, sure, that feels real nice. Telling me you love me as you come up for air, and then going right back to kissing me? REAL nice. Other hand untying my robe, and slowly tugging it off my shoulders, while my hands pull that damn towel out of the way?  
  
You know what?  
  
That's just perfect.  
  
A/N: I thought hard about whether or not to put an explicit sex scene in here. Somehow, I just didn't think it fit. So, I hope you all understand what's happening without me having to, ahem, spell it out...  
  
On another note, I just felt like mentioning that that one line I made our wild little Jesse say...  
  
Can you give me everything? Can you satisfy my every desire?  
  
...is actually a quote I got from an article on Johnny Depp, which mentioned that this was his response to a waitress when she asked him what he would like. Funny guy, no?  
  
cough  
  
Yeah, real funny...  
  
swoons, pretending to the waitress satisfying Johnny's every desire  
  
What? Food, you know? That's what waitresses do! What were you dirty people thinking?!?!?!  
  
J/k, you people are good and clean. (I hope)  
  
Ha, ha...okay, now, REVIEW, my nice, clean people...  
  
Oh, and I have a message for Lolly and NiceHaley...UPDATE ADDICTED AND FLASHLIGHT!!!!!! I—I'M ADDICTED TO YOUR STORIES, I NEED MORE NOOOOOOW!!!!!!  
  
Ha, ha....addicted to Addicted...and your Paul is driving me insaaaaaaaane. Lol, I can't believe you guys have made me like Paul. Now that's talent. So UPDATE!!!!  
  
TTFN 


	16. Princess of Decadence

A/N: Heh heh…….no, I'm not dead. I've had TERRIBLE writer's block, my family is falling apart, my life is a mess, college anxiety is killing me, I have no boyfriend, and Bush was re-elected. So yeah……..no, this is not over……pardon me for the EXCRUTIATINGLY LONG update. I'm so sorry, everyone…………..Lolly, Haley--I'm running right now to catch up on Flashlight….but it's late and I have crazy homework to do, so I can't read right now…..but I'll save it all to my comp. and read it later, I promise!!!!!! I HOPE YOU'RE THE STORY YOU SENT TO THE PUBLISHER GETS—UM—PUBLISHED!!!!!!

Please don't hate me…and thank you for still caring, you guys rock unbelieveably…

NOTE: I tried reposting it because its hard to tell when the POV changes, but it's not letting me put ANY kind of break between the lines, I have NO idea why, God just hates me, so...so the est you can...I'm sorry!

Rebirth Chapter 15

"Oh, Dark Angel

You are still, an angel at heart

An angel in spirit

Your wings shine brightly

Pray that they will work

Pray that you won't fall…"

Cold. Bitter cold. It stung like needles, pricked like knives. I wanted to get out. I wanted to escape. But…I was blind. Everything looked the same…endless void…lost…

I hugged my arms around my body. My fingers slipped over my naked back. A thick wetness covered the skin there. The moment I touched it, my stomach lurched at the sensory memory, and my throat convulsed. I remembered the pain. The worst pain imaginable. Indescribable in mere human words. The pain of having them…slashed away from my body. So vital, a part of the soul. Without them, I was no longer what God made me. Without them, I had no power, no beauty.

All hope abandoned. I knew where I was. It was a place Father had told me of in bedtime stories, and only when Mommy didn't know. He would lean over me, so close that I felt my body squirm, and whisper so that his breath was a hot wind on my face. My eyes would grow wider with every horrible word. Sick fascination would make me stay there, trapped beneath him in the dark, while he terrified me with his smile, his memories, his touches…

True Hell.

He told me that what lied upon the earth was a mere shadow of it. The truest Hell, the deepest Evil, he said, lied inside each of us. Deep inside…deeeeeep inside, in places we never dared to look. He told me that True Hell was entrapment of the Heart. That one day, he would release it, and the universe would nothing but pure evil. And he would rule over it all. He would be God. And I would be beside him, helping him rule over the poor souls twisted by their own hearts.

The Princess of Decadence, he called me. He said it with love.

Even Mommy would suffer, he said.

And at the time, I smiled back at him. It all sounded so…glamorous.

Until now. Until it was my turn. Until I saw it, felt it. Felt his dream.

This was Father's dream…the death of everything. Pure destruction. Nothingness.

This was True Hell…and it was me.

"Rose…Rose, my sweet…" 

I looked up, and amidst the swell of blackness, I saw something. A light. Warmth. It washed over my broken body, at once welcome. At once, beautiful. I lifted my arms to that light, and it reached down and caught me. Plucked me from the depths of my nightmares, and brought me into reality.

The same nightmare, I'd had for days now. Like some kind of prophecy, which somehow would be self-fulfilling. It was within me. That intelligence, that presence. It was common to all in my bloodline, but it did not hold quite the same power over me as it did over my ancestors, because I also had the blood of an angel. It could not control my actions, but it held domain over my thoughts, my dreams, my fantasies. I knew I had thoughts no eight-year-old was meant to have. I knew I had visions that would haunt ordinary children.

"Rose…please, help me…my child…" 

"I'm coming, Father," I said tonelessly. I flung my feet over the edge of the bed, and dropped to the floor.

"Hurry…" 

I scurried across the darkened carpet, to the door, which was cracked open. Bright light filtered in through that inch. I peered out from the shadow of the bedroom, and saw a lump beneath a blanket thrown across the couch. Bonnie was sleeping. I crept past her noiselessly, and reached the hall without incident. My eyes were drawn to the room across from ours, where I knew Mommy was. Mommy…and Jesse. My eyes lingered a moment on that door. I had an urge to knock on it. I wanted to stop myself from fulfilling the prophecy. I wanted to curl up between them beneath the covers. I wanted to have a home. I wanted…to be a kid…

"Rose! Hurry!" 

My feet began moving as if they had a mind of their own. I flitted down the silent hallway like a phantom, my sleeping gown trailing over the floor behind me.

So tiny…so useless…I was born for this sacrifice…

At the end of the hallway, the entire wall was covered with glass. A gleaming window. A portal to my death. Outside, I could see the stars dancing in the sky. Fake stars. The moon was perfectly round, dazzling in its radiant luminosity…a fake moon. A farce. The real world was dead. Life was dead. He had killed it. All of it.

"Rose…I am just below…" 

I gritted my teeth, tensed my body to take that final leap…

…but nothing happened. I wouldn't move. I couldn't. I was rooted to the floor.

"Rose…I'm…dying…" 

Born…to awaken Alexiel…born…to die…

"ROSE!" 

I flinched at his scream, inside my mind. My skull trembled with the force of it. I…I wanted to. I wanted to fly to him. But I couldn't move! Why didn't he understand? Why? Why? Where was my Father?

Useless…useless…

I've been struggling all along…and now he's come for me, finally…come to take me away.

And I couldn't do it. At the very last moment, my stupid childish fears have gotten in the way of his dreams.

"Do it…now…or I'll hate you forever…I'll kill your mother, and HIM…I'll kill everything you've come to love…"

"I'm sorry, Father," I whimpered pathetically. "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry I'm so weak!"

"JUMP NOW!" 

My fingertips touched the cold glass. It seemed to bend beneath my hands, like plastic. I stared outside at the beautiful metropolis, so full of life, so full of busy people. They had their silly plan to overthrow the king, to conquer the kingdom of Hell. But they didn't know what I knew. I knew the secret.

It was unkillable. Because it was inside all of us. Inside of me…yes, even inside of a baby angel.

That is why I have no purpose but this. To give his dream life by creating death.

His perfect world. Father. My true Father. The Ultimate.

Amen.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

So…warm…strong…

The night flitted by me like a thief, so quickly I almost felt it had stolen the very breath out of me. Memories were so vague…twisted sheets…strong, knowing fingers…eyes that burned into me so they were there even when I shut my eyes…a smile that played upon his lips every time he made me scream out in sweet ecstasy. He gave no mercy. Once I laid myself down before him, he shattered me with that painful pleasure over and over again. His face, half-cast into the shadows…oh, that pleasure that was so sinful…his wicked delight…he never once gave in, not until the bitter end, when we finally twined out limbs together, tangling ourselves into one, sweaty, heaving pretzel.

Okay, yeah. Bad image there.

But God…was this so sinful? Am I damned now, for my sexy demon lover who had me twisted around his pinky finger and could bend me to his will in so many ways? Is this precious night a flaw, a mistake, in Your all-seeing eyes?

"Jesse?" I whispered. My body was still trembling from him, and my voice was almost gone. Damn, was my throat sore.

"Mmmmm?"

I shut my eyes as I felt the his voice rumble against my body, deep in his chest…

"Did we really just do this?"

"Regrets, querida?" There was a smirk on his face. Like he knew…who the hell would regret that?

"No," I said. But only a tired croak wheezed itself out of my throbbing vocal cords.

He laughed, a deep, masculine sound behind me. He sounded so…satisfied with himself. Like he had conquered me, or something. Vague fury uncoiled itself, deep within me, knowing no target. What was I trying to say? What did I want to say? I didn't remember. I couldn't remember. But something felt wrong. Something felt so wrong. Why? Why?

"Good…"

His hand snaked over my stomach, so cold and burning at the same time, and I gasped, suddenly not able to think. Suddenly not able to breathe. His touch wiped away that feeling, made everything so very…RIGHT. Yes, so right…so right…

"Because I want some more…"

Holy shit, the guy was never satisfied. I wasn't sure my body could take another round before something broke, but unfortunately, I was having troubles voicing this fear. Partly because my voice was shot, and partly because he was slowly rolling me onto my back and sliding over me in a tantalizing, predatory crawl, making my throat tight, as well as other things. His hands slid up, up; those eyes dared me with scandalous lure. I stared up at him like a pathetic, trapped deer, feeling so damn…stupid. He was so in control of everything. I was so weak. I didn't give him any pleasure…he did all the work. I was so incapacitated…

I made some squeaky noises, and he cocked a brow. "Can't find your voice?" He stroked my cheek gently—but even that chaste touch sent heat rushing downwards to pool in my stomach. I was blushing, and his night-vision held nothing from him. He smiled down at me, genuine and without secret meaning. "Ah, Susannah…your rosy cheeks are so charming."

"Jesse—" I finally choked out painfully, "I'm sorry—I'm no good—I mean, I can't—shit, my voice—"

He silenced me with a finger on my lips. "Querida, you are beautiful…precious…"

"You have to be bored," I squeaked at him.

His finger, which had been stroking my chin lightly, froze. His eyes lost all humor. He looked at me and said in this deadpan voice, "You must be joking me."

I took some offense at that. I mean, this did not look to me like the time or place for jokes. Well, Jesse's kind of jokes, maybe. But not jokes about my possible less-than-stellar abilities.

He rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling. "Jesus Cristo," he said in a somewhat annoyed voice, and in one swift motion he rolled us over so that I was suddenly and unexpectedly sitting on his stomach. I wondered briefly if he was having any trouble breathing, but the way his hands on my hips were holding me in place, not letting me move an inch, I guess he liked me just where I was. Only problem was, from this angle, his face was entirely in shadows. It was really unnerving, not knowing what his face looked like, or even if he was looking at me at all. Creepy, ya know?

"I'll tell you a secret, Susannah," his voice floated up from the shadow, and I nearly swooned as his hand tickled playfully up my stomach. "The only way to make me scream…" He hit what he had learned was one of my—er—"sensitive" spots, and I quivered, "…is to use your power."

"My…power," I intoned in my rusty voice.

"Let loose, Susannah," he instructed. "Let loose…unleash the fire within."

"The fire…"

"Do it."

"It will…hurt you."

"Susannah…"

"…no."

"Susannah…" Kind of angry sounding this time.

"I said no."

"God, Susannah—"

"What?!" I sputtered. "What—I'm just worried about hurting you, okay?!"

"Susannah, I will not break." He laughed a little, and it breathed across my skin like something alive. "…unless you want me to."

I felt around, probing into my own soul, and found the corner where the power was hiding. Felt it—no, her—awaken as if from a deep sleep, blinking delicately. It was such a real sensation that I swore I could almost see her, lying on the ground, beautiful, dark ebony hair flared about her, wondering why she was being summoned. See her sit up, then realize what was taking place, and smile—should angels smile that way?—and lift up a pale, long-fingered hand. A hand that suddenly glowed with a light from within. She gave me a piece of that earth-shattering power…a tiny, bite-sized piece, just enough to shatter Jesse. I knew. I knew what she had granted me. I also knew something else.

I wasn't in control. Any plans to keep her trapped in my soul were shot, because more than anything, I was the trapped one.

I stared down at Jesse, and I could see him. The night no longer hid him from my angel eyes. I could see the way he was staring up at me, patiently, waiting for whatever I might do. When he realized I could see him, that I was looking right into his eyes, he gave a long, slow blink. And that was it. His face was slack, giving nothing away. Almost like he had died, and his eyes stared eternal at me. But dead eyes don't have that fierceness. Dead eyes don't have that animal inside, staring back out at you.

The angel smiled inside me, and her smile curled my lips, as though it were she sitting here. My—her—power fell over us in a wash of glow, illuminating the room. Jesse watched me with those intense eyes, so damn trusting. He had seen what I did to the city, and still he trusted me. Well, I was sure he could probably do the same, but…well, he didn't lose control like me. He just didn't.

This time, the angel was guiding me. This time, she helped me control the power, instead of just giving it to me.

I leaned over him, and words that I didn't say came clear, strong… "Touch the fire, demon, and it shall burn."

He raised his brows quizzically, mildly amused at my choice of words. But his amusement died, I noticed, when I splayed my hands over his muscular chest, over his heart. Suddenly that heart pounded painfully fast against my palm, and Jesse sputtered something almost comically in Spanish, eyes wide. And right there, with just the touch of my hands, I did make Jesse scream. I was filled with her dark amusement as I watched him, saw him grow as helpless as I had been. Controlled. I had control.

Then, in the midst of that passion, his eyes flew open, brimming red with anger, beastly. The angel inside me was pleased, but I felt a sudden horror. The power crept away from me then, right when I would prefer it not to. Er—protection, please? Hello? WHERE IS MY POWER????

My night-vision was gone then, like someone had flicked a switch, and Jesse's eyes burned into me like fiery coals. Then with an animal roar that filled the room and tore a scream from my throat, he was suddenly pushing me into the sheets, and his power washed over me, into me, deeper than his body ever could. I screamed again, balling my fists and cutting bloody half-moons into my palms, and that was all I could do. Scream and tighten every muscle in my body as this horrible sensation swept over me, straddling the border between skin-melting pleasure and bone-crushing pain. He hit every cell, every zone, every realm, plunging himself so deep that my body was suddenly ripping itself apart, and his hands on my wrists kept me from doing permanent damage. Then he hit that one spot, and the world was nothing but a shimmering, flickering, white thing, with Jesse's blind red eyes glaring down at me…

That was when I felt it. It was like a burning needle had suddenly buried itself deep into my heart, and slashed across my chest. A trail of fiery agony blazed over my body, and I my mouth opened in a silent scream of pain, which I had no voice left to express. It had nothing…absolutely nothing to do with Jesse. But as Jesse's eyes dimmed back their usual liquid blackness, and the painful pleasure within cooled to a wistful thrum of energy, I heard her final prayer, and cold dread filled me.

"His perfect world. Father. My true Father. The Ultimate…Amen."

And I knew…

My Rose…was wilting…

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

I was calling my name in an almost obscene undertone, deep in my mind, touching me within…my heart panged with sorrow at the terrible thought of his pain.

"My Father…" I murmured. "I am coming…"

There was no more doubt. No more self-hate. I was in a cold place, where nothing mattered anymore. My thoughts were not my own. HE could not conquer my soul, and so he was ruling me from without. True Hell…entrapment…

I knew it would kill me. I knew. And I wanted it. For him. For his dream. My purpose…

I drew my fingers delicately over the smooth glass…and a moment later, it shattered beneath my touch, letting in all the sounds of the booming city, the high-whistling wind, and the grotesque smells of decadence. My tiny hand was outstretched, out into the open air—so cold! Like pure, liquid ice. Already it strangled me, and constricted my throat painfully. I swallowed hard. One final leap, and the pain would be gone, forever.

I stretched out my other arm, holding them both out towards the sky. "Take me," I begged quietly. I let my small wings unfurl from my back, and I prayed that I could fly. "Take me with you, Father…"

"Rose! STOP IT, ROSE!!!"

I could see them without even turning. My dear, dear mother, how you delude yourself. Why do you fight? Why don't you just give in to the darkness? It always wins in the end. Always. It infects everything, corrupts even the purest. Jesse, running beside you down that long, winding hall, valiantly trying to save me…he was once the purest of souls. His purity was once clear and bright enough to open the ninth Hell Gate. Now, look at him. Hardly any of that beauty remains. He is as ugly as everything else in this world. And so am I.

A cruel smile curled my lips, and through the haze of my drowsy reverie, I saw a shadow reach out from the cold, and felt the sting as it took my hands.

"Give in to the Darkness, Alexiel…it takes us all."

Takes us all………………….

Then the shadows were gently pulling me forward, and I was tipping out into eternity. My head swam with dizziness as I saw the world laid out before me, warping into a paroxysm of lights and sounds, leaning, leaning…vertigo blurred my vision, and I was trapped in that one moment. The shadows slipped away, and with it, so did the dark presence that filled my mind. Slipped away, will one final chuckle, and a sinful brush of unseen fingers where Mommy told me no one should touch…

"Yes…it takes us all…Rosie…"

And I knew what I had done. I heard hoarse screams behind me, filled with the deepest despair I had ever witnessed. Again there was that vision, and I saw my Mommy, prostrate in the hall, unable to move as her bloody fists beat against the floor. She was trying to drag herself across the hall with her arms…why was she like that? Why wasn't she saving me? Why was she so weak? Where was my strong Mommy, who told me she would always save me no matter what?

Then that painful moment of eternity shattered, and sheets of ice were beating against me as I fell from the sky, breaking my tiny, useless body into a thousand screaming ulnas. I heard my useless wings snap clear and loud, and a few seconds later the pain jolted through my body. Too small, too useless…

I opened my mouth to scream, and the cold hair flew into me, down my throat, sucking the breath out of me and burning my vocal chords. And still things were breaking…still things were falling away…pieces of my soul were dying along with my body…I could breathe, could see, couldn't cry, couldn't scream…

Why am I so weak? Why am I so stupid?

I DESERVE TO DIE.

"ROSIE!"

Reluctant hope flared within…the sound of his voice was heavenly. And he was so close…just feet above me, flying down to catch me, to snatch me from death, to—

Then something else was looming from the blackness below. Midnight wings which seemed to suck away all light, until his blackness consumed my vision. His arms were also outstretched towards me, to snatch me away…but I knew he would take me somewhere else. Somewhere terrible. Somewhere painful…

Catch me, Jesse, I thought. Catch me, please!

Darkly beautiful…a beauty that defied God, defiled holiness, denied redemption. Evil wasn't supposed to be beautiful. Evil wasn't supposed to hurt you, kill you, and then make you want it. Evil was…

Then his arms encircled me, and his icy eyes consumed me. My body screamed in protest, agony searing along my every muscle and broken bone. My tearing eyes stared up in wonder at what should have been my Father, but wasn't.

No…there were his eyes, there was his hair, his lips, his smile…but something was terribly wrong. It was not my Father who held me. It was a broken man. A shadow of glory. A Fallen. The First Dark King had at last taken full possession. His final dream…the Ultimate…would now be realized…because I was such a fool.

"F-Father…" I whispered, my voice so quiet I couldn't even hear it.

He held me tightly, his hands roughly smoothing over my back, where my broken wings lay useless. A twitch went through my body at his rough handling, but I couldn't make a sound.

"H-help me, Father…"

"Sleep, idiot child…Princess of Decadence…let the pain consume you. I promise you…it is only the beginning."

The last thing I saw before my eyes were lost to the light was the cruel, uncaring smile…of my…my Father…

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

"Give in to the Darkness, Alexiel…it takes us all."

It was as if something had grabbed that frail body and swept her out into the air. The last thing I saw of her before she fell from sight was her nightgown flowing behind her like the trailing mists of a spirit. Then she was gone.

I stopped and blinked in horror. Susannah suddenly collapsed beside me, her knees buckling, and she screamed so loud and so terribly that I winced at the sound of it. We were both only half dressed…she had grabbed a robe and run out into the hall without a word, and I had barely had time to slip on some pants before running out to see what the hell was wrong. I'll admit for a second I thought I had seriously scared her into running away from me…the idea had been enough to cause pain in my chest…

But I saw what she was running for when I followed. I saw the little girl, her Rosie…our Rose?…I saw her at the end of the hall, seemingly miles away.

And I ran, too.

It was such a thick, heavy evil…like invisible draperies we had to push through…there was no way we could catch her in time. Susannah was as frantic as I'd ever seen her. And I'll admit, I'd become fond enough of the girl that I was just as scared…perhaps even more so.

And then she was gone. Taken by the shadows, and the night. Taken by that evil…the evil I knew so well.

It was Paul out there. It was Paul, and yet it wasn't. I knew because I shared his curse, his blood, his soul. I could hear him crying out in misery and defeat, pushed down deep inside where he had no control, and I could feel the Evil feeding from his hate of us, fueling his misplaced vengeance. But it was intelligent…Rose was merely a tool. A pure, innocent, untainted tool.

"Dammit!" Suze was at my feet, the perfect picture of weakness when her daughter needed her the most. Could it be I had exhausted her too much? I wouldn't have, if I knew…

"Jesse…" she pleaded silently in her dead voice. "Our…"

The next thing I knew, my legs were carrying me swiftly down the hall once more. All barriers had vanished, and a coldness coursed through my blood, colder than the air that flew in through the smashed window. I would kill him. No thought. No regret. No pain. If I went down with him, oh-fucking-well.

I dived from the building, and let my body free-fall toward the small, crumpled figure that was falling so fast…logic and reason were no more. There was only that deep, silent cold. I was lost in it, taken by it, and it protected me from feelings that I had forgotten how to understand. My humanity was peeled away from me like the flesh from an apple, and as I reached out to take her, dead or alive, I saw him rushing up at us from below. Our eyes met for an instant, and my resolve quivered, barely. Burning…his low, tantalizing voice trying to force its way into my mind…

I steeled myself, shut my eyes against his, and lunged forward for her.

My arms swept only the cold wind.

I blinked my eyes open, and caught the wind on my wings, stopping myself in midair, halfway to the ground below.

She was gone. Vanished as though she hadn't been a mere inch from my grasp a moment before. Vanished as though she had been nothing more than a vision. A fleeting, hopeless vision.

"Rosie," I whispered. My hands still clutched at the air, and a swell of deadness filled me. My eyes were drawn across the sky, over the moon, and there I saw them.

They were hung in that glorious light, dark silhouettes against the untouched purity of it. He grinned down at me with triumph as he held his unconscious daughter loosely in his hands. She was already more than halfway to death.

My heart stopped as my keen eyes followed a trail of blood trickling steadily from her mouth…

"Paul," I called out.

His smile widened.

"…Lucifer…"

"Ah! I have been discovered!" he laughed, as though there had been a chance for secrecy. I knew him too intimately.

I took a deep, calming breath. The girl was not dead. Perhaps I could reason with him…

I let myself rise until I was level with him, and I stared directly into those eyes, ignoring the whispers brushing against my mind like silk. I could be stronger than that, for my Rosie. I strong gust picked up, tousling her hair in a weak flurry, and my heart ached with a sadness I had only felt once, long, long ago…in a long-lost era, barely remembered.

"Let her go," I demanded. Like that would accomplish anything.

He answered with more vile laughter. It was echoed inside me, and I knew that he had the power to take similar control of me, and stop all of my vain attempts to take Rose back. This was futile. This was a game.

"Make me…Jesse."

A game…but I played, anyway. A dangerous recklessness pounded through me and I flew at him with every ounce of speed I could muster, hoping to catch him off guard. It was as though…should I lose Rose, there would be nothing else to lose. When did this happen? Susannah, I could understand…but the child…? I had only known her for days! What was this achingly sweet connection I had to her? I had felt it from the moment I first saw her on the roof, soothing her broken mother. So sweet, with Susannah's strength. So kind. So intelligent, and fearless.

Almost. Almost perfect. Almost.

So I played this game for her, and I knew I could die with a mere thought from him. Then, at the last moment, when my fist was milli-seconds from colliding with his grinning face, his foot suddenly came out of nowhere and caught my chin. I flew backwards, shaking away the trivial pain and stopping myself. I prepared another pointless attack, but then he suddenly lifted Rose high in one hand, as though she were a broken doll. My eyes widened as he reared back that hand, and launched her forward, high into the sky. She zoomed out of sight in a blink, and my jaw dropped open in shock. It was almost too ridiculous to be true.

"What—the—FUCK???" I sputtered. "WHAT—SHE—YOU—YOU—" I jabbed an accusing finger at him, and screeched in a tone that was sounded painfully womanly even to me, "YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO THROW HER INTO OUTER SPACE, YOU FUCKING NUT!!! I AM FIGHTING YOU TO SAVE HER!!! THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY IN HEAVEN, HELL, AND EARTH I CAN—I MEAN—WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR, YOU—"

I then descended into a fit of useless curses. English, Spanish, and French. It was too freaking crazy. I could he just—just toss her away like that??? IT MADE NO SENSE!!!

"Be calm, mortal," he laughed, and I shuddered as I saw those eyes…the icy blue was gone, replaced by the deep, flaming red I knew so well. Gone, too, was Paul's voice, and again there was that horrible rumble of death issuing from those lips. "Think of it as…a timer. We fight. Beat me before the timer runs out…or the child goes SPLAT." He chuckled as I winced slightly, and went on in a lazy drawl, "After all, what goes up must come down…"

I spared a glance back up at the sky where she had vanished, and groaned inwardly. This whole thing had taken a crazily whimsical turn the moment he saw Rose…just vanish into nothingness. That feat of impossible strength…for a second, I had almost wanted to laugh, it seemed so…cartoony. But that was terrible—

"Let me remind you how real this is, Jesse." The cold voice slithered deep inside, those eyes were suddenly inches from mine, and his hand slammed into my chest, hard. HARD. There was barely a feeling of motion before my back slammed into the building far behind, and a cry was ripped from my throat at the impact.

PAIN. Pain so great I could barely feel it…

My eyes shot upward, and I caught Susannah staring down at me in shock, miles above, her head poking out through the missing window. There were other heads, as well…I couldn't see them as clearly as Susannah's but I lamented that it would most likely be Father Dom, and her immediate friends and family, awakened from their rooms by the commotion…and wisely staying where they were. The only one who could truly stand a fight against this being was Susannah, but she was too frightened and anxious for the power within to unfold…Alexiel was bound by her humanity. And that left me…the one who truly stood the smallest chance.

Below, far, far below, the streets were filled with onlookers. Hundreds. Thousands. We were hard to miss at this point. Nobody could miss the power radiating from that evil…

High above, Rose was still missing in sight. 'Splat'? Somebody would dare to catch her if they could…wouldn't they?

I shuddered at the thought of everyone watching without a thought of offering aid as she smashed into the ground…

My body peeled away from the wall of the building, with great effort. We had an audience. The world was watching. Surely, the demons were watching. Perhaps even God himself was honoring us with his attention. The truest dark had awakened, and our only light was trapped in a mortal who was afraid of herself to save us…

Let the game begin.

A/N: Ack, overdramatic….okay, go REVIEW…..I figured it was time for the story to take some kind of turn, I've been trucking along in the same vein for too long…..GO JESSE!!! (waves flags and throws confetti…..ducks as tomatoes are lobbed at her) Okay, okay….I'm trying to write faster, I swear…..things are just crazy right now….and I'm also simultaneously working on a novel that I hope to get published someday….I'm quite proud of it….okay, shutting up now….

Everybody, have a Merry Christmas!!!

TTFN


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